Is your Fridge Running
by isabellsah cullen
Summary: So Bella stays at the Cullen's house and the pranking begins with Bella! It has some ExB fluff and a lot of laughs! Emmett singing,not swearing, annoying Bella... Interested?
1. Flying

**Hello everyone, so this is another idea i have, it's eventaully going to be humour! I have not forgoten my other story and i will update it tomorrow or the next day but i had the urge to write this so here it is!**

**I dont own the Meyer Magic that is twilight!**

It was spring vacation and Charlie had gone camping and fishing for the whole week and had allowed me to stay at the Cullen's house. I had just finished packing my backpack and grabbed my overnight bag when I felt a light breeze. Turning around I saw Edward sitting in my rocking chair. I sighed, happy to see him.

"Hello my love, are you almost ready to go?" He smiled at me through his very light topaz eyes. He had just come back from hunting.

"Yep" I smiled back at him shoving my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. I was also wearing a blue deep v cut top, just for him. I watched as his eyes slowly assessed my body. It was painful, I hated when he just stared at me, and it almost made me want to read minds...almost. I wouldn't like to have to see what Emmett and Jasper think sometimes. I know they do it just to stir Edward up but...I shuddered slightly at the thought.

"What are you thinking Bella?" Edward was suddenly at my side tracing his finger across my jaw line. I had to laugh.

"Actually I was thinking how much I would hate to be able to read minds" He stood shocked, well I guess I didn't tell him what I was thinking that often. He suddenly kissed me deeply. My mind went blank until I heard him chuckling. I shook my head slowly to clear it.

"What was that for?"I asked bewildered.

"Can I not just want to kiss my fiancé?" He pouted. Curse Alice for teaching him how to do that, as if he wasn't irresistible enough as it was.

"Whatever Edward" I returned picking up my bags. They were gone out of my hand in a blur. My head shot up and I looked around the room. Edward was missing to. Ugh! I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was startled as Edward jumped onto the bed next to me. I actually think my heart stopped beating for a second there. Edward was silently chuckling next to me but I could feel the tremors from his chest. He was in a really good mood today.

"Why are you so happy Edward?" I pondered staring at his beautiful face.

"Because I'm with the love of my life and I get to spend an entire week with her alone" He started kissing my jaw line and down my neck. I relaxed and smiled, until Edward's phone started vibrating.

"We're coming Alice!" He flipped it open and practically shouted closing it quickly.

"Well, almost alone" He sighed, sitting up, pulling me with him.

"Now love, are you ready to spend a week at the Cullen house" He smiled at me lovingly.

"Of course" He slung me onto his back and jumped out the window. I snapped my eyes shut, held on for dear life and buried my face in his shirt. He stopped shortly and I slid off him, landing on the ground in front of his house.

"Silly Bella, if you would have waited I would have helped you off" He laughed before picking me off the ground and carrying my bridal style into the house at vampire speed.

"Eeek! Edward could you please warn me when you are about to do that." I grumbled. He just laughed and kissed me briefly before swinging me down out of his arms. As soon as my feet touched the ground I was swept up into someone else's arms and raced off.

"Edward!!" I screamed struggling against the arms of whoever held me.

"Emmett ! Put her down NOW!!" I heard Edward yell before a growl tore through his chest. Emmett laughed in response. Suddenly I was on the ground and there was a large hole in the wall.

"Bella sweetheart are you alright?" Edward appeared in front of me, stroking my face. I nodded and he helped me up, holding me securely in his arms. His eyes assessed my body for damage.

"I'm fine Edward, really" I murmured.

"Edward, no fair, I want to play with the human!" Emmett whined climbing in through the hole in the wall, dusting plaster off himself.

"Go find your own!" Edward snapped and pulled me towards the stairs. Emmett was in front of us immediately, blocking our path.

"Emmett get out of the way" Edward warned in a low threatening voice. It scared me a little but Emmett just brushed him off.

"C'mon Eddie, don't be such a prune! She's going to be my little sister soon; I should be allowed to play with her." Emmett whined as Edward casually threw him across the room and walked me up the stairs.

"Emmett, she is not a toy!" Edward growled. "And besides I'm allowed to be selfish! She's mine and you just want to embarrass her. Now back off!" Edward ran me quickly up to his room. I hated how they all talked about me as if I wasn't there. Just because I was human, I rolled my eyes as Edward sat down on the couch with me in his lap.

"I'm sorry about Emmett love" He muttered into my hair, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rested my head against his chest.

"It's ok Edward" I sighed. Suddenly Emmett burst into the room. We were never going to get any peace.

"Esme said I could play with Bella!" He shouted triumphantly. Edward locked his arms around me tightly and growled. I looked between Edward and Emmett quickly, I didn't really want to get hurt, not that Edward would let me but... Jasper waltzed in the door and leaned against the doorframe.

"You two are scaring the human" He spoke softly, amusement in his eyes as he assessed me trapped between Emmett and Edward who were staring each other down. I instantly began to feel calm. Jasper was a pain in the ass sometimes; maybe this is where my lack of fear came from. I clutched onto Edward's shirt unconsciously.

"Emmett, Jasper could you please GET OUT! I've been away from Bella for the past two days and I just want to spend some time with her and so help me I will rip you both to shreds just to get you out of here!" Edward was now standing protectively in front of me, addressing Emmett and Jasper hostilely.

"I can wait, she's here all week" Jasper laughed, winking at me then flying out of the room before Edward could attack him. What was with that wink! I was staring at the doorway when I saw a flash of white and was wrapped in someone's arms. Oh God, not again. At the moment I was swept up, Emmett launched at Edward. Damn it now I was screwed. Suddenly I was thrown out of a window. I was screaming my lungs off and wrapped my arms around my head protectively. Flying through the air into the forest I finally landed in someone's arms painfully. My ribs would definitely be bruised tomorrow. Who the hell would throw me that far out a freaking window?

"Take a chill pill Bella" Rosalie laughed dropping me on the ground. Of course it was her; no-one else was stupid enough to risk the accident prone human's life.

"Rosalie" I turned to her, furious and in pain.

"Oh, I'm so scared what is the little defenceless human going to do?" She flipped her blonde hair back and laughed. Where was Edward when I needed him? Suddenly an idea formed in my mind and I felt a smile growing on my face, I was going to get Rose back for this. The smirk on Rosalie's face slowly started to slip.

"You don't want to cross me _Isabella_" Rosalie stormed over to me and growled in my face. Charming.

"Oh I really think I do _Rose_" I smiled wider. Alice's shriek was heard in the distance and I was instantly embraced in two strong arms. I just hoped they were Edward's. Rose took a step back from me and paled...if that was even possible. She must have had some unpleasant thoughts running through her mind about me because Edward started growling at her.

"Rosalie if you _ever_ repeat what you just did...if you ever even touch Bella again...I will make your life a living hell starting with your car" Edward snarled menacingly.

"Relax Edward, Emmett and Jasper just wanted to prank you by stealing Bella...no big deal" She huffed.

"Relax?...you just threw my fiancé out a damn window Rosalie!" He spat, venom in his voice.

"Edward it is fine, just be thankful she caught me" I smiled. Both Edward and Rosalie stared at me in disbelief.

"What? Emmett and Jasper play catch with me all the time" I smiled innocently. Edward stood still and took a deep breath.

"They...do...what?!" He asked pinching the bridge of his nose. Rosalie just stood there; she really did act blonde sometimes.

"Uh Rose, this is where you run away from Edward while he's angry at someone else" I whispered to her, even though I knew Edward could hear me. She took off in a heartbeat. The only reason I was helping her was so that I could get her back later...Bella style...poor defenceless human my ass! I chuckled, wincing at the pain it caused and Edward unfroze and stated running his hands over my body, probably looking for the damage. I was honestly surprised I hadn't gotten hurt worse than a bruised rib cage.

"Edward, must you?" I asked, very embarrassed, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks as his hands ran over my stomach...underneath my shirt. His cold hands did feel nice against my bruises though. He started kissing along my collar bone and neck, showering me in kisses.

"Love, please don't ever scare me like that again" He said in between kisses. I wriggled away from him but he just pulled me closer, his lips brushing across mine softly. "I thought..." he trailed off and I looked into his eyes and witnessed the anguish he was feeling.

"Sorry, next time someone in your vampire family kidnaps me I will ask them kindly to refrain from throwing me around" Like they would listen to me anyway. He flashed me his crooked smile and took my hand; leading me back towards what I assumed was the house. After ten minutes of excruciating walking I started to have trouble breathing. I was surprised Edward didn't realise that something was wrong with me.

"Edward, how far did Rose throw me?" I asked, after catching my breath, amazed that it had seemed only a few yards at the time.

"My sweet Bella, you really don't want me to answer that question" He laughed, kissing my hand lightly.

"She'll pay" I muttered. Edward paused and stared at me. Suddenly Alice was in front of us. I guess my idea was a success then. I felt a smile spread across my face and watched as Edward read Alice's mind, a smile appearing on his lips.

"My dear, I do believe you are brilliant" He whispered in my ear, kissing my lips gently.

"Oooooh Bella you are going to have her eating out of your hand!" Alice shrieked dancing around us gaily. "Oh and Edward you might want to get Bella some ice" She paused staring at me. I gulped and wouldn't meet Edward's burning gaze.

"Bella, love, why do you need ice?" He asked kindly, worry laced in his voice.

"Because...being caught by Rose is like being thrown into a brick wall. Emmett and Jasper are much better at it if you ask me" I whispered so softly and quickly I was surprised that Alice and him could even hear me. I felt his hands on me again.

"Where are you hurt love?" He murmured softly, while his eyes were roaming around my body, looking for injuries.

"She just bruised my ribs a little" I sighed, wincing slightly, ok so maybe I was hurt worse than I initially thought. Edward growled, lifting up my shirt and tracing my now bruised ribs. I shivered slightly.

"I'll kill her" Edward snapped, wrapping his arms gently around me.

"Actually Edward I think this might work out better" Alice squealed.

"Alice, I really don't want Bella to get hurt anymore and that idea is likely to open up a whole can of worms" He murmured. "Besides, I would like Carlisle to see if any of your ribs are _actually _ broken" He started pouting again.

"But Edward, Rose will never suspect Bella's faking, we all know she can't lie" Alice pouted in return. Uh oh it was a battle between the master and the pupil. After a few minutes Edward sighed.

"Fine, we'll do it, but Bella you aren't leaving my side" Edward declared.

"I'll be glad to oblige" I smiled as he carefully picked me up in his arms, causing me to wince.

"How bad does it hurt love?" He smiled at me sadly.

"Just when I breathe" I whispered curling up into his chest, cringing as I twisted my ribcage. We were back at the house in an instant, let the games begin.

**I have another chapter written for this but i want to see if i get a reponse to determine whether i will continue. So review if you like it and want more!!**


	2. Lying

**Ok so WOW i got way more reviews than i thought i would! THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!! I really didn't think you guys would like it that much!**

**Lol, i cant wait till...oh you will just have to find out later...ha ha**

**I dont own the Meyer Magic!! But this is my manipulation of the characters!**

BPOV

I groaned softly as Edward carried me slowly up the porch steps, Alice opening the door for him. We were putting on quite the show. Alice suddenly poked my ribs and real tears started falling. Now why'd she have to go and do that?

"Alice!" Edward hissed at her.

"I was just checking" She shrugged. Just checking what? If I still felt pain? How many pokes it would take for me to pass out? Just because they weren't really broken didn't mean they still didn't hurt like hell.

"Edward" I moaned "Please just put me on the couch... it hurts" I whispered, gasping the last part, the tears still rolling down my face.

"Edward, what did you do to Bella?" Emmett asked angrily, standing suddenly in front of us, causing me to jump. Oww. More real tears rolled down my face; that really hurt.

"Emmett, you Jasper, Alice and Rosalie have done enough damage for one day. Back off!" Edward roared.

"What's wrong Edward, Bella was fine fifteen minutes ago" Rose sulked.

"Bella is seriously injured Rose and it's your entire fault! Get out of my way" Edward raged, stepping around her.

"What's wrong Edward?" Carlisle swiftly appeared and looked down at me.

"Let's talk in your office Carlisle, please, everyone else stay here and Alice I might need you to help Bella but wait till I call" Edward ordered and everyone complied, even Carlisle. Edward slowly walked me up the stairs with me occasionally whimpering, even though he was being a lot gentler than usual, which was saying something.

"My poor Bella" He murmured as Carlisle held open the door and Edward sat with me in his lap.

"Now what is wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked reaching out to me. I involuntarily flinched; I really didn't want him to touch me after the oh so sweet, cough, innocent, cough, Alice had just hurt me.

"Calm down Bella" Edward soothed, stroking my hair. "Carlisle, her ribs are broken" Edward stated winking at Carlisle and placing his finger over his lips, causing Carlisle to cock his head in confusion. They then entered into silent conversation with Edward nodding or shaking his head in response.

"Bella, how did this happen?" Carlisle addressed me again quietly, concern still etched in his face.

"Well, Jasper and Emmett were pulling a prank on Edward and Rose threw me out a window, and I... well she just hasn't had enough practice catching humans I guess" I finished quietly.

"Hmm, I'd like to take a look Bella please" I nodded and lifted up my shirt to reveal my now purple ribs. Carlisle's hands quickly and painlessly assessed my ribs. Edward looked at him expectantly and let out a deep breath.

"Well, Edward you were right, three of her ribs are broken and the rest are severely bruised." Carlisle stepped back and Edward tugged down my shirt. "Seeing as it didn't happen long ago ice might still prevent some damage, other than that, she needs to be bandaged up and rest for a day or two in bed." Carlisle flashed us both a smile.

"Thank you Carlisle, I can take care of her from here" Edward stood up with me in his arms, and I whimpered. I couldn't help it, it hurt. Edward and Carlisle exchanged glances and I'm sure had another conversation.

"Thank you Carlisle" I murmured as Edward carried me out. I didn't really think bruised ribs would hurt this much but every breath was getting more painful. Edward laid me down on his bed and Alice walked in with bags of ice.

"Bella, this is going to be cold" I nodded and relaxed as I felt the ice start to work its' magic.

"You're a life saver Alice" I smiled at her. The ice really did make it feel better. Alice danced out of the room and Edward lay down next to me playing with my hair.

"Is it really that bad Edward?" I asked quietly, watching his face carefully. He shook his head no and flashed me a smile before saying.

"Just get some rest Bella, and you will be fine" He really did make a great actor, I wish I could act like that.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that Edward?" I posed. A knock on the door brought us out of conversation.

"Edward..." Rosalie's voice sounded from the other side of the door. A soft growl erupted from Edward. I guess he really was still a bit mad at her.

"What Rose" He snapped as she opened the door and looked at me with sad eyes. Just what had Alice told her?

"I'm really sorry Bella... Edward I never meant to hurt her, you know that right?" She sounded so...insecure. Wow.

"Whatever Rosalie" Edward dismissed her. I kind of felt bad for her.

"Next time think before you throw me out a window Rose please, that's all I ask" I said forgivingly.

"What!" Edward shrieked sitting upright. "You are forgiving her for this...after how she always treats you and now she physically harms you and you forgive her instantly?" I couldn't tell whether Edward was really mad about this or not so I just answered truthfully.

"Edward, she's your sister, and she will always be your sister before I am your girlfriend or your wife. I don't want to come between you and your family ever" I whispered, his expression changing instantly to grief.

"Bella please love, don't say that" Edward murmured softly stroking my hair and placing a kiss on my wrist.

"Yeah Bella, we all know how important you are to Edward, you always come first to him and that's the way it should be" Rose added softly taking a small step towards me in which Edward growled in response.

"No I shouldn't Rose...and if I'm just causing fights between you two I think I should leave" I sighed sitting up as tears streamed down my face. This plan was pretty cruel, even by Alice's standard but hopefully it would teach Rose a lesson.

"Bella, please I love you" Edward cried, winking at me when his back was to Rose.

"I love you to Edward but I want the best for you...I've been selfish and Rose helped me to see that" I tried to stand up, but I was having trouble.

"What?!" Rose screamed "No Bella, what are you talking about? You can't leave Edward; get back in that bed now! Just because I break a few ribs you are giving up! No I won't have it, we all love you now don't make me tie you down" She was really freaking out, but now we had what we wanted.

"You love me Rose?" I asked quietly, actually very shocked by this revelation.

"Of course I do, please Bella lie back down, I can't take eternity with a depressed Edward" She begged.

"Well maybe if you treat Bella better she will want to hang around for a little longer" Edward pushed.

"I will do anything, I love you like a little sister Bella and I promise I will be nice from now on" She was holding my hand now. Wow, what was depressed Edward like? I eyed him carefully and I thought I saw him blush, but of course that's physically impossible for him.

"Well now that's sorted, let's go downstairs and watch a movie Bella" Edward loosened Rose's grip on my hand before picking me up.

"Ok Edward" I smiled.

"Wh...What just happened here?" Rose asked in a shaky voice. Edward laughed at her.

"Dear sister, you just got played by a human" Edward smirked, little did either of them know that this was just phase one in my pay-back scheme.

"WHAT!" She screamed. Ouch, my ears. "Is she even hurt then?" Edward's expression immediately turned dark.

"Yes Rose, her ribs are bruised and they are going to be very sore for a few days" Edward lifted up my shirt to show her and she gasped.

"I...I did that to her? I really am sorry Bella" Rose was staring at me. I laughed, I couldn't help it.

"Well Rose I'm very fragile, get some tips off Emmett on how to catch me so next time Edward won't be so mad about it" She smiled at me.

"So you, little Bella, set me up?" I nodded and Edward sat me back down on the bed.

"Well, well, well...the human is useful after all" She smirked before dashing out. Edward groaned.

"What?" I asked.

'Let's just say this is going to be an interesting week" Edward smiled kissing me deeply as my hands sneaked up into his hair. He didn't pull away until I was absolutely gasping for breath.

"Worried are we?" I wondered at his strange behaviour after I got my breathing under control.

"Yes, that you will one day so those heart wrenching words to me" He seemed so depressed. I leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Never Edward, I promise I will never say those words to you ever again, I love you" His eyes met mine and he smiled.

"Good, because I might just be too selfish to let you go" He kissed my neck, before disappearing. I sighed. I don't think I will ever get used to vampire speed. He returned quickly with some bandages.

"Edward, do I have to?" I groaned.

"Does it still hurt?"He enquired staring into my eyes.

"Yes" I muttered closing my eyes.

"Then yes my love, it will make you feel better" He began wrapping the bandage around my waist perfectly.

"Thank you Edward" I gave him a small smile.

"No worries love, now let's go downstairs and face whatever this week has to bring" I nodded and he ran me downstairs.

XXooooooXX

APOV

_Huh, Bella still has more payback planned for Rose...interesting. Wow the ideas Rose is coming up with to get revenge on Bella are really imaginative, and most of them involve Emmett. Wait...what was that idea...she was using Bella to gain revenge on me and Edward...uh oh. _

RPOV

_Who would have thought the little innocent human could be so devious and creative. I think I'm starting to like her more already. But before I can use her, I need to get her back for that little stunt...I'm going to need a pranking genius; I wonder where my husband is?_

EPOV

_My poor sweet Bella is in for hell. I will just have to make sure she won't leave my side ever...I mean all week...cough...lucky no-one can hear what I'm thinking._

EMPOV

_So tell me what you want what you really, really want, I'll tell you what I want what I really, really want I wanna, I wanna...I love the spice girls!_

JPOV

_What the hell is with all these emotions? It's driving me crazy!!Edward's angry and possessive, Bella's happy, Rosalie is...wow...angry, excited, happy, calm and restless. Emmett is feeling lustful...wait I see him dancing, dude I bet it's the spice girls, Carlisle seems anxious and Alice seems...scared? Why is my wife scared? And why is Esme feeling...cunning and mischievous...she has never had those emotions before..._

CPOV

_Lucky I brought home some extra medical supplies...I think Bella is going to need them. She's only been here an hour and she's already bruised and battered. That reminds me, I need to punish Rosalie. _

ESPOV

_I wonder what I should try to cook Bella for lunch and how I can use her to finally get all my children back for the countless times they have destroyed my precious house!_

XXoooooXX

**REVIEW...how funny is Emmett, i love him!!**


	3. Tiring

**Here is my next chapter, im sorry i haven't updated in a while...please dont hate me**

**Thanks for all the reviews...keep it up!!**

**I dont own twilight...sadly**

BPOV

We walked into the living room and Edward sat me on the couch, sitting right next to me with his arm a little too tight around my waist.

"Edward...too tight" He instantly loosened his grip and started kissing me.

"Sorry Bella" He paused and looked up as his family entered. Carlisle leading.

"Edward, Bella" Carlisle nodded respectively at us. "Rosalie, has apologized Edward, Bella has forgiven her, I think you should too" Edward inclined his head.

"I forgive you but if you ever do it again I will..." Edward answered.

"Yes Edward I get it thank you" Rosalie snapped.

"Ok, now the rules for this week..." Carlisle was cut off instantly.

"Rules, C'mon!" Alice whined

"But Carlisle!" Rosalie groaned

"Rules are just made to be broken!" Emmett shouted above everyone else.

"Emmett, these rules are NOT to be broken, otherwise you will not only face the wrath of Edward but Esme and Me also. Rule number one, no hurting Bella, no placing Bella in a potentially dangerous situation, no throwing Bella out windows, no getting Bella drunk or intoxicated or high in any form, no destroying the house, no burning or blowing up _my _books and don't torture or patronise any unsuspecting humans! I hope I have covered all bases" Carlisle sighed. "Oh wait, I forgot, Esme said Edward had to share Bella" I froze and a growl came from Edward.

"Don't give me that young man and Carlisle shame on you for blaming it on me! Edward, she is going to be a part of this family she needs to learn to be comfortable around us and we need to learn to...well accept her" Esme lectured.

"Fine, but I get her for the majority of the day...and all of the night" Edward bargained.

"Don't I get a say in this? It is NOT pass the human week!" I complained, I didn't want to spend my time being passed from vampire to vampire to merely be embarrassed or pranked or tortured or what else those crazy grins on their faces meant. I just wanted to be with Edward.

"No Bella, you don't get a say" Was all Esme said before gliding away. Well, now Esme is on my hit list...oooh...hit list I like it, now how can I get her back for this? I think I will go for her precious kitchen...ha ha ha...I felt a smile spread across my face. But wait I have to get Rose back...again...but I will have to wait for her to leave.

'Love, calm down" Edward whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I melted at his words and instantly relaxed.

"Oooh Edward let me have Bella" Alice squealed. This week was going to be hell. I felt my anger boiling and I also felt Jasper sending waves of calm but I was getting too mad even for him to control. I had been through enough today, I could barely stand on my own two feet and I could almost bet Alice wanted to take me shopping! No way in hell was I going through that torture today. Edward seemed to share a similar opinion because he was growling at Alice.

"Alice, babe, you need to back away from Bella right now" Everyone froze and turned their heads towards Jasper. He hardly ever spoke and he NEVER told Alice what to do.

"Edward is threatening me and you are _telling_ me to back away from Bella?" Alice asked confusion laced in her voice. Jasper looked me dead in the eyes, still trying to calm me down. I took a deep breath and shot him a look that said_ "are you happy now?"_ He nodded.

"It's ok now" Jasper relaxed back into his seat. Everyone was looking between me and Jasper, confusion plastered on their faces.

"Bella?" Edward questioned quietly.

"Yes Edward" I turned to look at his face...he looked depressed.

"What was that about?" He asked glaring suddenly at Jasper.

"I was ready to kill Alice if she uttered one wrong word" I shrugged while everyone looked at me again. So I wasn't acting like myself big deal...I always made them happy by doing exactly what they wanted...not anymore, the only person I would do anything for, unquestioningly, was Edward. I was sick of being bossed around by Alice, being invisible for and hated by Rosalie and being embarrassed by Emmett. Wow, I have never had feeling like this before...this doesn't seem right. Jasper stood again and walked over to me, sitting next to me. I froze and glanced at Edward. Jasper always tried to stay as far away from me as possible. Edward was staring at Jasper.

"Bella...what the hell is wrong?" Jasper asked studying me. It was quite unnerving. He waved his hand in front of my face.

"I...well my emotions are going hay wirer and if I didn't know any better I would blame you" I muttered and shrieked as Jasper reached out and grabbed my hand that Edward wasn't holding. Edward growled.

"Shut up Edward of course I'm not toying with Bella's emotions and I am certainly not trying to steal her from you!" Jasper suddenly jumped up and glanced around the room. So I wasn't the only one who was acting out of character.

"Jasper!" Edward exclaimed.

"Edward, hold onto Bella...someone else is here" Jasper murmured, studying the room.

"We would have smelled them if they were here, honey" Alice whispered quietly. I looked around the room and gasped. There was someone sitting at the piano. How could the others not seem him? The person, who looked remarkably like a vampire looked at me, shocked.

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward cooed. I pointed to the piano, Edward looked confused but Jasper narrowed his eyes and attacked. The vampire suddenly became visible to the others and Edward ran me out of the room so fast I would have missed it if I blinked. Edward stood in front of me protectively and was darting his eyes all around the room.

"Do you see him anywhere Bella?" He was asking me?

"Isn't he fighting Jasper?" I asked slowly.

"Oh yeah...I just began feeling so insecure and uncertain" Edward was frowning now. He took me by the hand and led me back into the room.

"Edward! What are you doing?" I shrieked.

"It will be fine Bella...Chillax" Whoa...what is up with Edward...at least I had control over my own emotions at the moment but I could definitely feel someone trying to mess with them.

"Edward if you take me in there I will never speak to you again" Maybe I could shock him out of this state. He froze and looked at me his face instantly changing.

"I'm sorry Bella, I don't know what came over me" He pulled me close to his chest.

"I do, it's whoever is in there" I gestured to the living room. Suddenly a blur flew past.

"Jasper what are you doing to Nathaniel!" Carlisle shrieked and silence echoed.

"We can go in there now, it's safe...relatively anyway" Edward hissed. What was he angry about? We walked into the room to find Carlisle and the Nathaniel person bursting with laughter and high fiving each other.

"What is going on here Carlisle" Edward stated through clenched teeth.

"Just a bit of fun Edward" Nathaniel answered. I heard a growl emanate from Edward's chest and he pulled me behind his body.

"I don't believe I was talking to you...and stop thinking about my _fiancé _like that!" Edward screamed.

"You were right Carlisle, he is overprotective...and she is amazing really...my powers barely had any effect on her." Nathaniel chuckled and I watched as Edward tensed then pounced on him.

"Edward stop!" I shrieked and he was at my side in an instant.

"Sorry Bella" He murmured kissing my neck, wrapping his arms around me and glaring at Nathaniel who had amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Carlisle please" I begged rubbing my head...everyone was acting so...vampire today, it was giving me a headache.

"This is my old friend Nathaniel, he has the power to manipulate emotions and can use them to trick your mind into not seeing him. I invited him here to visit and you were all in pranking mode so we played a trick of our own." Carlisle smiled at me.

"Thank God it wasn't me" I grumbled under my breath, they all still heard me anyway and laughed in response.

"Actually, your emotions were hard to create, but once the feeling was there I could heighten it...and well...you could see me" Nathaniel looked at me curiously. Edward growled to his thoughts.

"Hey I'm not even the weirdest person in this room, don't give me that look" I said squaring my shoulders at him. He put his hands up in surrender.

"I never said that" He grinned at me.

"But you _were _thinking it" Edward scowled.

"Touché" Nathaniel continued smiling. I was screaming on the inside, this guy was infuriating me.

"Bella please calm down" Jasper muttered walking over to stand in front of me, blocking me from Nathaniel. Instantly my anger dissipated. For crying out loud! This was too much. I started taking deep breaths. I could block this guy...he worked on my mind, sort of...if I remained emotionless he wouldn't be able to influence me. I tried to clear myself of all emotion. Jasper took a side step and inclined his head towards me. Now I just had to keep this up.

"Interesting...how did you do that Bella?" Nathaniel took a step towards me. I blinked in alarm but kept my emotions intact.

"What is going on?" Rosalie shrieked.

"We dear sister...Bella is blocking herself from Nathaniel by remaining in an emotionless state, amazingly...and he's trying to make her break" Jasper recounted staring me down. I felt a shiver run up my spine and there went my concentration...crap.

"Thanks Jasper" I snapped, damn it! "You, new vampire person stop toying with my emotions!" I screamed pushing Edward off me and stalking towards Nathaniel. I pushed my hands against his chest and he flew across the room.

"Oops...that's...how?" I looked at my hands than at Nathaniel who pulled himself out of the wall.

"Wow...I guess that power works on you" He laughed and walked around me carefully in a circle. Now I was really frustrated...what was going on now.

"And what power would that be" Edward was now in front of me, blocking me from Nathaniel.

"Well, when I influence someone's emotion...they can either gain strength or lose it for example...if she felt like she could tear down a house...i could make that happen" He looked at me strangely.

"Alright Nathaniel, that's enough...Edward is getting mad" Carlisle ordered. Nathaniel inclined his head towards me and followed Carlisle upstairs.

"What is going on in here...what happened to my wall?!" Esme yelled. Everyone in the room pointed to me...well I guess I got Esme back that was easier than I thought it would have been.

"Bella...care to explain" Esme looked livid...I had never seen her mad before...ever. Suddenly Nathaniel appeared next to Esme.

"It was my fault entirely...i provoked her you see" Nathaniel said sweetly to Esme. She smiled and nodded.

"Very well" And with that she glided off. I watched Edward, Jasper and Alice all grimace. Great, now I had made Esme mad and she was planning retaliation. I sighed and slid out of Edward's arm onto the couch.

"My dear, sweet danger magnet" Edward whispered in my ear, now sitting next to me. "How ever did you manage to upset Esme?" He chuckled and I frowned.

"Well, I don't want to be here when Esme retaliates... Emmett let's get out of the house for a while." Rosalie suggested. Emmett nodded and in an instant they were out of the house and I heard tyres burning. Well, this worked out for my other plan.

"Edward, can we go upstairs now?" I asked quietly, absentmindedly rubbing my ribs.

"Of course my love" He picked me up in his arms and put me down in front of Rose and Emmet's door a second later. I cocked my head at him.

"Alice had a vision" Naturally...I chuckled before pushing open the door...

**REVEIW!!...Did you like Nathaniel??He's funny and annoying!**


	4. Firing

**The next chapter!! Thanks for all the reviews...lol...keep up the good work!**

**Any Ideas?? No? Review anyway! Yes? Review and tell me what they are...it will give me something to laugh about and i might just include it later!**

**I dont own anything!**

BPOV

Trust Alice to already be in here...implementing my plan. Well at least this way...technically it wasn't me.

"Done!" Alice exclaimed victoriously bouncing up and down.

"Now all we have to do is wait for Rose to come home and take a shower" I exclaimed in glee.

"And that will be in...two hours and fifteen minutes" Alice closed her eyes concentrating for a second before confirming her prediction with a nod. "Unless some unforeseeable event occurs...then it might be sooner."

"Well love, what should we do till then? It's late morning, want to go somewhere for lunch?" Edward asked, leading me out of the room.

"Actually Edward...I have to go to work this afternoon...it's Saturday" I reminded gently, he absolutely hated the fact I worked at the Newton's shop, not to mention the pitiful wage they paid me. But I enjoyed being independent...well as independent as someone on six dollars an hour could be...Was it even legal?

"Bella" Edward growled, halting in his steps and cornering me against the wall.

"Yes Edward" I replied slightly breathless at the proximity of his lips to mine. His breath fanned my face and I almost lost my train of thought...almost, ha ha Edward nice try.

"Bella...please be reasonable, I get that you want to be independent and that somehow your mind interprets this as a money thing. I have enough money for you to live on for...well an eternity! If you still feel the need to make money, do it somewhere _away_ from Mike Newton and that pays you for what you're worth." He sounded so frustrated...but really there was nowhere else to work in Forks.

"What? Seven dollars an hour" I was trying to make a joke...Edward didn't see it that way. He crushed his lips to mine, gently of course, but with more passion than ever. He pulled away, eventually but it was still too soon for my liking. My breathing was ragged, but he made sure I held his gaze.

"Bella...there is no way I could measure what you are worth...but it is so far from seven dollars" He sighed exasperatedly. "I'm afraid I might scare you with the figure...but then I think it doesn't even amount to you anyway" He pinched the bridge of his nose and started breathing deeply. "Why must you keep underestimating yourself Bella? Do you not realise how special you are? How important you are...especially to me?" He trailed off, frustrated...no doubt at me.

"How much do you think I'm worth an hour Edward?" I asked shyly, my voice quieter than a whisper. He still heard me; everyone in the house probably still heard me.

"Bella" he took my face in his hands "Promise me you won't be mad" He smiled weakly, it not reaching his eyes.

"Why would I be mad?" I asked, slightly bewildered.

"Well it is very hard for me to figure out how your mind works" He paused, focusing his glare intently at my forehead trying no doubt to read my thoughts. "So I don't want you to be upset if the number is too small or big for your liking" His gaze shifted back to my eyes. His were so intense I had to blink and look away. I nodded slowly. "I don't think I should be telling you this" He added as an afterthought.

"Please Edward...I like it when you are honest with me" I murmured, now slightly afraid what kind of figure he would put on me.

'Well, Bella, honestly, I think you are worth at least... teefnmillionhollarsfdofegsswleastwaxssv eseeauetmillion". He spat out the last part much too fast for my measly human ears to understand.

"What was that again Edward? Slower this time if you wouldn't mind?" My heart rate had increased...I swear I had heard him use the word _million_.

"I said, my dearest Bella...I said... ten million dollars an hour at least if not much more because that is just how important you are to me, oh crap I should have said one hundred million...that was exactly what I said but now I want to up your price...I definitely think you are worth more than two hundred million dollars an hour" He smiled as my jaw dropped...He said what? How many million? I would have settled for twenty dollars an hour! How, crap...how much money did he _have_ just lying around if he could spend **two hundred million dollars an hour **on me?! We spent a lot of time together.

"Bella...love...earth to Bella...please, you are scaring me now" He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek snapping me out of my thought process.

"Sorry Edward...I just can't believe you think I'm worth that much" I shrugged, still shaking my head, trying to get it to visualise what that amount of money would even look like.

"Well Bella...let me ask you this...how much do you think I'm worth an hour?" He looked nervous. I answered instantly; I knew how much he was worth to me...even if I would never see that amount of money.

"Well I would have to take out a loan from you, but I would pay a billion dollars an hour for you...easily...but like you said...you are worth so much more to me than that number" I kept my eyes focused on the ground the entire time. After a few minutes of silence I quickly looked up to see Edward stunned, his mouth hanging open. Well this was a rare moment.

"Trying to catch some flies?" I asked quietly, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks. Why was he staring at me with incredulity?

'Bella...I can't believe you value my life that much...well rather my death...now I'm going to have to up my figure" He muttered.

"But don't you get it Edward? The higher you raise your figure for me, the higher I raise mine for you! I just think that you are worth at least quadruple what I am" I sighed exasperated.

"Bella, my beautiful naive Bella, will you never understand how much I value you?...how did we get on to this topic anyway?" He smiled at me caressing my face with his thumb.

"I have to go to work" I whispered quietly, hoping he wouldn't object. He instantly pulled out his cell and had it to his ear.

"Hi Mike, Its Edward...yes, nice to hear from you too...Mmmmm...no...no...Mike...Mike...NEWTON! Bella and I are still together...if you forgot I proposed!...No that's not why I called...LISTEN! Bella quits and she won't be in to work today or ever again no matter what you say goodbye" I watched in horror as his ten minute conversation unfolded all the while trying to snatch the phone from him. He simply had snaked an arm around my waist and was crushing me to his chest as he spoke kissing me on the nose every few seconds. I froze when he resigned for me.

"Edward" I snapped when he hung up. He winced slightly...good, he realised just how angry I was.

"Bella, I don't mind you having a job...well I do really because it cuts in on my time I get to spend with you! But I don't mind you having a job as long as it is _not _at the Newton's and you make a decent wage...please Bella" He had his puppy dog yes trained on mine.

"Edward" I groaned but at that moment we were interrupted.

"I"M HOME!" Emmett screamed form downstairs. What was he doing back?

"I ditched Rose cause she was shopping and now we can tear the house to shreds and I can play with Bella!" He screamed again...probably just so I could hear him. We abruptly heard a loud wack.

'Shit Esme!" Emmett cursed. Another wack resounded up the stairs. Edward shook his head sadly.

"It is sad how amazing Emmett is a stringing swear words together...truly amazing and these are just his thoughts...imagine the delivery" A big smile spread on my face. I knew how I was going to make money and get Emmett back for all the times he'd annoyed and embarrassed me.

"Bella" Edward asked curiously.

"I'm going to make me some money and I don't even have to leave the house or your side!" I exclaimed gleefully bounding off towards the stairs. Of course I tripped but Edward...my hero...saved me from my graceless fall and from injury once again.

"Bella, please be careful... I like you in one piece" Edward buried his head in my hair while wrapping his arms more securely around my waist.

"C'mon Edward...I'm going to be rich before the day is out" I laughed and Edward unwillingly pulled out of our embrace to carry me down the stairs. "I could have walked" I mumbled to myself.

"Yes but dear Eddiekins is such a prune that just holding and touching you gets him off" Emmett laughed as I blushed and Edward growled tightening his arms around me.

"Emmett" Edward growled louder.

"Put me down Edward...I got this one" I smiled as he frowned and slid my feet onto the floor. I stood up wobbly...my ribs still aching slightly.

"Oh I 'm so scared of the human" Emmett laughed at me again.

"How about I make you a bet Emmett?" I tried to hide my smile...and was succeeding for the most part. His eyes lit up with amusement as soon as I mentioned one of his favourite words. He nodded and began bouncing on the spot...sometimes I thought he could give Alice a run for her money.

"What are five things you can't go without Emmett?" I asked sweetly...hopefully he would fall for my act and list the one thing that could make me some easy money.

"Well...Rose" Smart move there buddy...too bad she wasn't around to here you grovelling! "And then I guess sex...swearing" Yes I had him now ha! "And well hunting of course and then the television" Emmett smiled fondly towards the plasma that took up a large section of the living room wall.

"Ok...Edward what are five things you can't go without?" I turned towards Edward praying he would play along. He just gave me a funny look before answering.

"You of course" Was all he said.

"Good Edward now list four more things" I encouraged.

"Why...you are all I need and want" I sighed, this was not going to be easy...sometimes I wished he could just read my mind.

"Because I can't go without you for the week now answer" He was so perfect I just wanted to kiss him right there but this was his fault.

"Fine...my piano...my Volvo...my cd's...hunting I guess" I smiled and nodded.

"Good...Emmett I bet you Edward can last the week without touching his Volvo and that you cant last it without swearing...if either of you break...you pay five dollars into this jar...it's called the Bella jar and all profits go to me! Do you accept Emmett?" I smiled sweetly at him...lolling him into a false sense of security.

"Yes there is no way Edward can resist his car!" Emmett punched his fist in the air.

"I don't no he sure seems to have a lot of patience...he has been waiting for me for all these years you know" I smiled...take that little stab Emmett.

"Hell bro you are so going down! You won't be able to last a day without your precious car!" Wow, Emmett sure thought a lot of himself...little did he know.

"Well Emmett...you already broke...pay up" I smirked.

"What?! What did I say?!" He was angry...i wonder.

"Edward is he swearing mentally?" I smiled fondly at Edward and watched as his crooked grin appeared. That was all the conformation I needed.

"How many words did he use?" I asked Edward eagerly.

"Hey! That's not fair! That's cheating!" Emmett screamed at us.

"Actually Emmett, it isn't. Bella said swearing...she didn't specify whether it had to be out loud or not" Edward smirked at Emmett.

"So what is his tally now?" I buzzed.

"Well...it's still increasing...um...one hundred and thirty...nope now it's two eighty...three ten!" Edward shouted I smiled.

"Wow Emmett you can really string them together...I think I'm going to need a swimming pool rather than a jar" I giggled.

"Oh, he stopped at three ninety. Sorry love but he only owes you 1950...better luck later" Edward kissed me on the lips as Emmett made gagging sounds. "Isn't this better than a job at Newton's?" He smiled at me. I sighed, relenting.

"I suppose so Edward...and to think I made all that money in approximately five minutes" Abruptly Edward frowned as Alice materialized.

"It's show time Bella" Alice smiled as the door opened to reveal...

**A/N: Ha I'm going to stop right here! I bet ya'll are angry right about now huh? Review my pretties otherwise I might just leave you hanging ;)**


	5. Dyeing

**Another chapter! Thanks for all the reviews they encourage me to write!**

**I dont own twilight!**

BPOV

"_It's show time Bella" Alice smiled as the door opened to reveal..._

...A very pissed Rose who was covered in some unidentifiable green goo. Edward and Alice exchanged glances. Rose looked ready to kill...luckily Emmet was closest to her and her war path. Edward still pulled me to his chest and protectively wrapped his arms around me again.

"Rose what happened to you?" Alice enquired, the amusement clear in her voice.

"Stop acting like you don't know!" Rose growled at Alice.

"Whatever are you talking about dearest sister?" Alice smiled innocently. Suddenly everything was a blur and I was in Edward's room. He had me crushed to his chest and we were standing in the corner furthest from the door which was barricaded with the couch, bed, dresser and various other pieces of furniture.

'So what happened to Rose to make her so mad?" I whispered as quietly as I could, hoping only Edward could hear me. He chuckled and kissed me on the head.

'Apparently some little humans were having something called a water bomb fight but their balloons were filled with green slime instead of water" Edward chuckled. Instantly Edward's door splintered, the furniture scattering around the room and I found myself slammed into the wall with Edward standing in front of me. Holy Crap. There was wood splintered into the wall right next to my head...that would have hurt. I peaked around Edward's body to see a still pissed Rose standing menacingly in the doorway.

"Rose, leave in the next five seconds or I WILL kill you for almost hurting Bella...and look what you've done to my ROOM!!" Edward sounded so angry and powerful...it was so...sexy. Probably bad news for Rose though and maybe I should be just a tad bit scared of her.

"I don't EVER want to hear either of you mention this _incident _again or there will be hell to pay Edward" Rose returned, not even bothering to acknowledge that she almost killed me for a second time today. I wonder if I would have another near death experience when she got out of the shower...

"Rose get out before I set you on fire!" Edward growled threateningly. Carlisle appeared instantly in between Rose and Edward.

"How?...What the!...Rose!...Edward!...Bella are you ok?" Carlisle looked around the room quickly to me sitting on the floor holding onto Edward's legs tightly. My back felt bruised and my ribs still hurt but other than that...

"I didn't get stabbed by any flying missiles no. Thank you for caring Carlisle." I mumbled. Carlisle exhaled in relief.

"Rose, that's two strikes today...one more and you're out for the rest of the week. You need to calm down...why has this got you so upset? It is NOT that big a deal...certainly not enough to TRY TO KILL BELLA AND DESTROY EDWARD'S ROOM!!" Wow I don't think I had ever seen Carlisle this mad.

"I'm really, really sorry Carlisle I don't know what came over me! When I came home I was a little bit upset and then I just felt blind with rage...and you know the rest" Rose looked like she was about to cry...again wow. "I'm so sorry Bella! Are you ok?" Edward cut her off.

"Don't you dare talk to her!" Edward growled again.

"EDWARD SHUT UP!" Why was Carlisle yelling...is he PMSing? I tightened my grip on Edward's legs as he visibly flinched away from Carlisle.

"Ok! Enough you all need to calm down your emotions are crazy...wait...that asshole...NATHANIEL!" I screamed as Edward, Rose and Carlisle stared down at me. A second later Nathaniel...I decided who was my own personal tormentor from hell...appeared.

"Something you want beautiful?" He smiled at me mockingly. Jackass.

"Nathaniel" Carlisle sighed rubbing his face. "If you don't stop screwing with my families emotions I'm going to have to ask you to leave...Bella could have died" Carlisle eyed his friend warily as Edward picked me off the floor and held me against his chest. He then began growling quietly at Nathaniel. I reached up and kissed Edward's lips chastely. He relaxed his grip on me slightly.

"Carlisle I think Rose should clean up my room" Edward stated calmly.

"Yes, that would be best, Rose..." I shut my eyes and opened them a few seconds later and Edward's room was spotless...except he didn't have any furniture or a door anymore.

"Alice" Edward called quietly, but loud enough for me to hear him. Alice flew into the room bouncing up and down. I watched in awe as Nathaniel smiled and Alice bounced right on up through the ceiling. I burst into laughter. Her head was stuck in the ceiling and the rest of her body was wiggling around. I continued laughing while everyone in the room stared from me to Alice who was cursing. Edward started chuckling and was soon followed my Rose and Nathaniel while Carlisle stood there shaking his head.

"Do you need a ladder Alice?" Carlisle asked his voice laced with boredom. We watched as Alice simply punched the ceiling and fell to the floor with a large chunk of plaster.

"No thanks I'm good...by the way Edward your new furniture should be here in an hour" And with that she danced out of the room.

"I'm going to go take a nice long shower" Rose exclaimed before evaporating out of the room. Carlisle nodded at Edward and I before grabbing Nathaniel's arm and dragging him out of the room. Talking quickly and quietly to him on the way out. Edward waited for a brief moment before crashing his lips onto mine.

"Mine...your all mine" Edward muttered against my lips before devouring them in another kiss. I tangled my hands in his hair and kissed him back in the same hungry manner. He broke off to let me breathe and continued trailing kisses down my neck and along my jaw line before capturing my lips again. We finally broke apart... I was gasping for breath as Edward ran his hands over my body.

"I'm sorry Bella" He smiled sadly at me not taking his hands off me.

"For what?" I asked bewildered; struggling to keep my thoughts together.

"For hurting you before...slamming you into the wall...it must have hurt and your already injured...I probably made your ribs ten times worse" He looked so depressed.

"I'm fine Edward...just a couple of bruises; nothing new...if you hadn't of moved me I would be skewered with bits of wood right now" I traced his jaw line slowly. His hand instantly shot out and grabbed mine...he then kissed my knuckles softly.

"I meant what I said" He whispered kissing my lips again lightly.

"About what?" I questioned as my mind fought to stay coherent.

"That your mine Bella and I won't ever let you go" Edward tilted my chin up so I had to gaze into his eyes.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear those words" I replied quietly. He leaned down and kissed me deeply.

RPOV

I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the steaming hot shower. I just wanted so bad to get this gooey crap off my skin...it was revolting. I picked up the bar of soap and started rubbing it onto my body. After around five minutes I had still failed to work up any lather. Frustrated and highly annoyed I grabbed Emmett's bottle of body wash and started cleaning myself. It smelt a bit funny but I just probably wasn't used to it. I rinsed off and grabbed my bottle of shampoo, pouring a healthy amount onto my head and working it in. I rinsed and conditioned before being satisfied that I was completely goo free.

Stepping out of the shower I dried off quickly and walked over to the mirror. I glanced at my reflection and screamed at the top of my lungs.

APOV

I smiled as I heard screaming from Rose and Emmett's bathroom. I can't believe Bella came up with that idea to torture Rose! As soon as I saw her plan, I ran out and got the supplies and just waited for Rose to leave. I had done exactly what Bella had wanted to do. I took some nail polish and coated Rose's bar of soap with it and dried it. That way she would be able to work up a lather. Next I grabbed Emmett's body wash and tipped its contents out, replacing it with bronze tanning lotion. Finally...and this was the icing on the cake...I poured electric blue hair dye into her shampoo container. Like I said...I can't believe Bella how much of a genius Bella is!

RPOV

My skin was ORANGE! And my hair was BLUE! I looked like some kind of weird human freak! Which one of my siblings would do this! They would pay!!

EPOV

I heard the scream from down the hall and reluctantly pulled my lips away from Bella's soft, warm inviting, luscious...maybe just one more kiss. I pulled back again and wrapped my arms around Bella's waist, supporting her weight but being sure to not add unnecessary pressure to her bruised ribs and back. She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder.

"C'mon love, let's go downstairs and get this over with" I kept one arm around her and walked her out of my bedroom and down the hall. Rose exited just as we were walking past. She only had a towel wrapped around her body and her hair was still wringing wet.

"God Rose please go put some clothes on I do NOT need to see my sister like that!" I averted my eyes from Rose and stared deeply into Bella's. Now Bella I wouldn't mind seeing like that...

"Edward! I'm blue and orange and you didn't even notice!" Rose screeched. I looked at her briefly and sure enough her skin was a funny orange colour and her hair was electric blue.

"Are you trying to make a statement or are you just rebelling against something?" I asked focusing my eyes back on Bella's eyes who were dancing in amusement.

"Don't act dumb Edward, you aren't fooling anybody...well maybe Bella but..." I burst out in laughter this was just too much even for me to take. She underestimated Bella so much! She would never in a million years realise that this was Bella's plan!

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" Rose yelled and Bella winced and shrunk against me. I rubbed her back soothingly. There was no way in hell I would let Rose hurt Bella again...even if she was decked out as a circus freak!

"Yes _MOM_" I sneered at her tone.

"Rosey what's wrong...oh" Emmett paused in front of Rose and looked her up and down. "Holy Shit" Was all he said as he stared at her blankly for a few minutes.

"Emmett you owe me five bucks" Bella quipped.

"Add it to my tab babe" Emmett replied still staring at Rose.

"EMMETT! You have a tab going with BELLA! And you called her BABE! And why do you owe her money? Did you do this to me Emmett?!" Rose was getting hysterical again. I was glad Bella wasn't like that...although I would love her anyway.

"Not me Rose my beautiful, stunning, sexy, drop dead gorgeous vampire! I made a bet with Bella about swearing! That's it I swear!" A smile hovered on Bella's lips...it was times like these I wished I could desperately see what she was thinking.

"Edward?" My own angel asked quietly "Does saying the word swear count as swearing do you think?" She smiled deviously.

"I'm sorry love, but I don't think so...sorry to disappoint" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Worth a try...and you _never_ disappoint Edward, trust me" She smiled sweetly but there was some unknown emotion in her eyes that was driving me wild. Perhaps it was lust...or passion...hmm...

"You two get a room for heaven's sake" Rose exclaimed as Bella blushed slightly

"We would but you destroyed it a few minutes ago" Bella pointed out, her blush only turning pinker. She really was becoming a bit more confident as time went on. I leaned in and kissed her lips softly, savouring their taste. My body was screaming out to her but I resisted the Bella magnet.

"Love, let's go down to the couch" I smiled at her and escorted her past a shocked Emmett and an angry Rose. I wonder how Rose will retaliate when she discovers it was Bella.

**REVIEW MY FAITHFUL REVIEWERS!! tell me what you think!**


	6. Kissing

**Ok so this chapter it's Edward and Bella's turn to fool Emmett and Jasper, so there is some MINOR SEXUAL THEMES...Bella and Edward just have a really good make out session.**

**Thanks for all the reviews...there will be a lot more humour next chapter although there is some subtle humor in this one.**

**Song later in the chapter - Madonna - Like a Virgin**

BPOV

Edward's intoxicating presence was driving me insane! I just wanted to kiss every inch of his body...I don't even know why I was feeling like this...besides the fact that I was madly in love with him... ugh! We made our way down the stairs to the couch and I instantly felt Edward's lips on mine. I sighed, content...until someone interrupted us by clearing their throat. What now? Edward kissed me one last time before pulling away slightly, resting his forehead against mine.

"Bella, you are the only person who can make me so distracted I lose track of time and I no longer hear other people's thoughts." Edward smiled at me lovingly.

"Glad to be of service" I giggled...forgetting there was still someone standing over us who was now tapping their foot impatiently.

"What is it now Rose?" Edward sighed without moving an inch or breaking my gaze.

"You did this didn't you Edward?" Rose shrieked, Edward sighed again and pulled away from me. I took the opportunity to stare at Rose. I was proud... I must say Alice had fulfilled my vision to the extreme.

"No Rose, I didn't" Edward spoke gently. It just seemed to infuriate Rose more.

"How do _I_ know that Edward?" She placed her hands on her hips and stared him down.

"Well, I haven't left Bella's side...how could I accomplish" Edward waved his hand up and down "all of this so quickly if I was with Bella?" So he was trying to reason with her...good luck with that Edward.

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." Rose stated smarmily. Great she was pissed again. "And who the hell else would have done it? And who would have these things just lying around the house?" She continued yelling at Edward. I was beginning to feel bad that he was coping all of Rosalie's wrath.

"Well obviously Rose, someone wanted some revenge" I stated confidently, although I was pretty sure if she figured it out I was a goner.

"But...I...who...BELLA?!" She screamed in my face. So now she goes and grows some brain cells. "How did you! How could you! You little insignificant human BITCH!" Rose was being particularly nasty but it was just because I had trumped her for once. Ha! I heard a growl tearing through Edward's chest. Oh right...I was going to need to calm him down. I kissed his neck softly and trailed up to his ear and back down again. I felt him shudder, take a deep breath and calm down considerably so I continued.

"Bella...love...Mmmmm...no...Bella...please don't stop...no stop...I'm mad at Rose" He mumbled tipping his head back so I could kiss him better. Wow, I really didn't think this would distract him this much...I just hoped Rose didn't...ugh too late. I was now encased in her stony grip.

"Ha Edward! Who has your human now!" She laughed...what kind of a retort was that? She wasn't even trying to get him back she was supposed to be mad at me. Blondes...

"Rose, I'm going to tell you some vital information" I started. Maybe if I told her it would fade completely in a wash or two...

"Shut up Bella I don't want to hear your grovelling" I shrugged, at least she wasn't hurting me.

"Suit yourself" I muttered. Edward had a smile on his face.

"Rose I suggest you listen to what Bella has to say" Edward was now standing directly in front of us, probably trying to figure out a way to get me out of Rose's grip before she did anything drastic...again.

"How would you know Edward? You can't read her retarded mind" She snapped. Great, here she goes with the cheap insults again. Thanks for destroying whatever was left of my small ego Rose! Suddenly I heard a click. Ha ha! Who had a camera? I looked up and found Alice standing there smiling evilly. Instantly I was dropped to the floor and the two girls took off like bats out of hell.

"Alice give me that camera!" I heard Rose scream. Edward scooped me off the floor and kissed me gently.

"No Rose! You were being a big Bitch to Bella just after you promised her you were going to be nice! Wait till I get these onto the internet!" I heard Alice's laugh and another click and saw them blur past.

"Well look what she did to me!" Rose screamed

"Actually Rose...Bella just wanted to dye you're hair brown and give you a light fake tan but it was actually_ I_ who decided you needed to be orange and blue! Just like the Denver Bronco's! I know you're into football Rose!" Alice laughed again. Thank god she had taken me off the hook. Rose suddenly appeared in front of me. Edward growled and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Sorry about calling you and insignificant human bitch Bella...and a retard...really sorry...you are definitely not" She apologised more to Edward than to me but I nodded anyway.

"Bella might forgive you Rose but I don't...you just lost your Bella privileges for the week" Edward stated coolly. To my surprise Rose actually looked downcast about this.

"I understand, sorry Edward, sorry Bella" She whispered staring at the ground. Carlisle walked into the room at that moment and burst into laughter.

"Rose...ha ha...I thought ...ha ha...Bella...human...outsmarted...Rose" He fell to the ground clutching his side from laughing so hard. We all just stared at him till he jumped up to his feet, straightened out his clothes and smoothly walked away. Suddenly Alice froze in front of us and a smile played on her lips as she turned to Edward. The same smile appeared on his lips.

"Bella, let's go for a walk" He spoke softly into my ear. I nodded then turned to Alice.

"Can you keep track on how many times Emmett swears please" Alice smiled widely and bounced off once again. I was in Edward's arms and out the door within seconds. Cradling me to his chest he ran, vampire speed into the forest. Snapping my eyes shut I hoped we weren't going too far. After a minute or so he slowed before coming to a stop. I opened my eyes and gasped. We were standing in a small clearing next to a waterfall. Where did Edward find these magical places? Edward slowly put me down so my feet touched the ground but I was still held against his chest. He bent down and kissed me, running his hand up and down my back lightly before pulling away.

"What am I going to do with you Bella?" He sighed smiling and staring into my eyes.

"That depends on what exactly I've done to get that statement out of you" I replied slowly. He chuckled and led me over to a boulder by the pool at the bottom of the waterfall and we sat down.

"You haven't done anything love...yet anyway" He kissed me briefly.

"Why are we out here Edward?" I asked glancing around at our heavenly surroundings.

"We are planning and plotting my dear, away from the others so they can't hear us" He answered kissing just below my ear.

"Uh...wh...what are we planning Edward" I managed, highly distracted. He sighed and put some distance between our bodies.

"Well love, you're not going to like it...well actually you might...what I mean is you're going to be embarrassed when I tell you" I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Just spit it out Edward" I mumbled.

"Well, when we get back Jasper is going to ask to spend time with you" At that my head snapped up.

"What...why...no...he winked at me this morning!" I shrieked. Edward's eyes darkened slightly but he made no comment.

"And I'm going to say yes...but he's spending time with you to embarrass me but you and I are going to turn the tables on him" Edward smiled at me reassuringly.

"Edward, there is only one thing that Jasper teases you about..." I trailed off and buried my face in my hands again. I felt Edward tug on me and he forced my face up and I had no choice but to look into his eyes. And boy were they smouldering.

"Please Bella...it will be only a little bit embarrassing and maybe it will get him off our case for a while" He looked so upset and was turning all his charm on. He's lucky I love him.

"Just tell me what I have to do" I groaned before he kissed me sweetly.

"You're the best Bella" He said excitedly. After ten minutes of Edward explaining and convincing me what I needed to do we ran back to the house...well Edward ran and I just sat in his arms. As soon as we were in the door Jasper materialised smiling. I was feeling nervous; there was no way I was going to be able to pull this off...no way.

"May I please spend some time with Bella, Edward?" Jasper asked politely. At least he didn't ask to play with the human...big step up from Emmett. Ten points to Jasper, Emmett nil.

"Ok but..." Too late Edward. Jasper already had me in his arms and in his and Alice's bedroom before any rules were laid down. Bummer...I was starting to get really nervous again...what if Jasper deviated from his original plan. I felt my panic and anxiety levels rising.

"Bella please relax, I'm not going to bite you or seduce you so just relax" Jasper was trying to calm me, and I could feel it taking effect. "I'm not going to hurt you" He stated

"Physically..." I muttered. He frowned at me but said nothing. I sat down on the couch carefully. He walked over to the stereo and hit play. "Here Bella, some music will sooth you" I froze when the song came on. I was not expecting this...uh oh...Jasper had deviated...I guess I just had to try to stick to the plan...seducing Edward. When it got to the chorus I felt my cheeks burn.

_Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin  
When your heart beats (after first time, with your heartbeat)  
Next to mine_

Just then the plan went into action. Edward burst into the room and looked furious, he instantly swept me up into his arms and kissed me fiercely. Mmmmm this was nice...the plan Bella, focus. I slowly pushed Edward back down onto the couch without breaking our kiss. Then I did something unexpected to even me...I sat on Edward's lap, straddling him. He didn't even seem upset...more like he enjoyed it. In fact he slowly lowered his hand to the small of my back, just above my ass and pulled me closer to him. I needed to breathe so I broke the kiss and he started kissing my neck. I started singing the lyrics to him.

"_Gonna give you all my love, boy, My fear is fading fast, Been saving it all for you, Cause only love can last" _ I kind of felt it was sad that I knew the words to this song but then Edward started singing the next verse and it was my turn to trail kisses up and down his neck.

"_You're so fine and you're mine, Make me strong, yeah you make me bold, Oh your love thawed out, Yeah, your love thawed out, What was scared and cold"_ It was almost comical to hear Edward singing a Madonna song but he pulled it off sounding sexy. Just then I bit his ear and he moaned my name softly. God, why couldn't we have started this when we were alone and not just trying to freak out Jasper? Suddenly Edward's lips found mine again. He started running his hands up and down my leg. I wonder why Jasper hadn't said anything...

"OK! That's it, this is not right! I've had it with all this lust!" Jasper shrieked. Bingo. I stopped kissing Edward and tried to get off his lap but he held me in place smiling.

"What's wrong Jasper?" Edward asked brushing some hair out of my face and kissing me softly on the cheek.

"Alice told me not to embarrass Bella and the one time I refuse to listen to her...ugh...never bet against Alice...God you two are worse than Emmett and Rosalie! Edward I never thought...well... and Bella...I guess this proves you're not as prudish as we thought Edward" Jasper was shouting at us now and I heard the door swing open. I watched Edward's face, instead of turning around and just embarrassing myself. Edward seemed highly amused and was trying not to laugh. He leaned forward and captured my lips again.

"Alice is my furniture and door here yet?" Edward asked staring me in the eyes.

"Ye...yeah...I already set everything up" I heard her voice...it sounded stunned...I thought she saw this coming...maybe she was just acting.

"C'mon love let's continue this upstairs...privately" Edward kissed my lips again and ran us out of the room at vampire speed. He gently sat me down on the couch after slamming the door behind him and placed a finger over my lips as he cocked his head and began silently laughing. I'm glad he was enjoying the show...maybe Emmett and Jasper would finally leave him alone now. Suddenly he looked livid then pulled a pen and pad out of nowhere and began writing. Suddenly he flashed it at me.

_Bella, you trust me right..._ I nodded at him then continued reading. _We are going to go take a shower fully clothed together ok?_ I raised an eyebrow at him but slowly nodded. He flashed a grin and within seconds was kissing me again. He pulled away and wrote on the note pad.

_Follow my lead...please don't feel too embarrassed or angry at me_. I smiled at him reassuringly and his lips found mine again. He started pulling us towards the bathroom and shut the door behind us. Edward broke the kiss and reached in and turned on the shower as I trailed kisses up his neck. He winked at me, indicating he was about to do something embarrassing.

"Oh God Bella" He moaned softly before kissing me softly again. I could feel the smile on his lips...we must be stirring up a riot downstairs. Edward pulled out the paper again and wrote me another note.

_Are you ok with this? It's fooling everyone downstairs...even Alice. Do you want me to stop?_ I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly again.

"I trust you Edward" I murmured and tried not to laugh as he clutched his side, holding back his own laughter to the reaction that must have gotten downstairs. Abruptly the bathroom door flew open and Alice stood there glaring at us as we both burst into laughter. Edward grabbed onto me as he fell to the floor laughing.

"Get up you two! You are driving Jasper insane feeling lust and passion and love and then amusement!" Alice lectured as Edward pulled us both to our feet. He kissed me passionately then turned off the water in the shower.

"Thank you Bella" Edward murmured in my ear. Suddenly Rose burst into the bathroom.

"You did NOT just thank Bella for that you pig!" She had her eyes closed and a hand over her face. I started giggling and Edward was soon laughing again.

"Why are you two laughing" She demanded angrily. Edward wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to his side.

"Open your eyes Rosalie" Alice stated flatly. Rose slowly peeked through her fingers then dropped her hand and her jaw wide open.

"WH...wha..huh" Was all that escaped from her lips.

"C'mon Bella let's get you decent" Edward kissed my neck and pulled me out of the bathroom. "We just can't seem to get a moment's privacy in this house." He was still putting on a show for Emmett and Jasper. I laughed again as he led us into his closet and closed the door. I rested on his chest and felt it shake with silent laughter. I had never seen Edward have so much fun and I was glad to see him so happy.

"Here Bella, let me help you put on one of my shirts" The light was on in the closet so I could see the smile on his face. He pulled a button up shirt off a hanger and carefully put it on me, slowly doing up the buttons. His lips found mine again and he softly kissed me. He then intertwined our hands and led us out of the closet, past Rose and Alice who were frowning and downstairs past Emmett and Jasper who were just standing there with their mouths open. I felt the blush rise on my cheeks and Edward noticed. He stopped and ran a hand across my cheeks.

"We'll be back later" Edward spoke to Emmett and Jasper who just nodded. Edward then picked me up and ran us out into the forest.

**Review!! Too intense? I did warn you...lol... Edward was laughing yay!!**


	7. Fishing

**Ok so this chapter isn't as funny...well it was to me but that was just because i got the dark humour. Oh well, it will be funnier next chapter promise!**

**REVIEW if ya love it or hate it!**

**DON"T OWN IT!!**

JPOV

_What the hell just happened here? Did Bella and Edward just prank us?!_

EMPOV

_Finally Edward is getting some...maybe he won't be so polite and proper any more...maybe he'll dance to the spice girls with me!_

RPOV

_Did they or didn't they have sex? They were fully clothed when I came in...but Edward thanked her, why? They were sure acting happy!_

BPOV

Edward set me down in our meadow and burst into laughter, falling to the ground next to me. I grabbed his hand in mine and waited for his amusement to die down.

"I'm glad you're having fun Edward...I never get to see you laugh like this" I whispered closing my eyes. I felt Edward go motionless beside me. I opened my eyes and he was leaning over me.

"What do you mean?" He looked socked.

"This is the first time I've really seen you laugh" I admitted, instantly feeling stupid for even bringing it up. "Just forget I said anything" I added quickly, turning my head away from him.

"I laugh around you all the time" He was instantly at my other side staring into my eyes.

"Well, you chuckle or smile but not...never mind Edward it's silly, I'm sorry I spoke my thoughts" I closed my eyes again.

"Bella, please..." Edward sounded so downcast. I opened my eyes and found him sitting up straight staring off into the distance. "I love to know what you're thinking, don't ever apologize for that, you should be able to tell me anything and everything...i want to know everything..._I'm _sorry I forced you to do something you didn't want to...I can't believe you've never seen me laugh" He finished gloomily, back to his old self so quickly.

"Edward, what exactly is it you forced me to do?" I sat up next to him and intertwined our hands.

"Kissing and making out on the couch and in the bathroom, feeling you up...and embarrassing you in front of everyone" He hung his head.

"Did you hear me complaining Edward? I will do anything for you..._especially_ to see you laugh again or to get Emmett and Jasper off your case." I smiled sheepishly at him. "I actually enjoyed it...a lot...and I'm always embarrassed Edward. I would do it all over again in an instant" I squeezed his hand gently although he probably didn't feel it at all. He turned his head and captured my lips.

"I love you Bella, thank you" he smiled again, staring at me.

"I love you too and I was happy to help" He kissed me again.

"Why weren't you laughing as much as me Bella?" Edward questioned suddenly. I sighed, he wasn't going to like my answer.

"My ribs still hurt Edward, especially when I laugh too hard" I answered truthfully.

"Sorry Bella, how inconsiderate of me, I forgot, are you ok love?" He ran his hands lightly over my ribs, his cool hands soothing me slightly.

"I'm fine Edward...Promise me something?" I asked quietly.

"Anything Bella" He seemed eager.

"You see this is where you could get yourself into trouble..." I smiled at him as he chuckled again. "Just...just promise me you will try to have fun more often...I enjoy seeing you happy and laughing" His lips brushed against mine so quickly I thought I imagined it.

"I promise Bella...I'm always happy with you and I will try to laugh more often" Unfortunately my stomach growled...ruining the moment.

"I think I put your growl to shame Edward?" I teased lightly and heard his beautiful laugh...and it didn't even sound forced.

"My silly Bella, time to feed the human I suppose?" I nodded and he helped me up onto his back as we raced back to the house.

EPOV

We arrived back at the house just as Bella's stomach emitted another monster growl. I chuckled, sliding her off my back as we walked into the house. We were suddenly surrounded by my family.

"What's wrong Edward?"

"Why are you growling?" A variety of questions flew at us. I burst into laughter, a full blown fit...poor Bella this was really an embarrassing moment. I took and unnecessary deep breath and straightened up to witness Bella's bright red face and my family staring at me like I was insane.

"That...ha ha...wasn't...it was...ha ha" I couldn't get it out. Bella's stomach must have thought it was time for a demonstration because it roared again. All of my family's eyes snapped to Bella before laughter echoed around us. Bella was turning redder...if that was possible.

"Ok enough!" I shouted with a smile on my lips as I dragged Bella to the kitchen sitting her down on a stool.

"What would you like Bella?" I enquired sweetly.

"Sure...laugh at the poor defenceless human who can't control her bodily functions" Bella muttered quietly even by my standards, I had to strain to hear her.

"What was that Bella?" Alice asked, sitting down next to Bella, staring blatantly at her stomach. _Three...two...one...stomach growl is go!_ I heard Alice think and turned to Bella. Sure enough, timed right to the tee, her stomach growled.

"I think we should feed her before she decided to eat _US!_" Emmett laughed walking over to where I was standing next to the fridge. "What are we cooking?" He continued excitedly.

"That's up to Bella, Emmett" I replied coolly, trying not to laugh at my poor Bella's expense again. "Bella, love what would you like me to make?" I turned my eyes to Bella.

"NOOOOOO!" Esme shrieked entering the room. Ok that was weird.

'What's wrong Esme?" Bella asked, frightened.

"I wanted to cook you lunch!" Esme explained, sounding saner this time.

"You still can" I remarked happily flashing to Bella's side, helping her stand. 'We'll be in my room" I clarified but then Emmett huffed.

"I wanted to make Bella lunch" Emmett whined.

"You and Esme can both work together Emmett" Rose delegated. Both Esme and Emmett bowed their heads.

"Well love, what do you feel like eating?" I breathed into her ear, watching delighted as she blushed.

"I feel like battered fish, but if it's too much trouble..." Emmett cut her off.

"Yeah! That sounds like fun, what do you think Esme?" Emmett was practically levitating with excitement. I led Bella out of the room, leaving Esme and Emmett to figure out Bella's strange request.

BPOV

Edward and I were just sitting in his room, listening to music when I heard banging coming from what I was sure was the kitchen. Uh oh. I asked for a really simple meal...what were they doing? I must have looked worried because Edward was suddenly all over me.

"What's wrong Bella, my love?" He demanded.

"What's going on downstairs?" I enquired slowly.

'Emmett's battering your fish" Edward shrugged, bemused at my expression. I instantly jumped off the couch and headed toward the door. Of course Edward intercepted me, picked me up and ran us down to the kitchen. I gasped at what I saw.

"Emmett what the hell are you doing?" I shrieked looking from him to the fish to the baseball bat that Emmett was pounding the poor fish, scales and all, with.

"Making you battered fish" He stated.

"Are you really going to eat that Bella? I've never seen a human eat anything like that before" Edward had his nose wrinkled and he looked like he was about to throw up.

"Of course humans don't eat that! Why would anyone eat a pulverised fish?" I slumped into a chair and put my head in my hands.

"Can't trust a vampire to cook anything" I muttered.

"See Emmett, like I said, Bella wanted it cooked in batter not battered" Esme chastised clicking her tongue.

"What am I going to do with you Emmett?" I wondered raising my head up out of my hands while Edward rubbed my back soothingly. Emmett stood there sheepishly swinging the bat around.

"Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm kind of relieved Bella doesn't want to eat that" Jasper spoke up from the corner of the room. Instantly Emmett broke out in laughter and the rest of us cracked a grin. Ah Jasper...always the one to lighten the mood. I smiled meekly at him and muttered a thank you.

"If you all don't mind, I would really like to make myself some edible lunch...I haven't eaten a decent meal in a couple of days" I stood up and shoved my hands in my pocket, not meeting Edward's eyes. It wasn't my fault I completely lost my appetite when he was away. Everyone silently slinked out of the kitchen...except for Edward. I could feel his eyes watching me, but I refused to meet his.

"Bella..." I heard his velvet voice echo near my ear and felt his hand on my chin, tilting it up. I closed my eyes shut. "Please look at me Bella" He sounded sad so, I, unable to refuse him, slowly peeled one eye open and then both when I noticed he was frowning. This isn't good.

"Yes Edward" I breathed.

"Why haven't you been eating?" He now sounded angry. I gulped audibly.

"I...um...ugh! I lose my appetite when you go away ok! Because I get so anxious about you and worry that you'll get hurt or that you won't...never mind" I huffed out quickly closing my eyes shut again. "And it's not like I didn't eat anything...I still ate, just not very much" I spoke softly now, my frustration abating.

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" He whispered in my ear.

"Because it's silly and you have to go hunt" I returned.

"Not about that, that I understand, I feel the same way, well not exactly but...I meant, today...why didn't you tell me you were hungry?" He traced my face with his fingers lightly. His voice was gentle so I slowly opened my eyes. His were inches from my face and smouldering once again.

"Honestly?" I muttered, staring into his deep topaz pools. **(How corny does that sound!)**

"Please Bella..." He kissed my jaw lightly and continued to stare back into my eyes.

"Because you and you're family make me uncomfortable...it is really hard to eat around a bunch of inhumanly perfect people without feeling a little self conscious. And, you all stare at me like I'm some kind of freak! It's just awkward and it makes me feel..." I trailed off, feeling like I'd upset him enough by these words.

"You feel what Bella?" Edward pressed, concern and understanding in his eyes. I sighed deeply.

"I feel fat. There I said it. You all make me feel fat" I met Edward's eyes again but they were dancing in amusement, not anger as I had expected. **1**

"No wonder I can't read your mind! Where do you come up with this Bella?" He was now laughing his head off and gripping the counter to keep from falling over. I felt the tears build up in my eyes.

"I am never telling you anything again Edward Anthony Masen!" And I brushed past him and out of the kitchen. Of course he caught me before I had even made it half way to the stairs. He now looked remorseful and I was sure he would be crying if he could. Damn it! Why did I always have to go and bring him pain? I cast my eyes to the floor, the tears now falling freely onto my cheeks. His arms wrapped around my waist, but I resisted melting into his chest.

"Be...Bella please...you...can't...no...talk to me please Bella" His voice was laced with anguish.

"Edward I just told you I feel fat and insecure about myself and you started laughing at me and telling me my mind is screwed up." I choked out between sobs.

"Oh Bella. I'm sorry. Please forgive me Bella. I'm so sorry." He murmured and started kissing the tears off my cheek as they fell. I tried to push him away but failed. "How can you possible believe that? You are so beautiful and there isn't an ounce of fat on your gorgeous body! Bella, please, that statement you made was just so ridiculous...I can't even comprehend...I don't understand, you're not fat. Please tell me, make me understand" He ran his hand over my cheek and cupped my face. Begging me to tell him, to let him in...I instantly hated myself for being so cruel to him.

"I'm sorry Edward" I mumbled and leaned my head on his chest, hugging myself to him tightly.

"Bella...tell me what you're thinking...please...this is torture Bella, worse, say something. I just want to hear your soothing voice" He sighed into my hair. We were both latching onto each other...afraid what would happen if we let go. **2.**

"I'm sorry Edward...I didn't mean it, I promise I'll always tell you everything...please don't be mad at me" I started sobbing uncontrollably. Have I always been this...emotional?

"Bella, shhhhh, its ok, of course I'm not mad. I love you, please stop crying, I hate seeing you upset" He kissed my neck softly and held me tighter to him. "You believe me don't you? You're not fat, you have an absolutely stunning body...sublime" He comforted, the truth in his voice resounding.

"I believe you Edward, I love you to." I pulled back and we stared into each other's eyes for a moment.

"Ha ha ha! We got you again suckers!" Nathaniel and Jasper were high fiving and burst into hysterics. I snapped my head to them feeling my anger rise. "That's for sending all that lust out before!" Jasper continued.

"You BASTARDS!" I shrieked.

"I knew the tag team effort would work!" Nathaniel laughed. I heard Edward growling but I didn't want to let him go yet...I knew I really did feel some of those things deep down...I was insecure.

"Edward please...don't" I breathed quietly, trying to calm myself and him down before we did a little tag team effort of our own. If I could I would rip them to pieces. He still heard me over the growling and the laughter. He looked down at me; my hands were clinging to his shirt.

"I'll kill you two assholes later" He snarled before kissing me and running me up to his room.

RPOV

_Hey EDWARD! I hope you can hear me! You are an idiot! What kind of numbskull laughs at his girlfriend...no his FIANCEE, after she tells him she feels fat! If you had of done that to me I would have slapped your face, kicked your balls and run you over with Emmett's jeep for weeks! You're lucky Bella's so forgiving! Insensitive Jackass! __**3.**_

EMPOV

_Edward that was not cool. You hurt Bella's feelings. Not cool._

APOV

_I told Carlisle to get Nathaniel out of the house but did he listen to me? Nooooo...never bet against THE ALICE!! Ha ha ha!_

_Edward, if you're listening, you need to make Bella believe and see what you see. She really is insecure...not THAT insecure as we just witnessed but a little bit deep down she is. I will have a little talk, cough – withholding sex, with my dear, cough, sweet husband. _

CPOV

_Well that's three strikes for Nathaniel...he's out. That was actually really cruel what he just did to Bella and Edward. Asshole, I give him a beating for Edward as I kick him out._

EPOV

I groaned quietly as the thoughts of my family echoed through my mind. Bella was curled up in my lap, she seemed fine now...I think, really angry though, wow, and I thought she was going to tear Nathaniel apart.

"Edward, I really am sorry, I don't know...well actually I do know what came over me but it doesn't really bother me if I'm not as pretty as Rose. I will never be, I'm sorry I went all emotional on you" Bella was shaking her head in disgust. I ran my hand through her hair softly.

"But you are Bella, to me you are more beautiful than Alice and Rose put together! I laughed at you...I'm the one who should be begging for your forgiveness and eternally in your debt" I captured her lips with mine, trying to portray my desire for her. She had to pull back first gasping for air.

"I believe you Edward" I sighed in relief, she sounded sincere. "But, um, can you do me a favour?" She sounded nervous, uh oh, what's wrong now? "Could you perhaps get me something to eat?" She whispered. I saw a smile spread across her face and we both started laughing our heads off.

"Sure thing Bella...I take it the battered fish is out?" I winked at her as she giggled some more.

**1. Bella is usually self conscious about her beauty...or lack of in her mind... so i thought i'd take it to the next level if you will. No offense intended.**

**2. I sometimes find it amusing how needy they both can be...just trying to demonstate it.**

**3. I thought it was funny that Rose was all sensitve about bella's issues when she's usually hating on her. **

**DONT WORRY IF YOU DONT GET WHY I FOUND IT FUNNY...i have weird humour but next chapter i will revert to classic humor...pranks and what not... REVIEW**


	8. Shopping

**Sooooo sorry for not updating sooner...i only have one more exam and then i have a month holidays!!**

**Thanks for all the support and reviews.**

**The story behind this chapter is i spent 40min in line at the supermarket today, there was that many people...it really annoyed me but gave me inspiration!**

**I dont own the twilight characters**

BPOV

So Jasper and Nathaniel thought they could pull one over on Edward and I. Too bad Carlisle kicked Nathaniel out...oh well, I'll just get him back next time. I shuddered; thinking about the next time he would visit. That day would come too soon.

"Bella, love...we have a small problem" Edward was standing in the doorway warily...he looked kind of scared...that could only mean...

"There's no food?!" I groaned quietly as Edward nodded slowly. "Ugh! Well let's go then" I groaned standing up from the couch.

"Go where love?" He seemed confused...he looked so adorable.

"To the supermarket Edward...what did you expect me to eat all week?" I couldn't understand how Vampires who spent their daily lives with humans could be so oblivious to the important facts. One, humans eat, two, humans sleep, three men only have one thing on their mind...and women have shopping. Well I guess the last point could relate to vampires as well.

"Ok, do you need to make a list or something?" Edward appeared to be lost. Wow, something he wasn't good at!

"Well, let's go down to the kitchen so I can take inventory and then we will go from there" I kissed his pouted lips as I slipped past him out the door. I instantly felt his arm around my waist and he placed a kiss on my temple.

"Eager are we love?" He chuckled...my stomach growled in response.

"No, hungry" He chuckled again, this time at my serious tone, picked me up and ran down the stairs. He sat me on my feet.

"I'll be right back Bella, Alice is summoning me" He quickly kissed my lips before disappearing. I looked around the empty living room and sighed before making my way to the kitchen. As I walked along I noticed a hundred dollar bill staring up at me. Which one of these careless vampires left this much money lying around? Well I guess to them it's just spare change, but maybe one of them is missing it. As I bent down to pick it up, I heard the unmistakable sound of my pants tearing. I gulped and blushed bright red...thank goodness no-one was around to see that! As I straightened up, I heard laughing. I looked up, surprised to see none other than Esme! She was holding a piece of cloth in her hand that she had just ripped and a camera. Shocked, I opened my mouth to say something but no words would come out...my blush deepened.

"Ha Bella! I just pulled a prank on you! Yes victory is mine! Now you will never mess with my house again. Ha ha ha!" I watched as she did a little happy dance. Wow, I had never seen this side to Esme before...it was kind of brutal. Payback is desired.

"Esme, just because you don't like my clothes doesn't mean you have to go around ripping them to shreds...not even Alice does that" I summoned my tears forth and I felt one trickle down my cheek.

"Wh..what? Why are you crying Bella?" I had her now...I wonder if Edward heard that...if he did he would be down here in...yep there's his hand on my cheek.

"Bella please, what's wrong?" Edward kissed my cheeks and crushed me to his chest as he turned to face Esme.

"Mother...what...why...cruel" Edward murmured between reading her thoughts I presumed.

"But Edward...I didn't rip any of her clothes up" Esme muttered, confusion on her face.

"I was just trying to be nice...I mean if I lost 100 bucks I know I would miss it...I just wanted to return it...why are embarrassing things always happening to me?" I sobbed into Edward's shirt. It was really easy to cry when you were embarrassed.

"Of course love, don't worry...Esme was just trying to have a laugh...it was just a prank" Edward soothed, but I felt him glaring at Esme. Ok, I guess I had upset them both enough.

"Oh, ok then...sorry I overreacted Esme, Edward" I wiped my face and sauntered off towards the kitchen like nothing had happened.

"Is it her time of month?" Esme asked rather loudly...well just loud enough for me to hear. I felt my traitor blush return to my cheeks.

"Esme really!" I heard Edward exasperate before I felt his hands on my waist as I stood in front of the open fridge. Edward was right, there was nothing to eat, just one apple and a jar of peanut butter, yum.

"Should I even dare to look in the cupboards?" I asked turning my face towards Edward. He surprised me by bending down and crushing his lips against mine. I reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. He pulled back just as I was running out of air. I took a deep breath as he chuckled, kissing my neck and pulling me closer to him.

"C'mon love, let's go shopping" Edward took a step backwards for both of us and closed the fridge door. Alice materialised beside us.

"Did I hear you mention shopping?" She bounced up and down...you think she would have learned from earlier. Oh well.

"Grocery shopping only Alice" I sighed and she began to look disappointed. Her face went blank for a second and then a smile spread over her face.

"Have fun!" She squealed before running away.

"What was her vision about?" I wondered to Edward. His face was scrunched up and he had pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know...she's singing _I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves_ in more than one language" I turned around to face him, pulling his hand away from his face and into mine. I slowly kissed a trail along his jaw line. I felt him relax.

"Better love?" I enquired softly. He pulled me to him for a quick kiss.

"Much, thank you" He whispered against my lips. "Let's go" He added. I nodded in response. Soon we were in the car and on our way.

EPOV

I hadn't been grocery shopping in a while...in fact it had been decades. I watched as Bella carefully wrote out a list on our way there. At least she seemed to know what she was doing.

"Oh shoot!" She exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" I asked, once again frustrated that I couldn't read her mind.

"I forgot my wallet...turn around let's go back and get it" She was serious. I wonder if she would ever get over the fact that I could buy and pay for anything she ever wanted...dreamed.

"Bella, don't worry about it" I stated calmly.

"But...how can I not worry...it has all my money in it! What will I use to pay for the groceries" I chuckled...she was so cute when she was perplexed.

"Bella love, I have money, no need to fret" I explained slowly. Instantly her face contorted to a frown...she was still so damn attractive.

"Edward, you always pay for everything...you don't even eat! Why should I let you pay for _my_ groceries?" Bella would always fight this...how could I persuade her?

"You're my fiancé, what's mine is yours...plus I'm the man in the relationship, aren't I supposed to provide for my family?" I asked, batting my eyelashes slightly, I hated dazzling her to just get my way, but desperate times... I watched as tears welled up in her eyes...uh oh...no no no! I made her upset again! How? What did I say this time?

"Family?" She snuffled. Awww, didn't she get it yet...she was my life, my everything, my family now.

"Of course love...you are my family" She smiled at me brightly.

"Fine, you can pay just this once" I chuckled at her and kissed her finger that held her engagement ring.

"Thank you love" I watched as she shyly admired her ring. I loved that she no longer cringed every time someone mentioned the wedding...in fact she actually seemed excited about it.

"Still having doubts Bella?" I pondered quietly. She looked up at me in shock.

"No, I was thinking about how much I can't wait to be Mrs Cullen, or would you rather Mrs Masen? Either way, I'm thrilled" I felt a big grin spread across my face as I pulled swiftly into a car park and dragged her into my lap, showering her in kisses. I loved this woman and she was mine forever.

BPOV

Edward was driving me crazy with all of these butterfly kisses. I pulled back slightly before catching his lips with mine. He pulled back and smiled sheepishly at me.

"What was that all about Mr Cullen?" I asked laughing lightly.

"That was the first time you've ever said you _want _to be Mrs Cullen and expressed actual excitement about our wedding" He continued to smile, but I could see a touch of sadness in his eyes. My poor future husband...I had caused him pain.

"Of course I want to be Mrs Cullen...and I was just nervous at first Edward, I'm sorry...I really do desire to marry you...I crave it, in fact, as each day goes on I just wish it would hurry up and be here so I could officially belong to you for eternity." I murmured brushing his hair out of his face. He caught my wrist and pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. I again, had to break the kiss first to breathe.

"I love you Bella" He whispered, resting his head against mine.

"I love you too" I returned. We were abruptly disturbed by a knock on the window. It was Mike, great...not. I made a move to open the door but Edward restrained me in his lap, holding my very close to him and just rolled down the window.

"Can we help you Newton?" Edward questioned calmly, although I could see the anger flash in his eyes. Oh god...what was Mike thinking about me now?!

"Uh...um...no-yes! Um...Bella, I need to talk to Bella" He stuttered out his eyes darting between me and Edward. Edward sighed heavily before kissing me slowly on the lips, then on the knuckle above my ring before allowing me to step out of the car. I pulled him out with me, if he was marking his territory he could just stick with it.

"Mike, anything you have to say to me, you can say to my future husband" There that should put Edward at ease. I felt his arm around my shoulders and I leaned towards him.

"Uh...well Bella, you may not know that Edward resigned for..." I cut him off right there.

"Of course I know" I snorted. Mike looked disbelieving.

"He resigned for you?" He reiterated. I nodded. "And you're ok with that? He's not forcing you into doing something you don't want to is he? Bella, you know you can trust me right, if Edward is pressuring you" I can't believe this imbecile. Edward was standing frozen next to me.

"MIKE!" I shouted, before turning and swiftly kissing Edward's cheek, he softened up a little but his eyes were black with fury. I focused all my attention on calming him down.

"Edward, love" I whispered, kissing his neck softly, then his jaw and his cheek again. His eyes lightened and his gaze shifted to my eyes before his turned back to topaz.

"Ugh guys! I'm standing right here" Mike complained. It's his own fault. I continued to hold Edward's gaze.

"Mike, I love Edward, he loves me. We have a very open relationship with each other, we are honest, we know all of each others' secrets and Edward in no way, shape or form does anything you are so rudely implying." Edward smiled weakly at me, but was soon again distracted by Mike, his eyes staying a light shade though...thankfully.

"Bella, you are just saying that because he's standing there" Mike, the idiot, continued. I flickered my eyes back to Edward's, he looked ready to kill Mike again.

"Are you calling my fiancé a liar?" Edward all but growled at Mike. Mike took a large step back and began furiously shaking his head.

"N...No sir... Cullen... no sir" Mike stammered quickly. Edward chuckled.

"Good, otherwise..." I slapped Edward's chest hard...ouch my hand...ouch! Ouch! ouch! Edward grabbed my hand between two of his cool hands and kissed it softly.

"Now Newton, we have an understanding, leave us in peace" Edward ordered. Mike nodded and stumbled away. Edward brought my sore hand to his lips again.

"I'm sorry Bella" Edward murmured while tenderly caressing my hand...probably looking for fractures. "And thank you" He kissed my hand once more before intertwining it with his and leading us into the supermarket.

"What are you sorry for? And why are you thanking me?" I queried softly as he grabbed a trolley, driving with me inside his arms.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper and hurting your hand and I'm thankful that you calmed me down" Edward started off down the first aisle.

"It's not your fault Edward, don't blame yourself" I replied. As we shopped, I pointed and he grabbed...it was a very effective system.

EPOV

Humans ate some really weird things. I mean look in that person's trolley, jarred fish eyes...spam, come on people what are you thinking? Oh, right..._put they eyes on the spam and eat them both up_...ok, I guess those thoughts...nope still doesn't justify it. Maybe I should help some of these poor lost humans out. Bella obviously has the right idea...her food at least looks edible, I'll just grab two of whatever she gets and put the second in nearby disaster trolleys when the humans aren't looking. Ok carton of eggs, right, one for Bella, one for trolley with a pig's brain. What's next...Bella's pointing to a box of cereal, right, Lucky charms for Bella, and Lucky Charms for trolley with frogs legs...you can buy them? I continued doing this for a while until Bella stopped and turned around to look at me.

"Edward...why do you keep putting my things in other people's trolleys?" Bella frowned...whoops I was just helping.

"But look Bella, they all need serious help, they aren't nearly as good at this as you are! You stick to the rules of the food pyramid, _they_, don't...spam...ugh its discussing" I wrinkled my nose involuntarily. Bella laughed and placed a calming hand on my cheek.

"Edward, I'm flattered you think so highly of me but they don't need your help, in fact they will probably get to the check out and think some punk is trying to mess with them! Some humans actually like to eat unappetizing food, hard as that is to comprehend" She smiled at me sweetly. I kissed her quickly.

"Sorry for embarrassing you love" I whispered in her ear and was rewarded with a beautiful giggle.

"Don't be silly Edward, it was quite entertaining" She smiled and turned back around as I placed my hands either side of her waist and propelled the trolley forward. We had stopped in the fruit and veg section when Newton approached us again. Was this idiot ever going to take a hint! Bella was mine!

MPOV

_I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, big ones, big ones, I want to show them both to Bella...Why is Cullen looking at me like he wants to kill me? Crap...ugh...great now Bella's touching him and kissing him just to calm him down...Why is he smirking at me now! Right, like I couldn't get Bella if I really wanted Cullen! If he laughing at me! Asshole... I'll show him._

"Hello again Bella? Can I help you with anything? Feel your melons maybe?" I asked politely. Uh oh...Edward saw through my innocent facade. Crap!

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY FIANCE!" Edward growled at me loudly. Uh...umm

"No..nothing...I" I watched as Bella pushed Edward behind her and walked over to me. She paused right in front of my face.

"How dare you!" And Bella slapped me right across the face, hard. It brought tears to my eyes. My instant reflex was to hit her back but Cullen grabbed my hand before it had even reached halfway to Bella. How did he get here so fast? Wasn't he just standing over there? He should learn to control his bitch...ow ow ow!

"He's crushing my hand!" I cried, screaming like a girl. If I had Bella, she would be much better behaved in public. Ow! He just tightened his grip. The pain!!

"Edward" Bella called softly and he instantly released me from his stony grip before sweeping Bella into his arms before they walked off.

"So you don't want to see my coconuts?" I cried hopelessly after them.

"YOU LITTLE ASS! I"M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Edward snapped. He paused mid stride when Bella grabbed his arm.

"Please Edward, he's not worth it, I love you" She spoke to him softly. That should be me! I should have the girl and her love! Not him...he's so damn lucky.

"You're right Bella, I love you too" Edward smiled at me smarmily before kissing Bella and leading her to the nearest checkout. Well I could always try again tomorrow...perhaps I should go to the hospital and get someone to look at my hand...it's numb with pain. Ow...ow...ow.

**REVIEW!! How funny and desperate is Mike? No his hands not broken, its just bruised, a lot.**


	9. Fighting

**Ok so this chapter is really random...and Bella is slightly OOC but she comes back at the end. Some fluff as well. ENJOY!**

**I down own twilight...to my displeasure**

BPOV

I hate Mike Newton. Edward looks so mad, I don't know if I can calm him down...or if I should calm him down, Mike needs some sense knocked into him...although Edward would probably knock what little sense he has out. Edward hasn't taken a breath in at least five minutes...maybe I should say something.

"Breathe Edward" I whispered quietly. He snapped out of his thoughts and faced me with a smile before taking a deep breath.

"Sorry love, I forgot" I watched bewildered as he intertwined our hands and continued smiling. So I didn't have to calm him down?

"Are you ok Edward?" I asked gently. He bent down and kissed me before giving me another breathtaking smile.

"Never better" He replied. Weird, not thirty seconds ago I was fearing for everybody's life in this supermarket and now...well now I'm weak at the knees. I wish this checkout line would move faster so we could just get home...I still haven't got anything to eat yet.

"You aren't mad?" I whispered quietly, looking around to see if Mike was still inside.

"Well, yes extremely, but Mike's right" Huh! He said...what?

"What?" My mind was still coming to terms with the possibility of his statement.

"Well, he said...he _thought..._that I was so damn lucky, and I am, to have you and your love" Edward grinned at me crookedly. My heart melted instantly and I felt tears prickle.

"I'm the lucky one" I murmured and turned my head away from him. I felt his arms encase me as he turned me back to face him.

"Bella" Edward breathed softly, lifting my chin up. "Love, we're both lucky" He kissed my lips softly, before pulling back smiling at me again. I nodded, but couldn't draw my gaze away.

"Next thanks" I heard the unmistakable sound of Mike's voice. What the hell! Wasn't he just over there? How is he even able to use his hand! No wonder the line was going so slow! I looked around and regretfully, all the other lines had at least five people waiting. Who would have thought that a small town supermarket could be so busy!

"What are you doing here Mike?" I demanded rather rudely. Edward pulled me flush against his chest and rubbed a soothing circle in my back.

"Relax love...he works here, he needs the money...apparently his family only pays him five dollars an hour" Edward chuckled in my ear too low for Mike to hear. I felt a smirk spread across my face...his parents paid me more than they did their own son.

"Good afternoon to you too Ma'am" Mike politely continued, but I saw Edward frown at him and tighten his grip on my waist. Mike was thinking dirty again.

"Edward" I grabbed his hands and loosened them slightly. "My ribs" I added, seeing the hurt look on his face. He brought my hand to his lips.

"Sorry Love" Edward replied running a hand down my face.

"Um, excuse me, but I don't want to stand here all day...watching _that_" Mike complained. Edward let go of me, glared at Mike and started unloading the trolley.

"So how long have you been working here?" I asked randomly, maybe this would get us out of here faster.

"I just started today" Interesting, so if he's rude I can just report him and get him fired...not that I'd do that but desperate times might call for desperate measures.

"So...Bella" Edward stood up straight and I saw anger flash in his eyes again. Great what was Mike up to now! "What are you doing tonight?" He...what...ugh! Edward had now finished unloading the trolley and Mike was bagging up our last purchases. I smiled cheekily at Edward, winked and then turned back to Mike.

"Edward and I are going to have a sex-a-thon, yourself?" I felt the grin spread across my face as all colour drained out of Mike's. I was amazed I could say that without a blush! I felt Edward's arm drape across my shoulder as he handed Mike the exact money.

"Ugh...uh...mmm" Mike stuttered.

"Thank you, have a nice day" Edward answered Mike extremely politely. I watched as Edward grabbed the five grocery bags in one hand and possessively grabbed my hand in his other.

"We need to hurry love" Edward stated quietly.

"Huh...why Edward?" I looked at him curiously...but then I heard it...the _giggle._

"See Jessica, I knew she was just marrying him for the sex...he probably knocked her up and is now forced to marry her...how disgraceful." Lauren snickered as she pushed past me.

"She's just jealous love" Edward was whispering calming words in my ear but I was mad.

"Oh Lauren" I called out an evil smile placed on my face. I was sick of her gossiping about me...although what I was about to do would probably make it worse...oh well.

"Bella, isn't this a ...surprise...we didn't see you there..._hello Edward_" Is she flirting with my fiancé?

"Preoccupied with your own reflection again?" I asked sweetly as I heard Jessica intake a sharp breath.

"Excuse me" Lauren huffed flicking her hair back over her shoulder while making flirty eyes with Edward.

"Are you always this stupid Lauren or are you making a special effort today" I tried again...when was she going to get that I was insulting her.

"What did you just say?" Lauren demanded. I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back; I felt the smile on my face grow.

"Well you must be to insult me behind my back, loudly I might add, and just expect me to accept it...seriously deluded" I shook my head in mock disgust. Finally she caught on.

"Yeah, well... I thought of you today. I was at the zoo." Ha ha ha, this was going to be so fun!

"I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance." Lauren looked confused for a minute before she got it...took her long enough.

"You are such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is." That was bizarre Lauren...bizarre.

"If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid." I smiled.

"Bella, come on love...I love a good cat fight as much as any man...except Emmett...but please love" Edward whispered in my ear in an attempt to distract me.

"I'm Blonde...what's your excuse" Wow, Lauren actually retorted quickly.

"Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn." Edward groaned.

"You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you." Lauren snapped. Now this was fun!

"Every girl has the right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused the privilege." I yawned in mock boredom. Lauren let out a little shriek.

"Yeah! Well... Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning." Finally some competition!

"Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." I returned instantly. I loved that Emmett had spent all last weekend educating me on the ways of Yo momma jokes. I would have to thank him.

"Yo momma's so fat, her car is made of spandex." Ok random...Lauren you can do much better than that. By now we were standing inches away from each other. Jessica and Edward were standing off to the side watching intently.

"Yo momma's so fat; she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic." I really used to think I was below yo momma jokes, apparently not.

"I hate you!" Lauren screamed in my face. I smiled...victory is mine!

"Talk is cheap but that's OK - so are you." My smile grew bigger until she jumped on me. Lucky I was used to the strength of mythological creatures...not that I needed it, she was weak. I latched onto her hair as she screamed profanities at me, slapping me. We were getting right into it, her nails were digging into my skin so I yanked on her hair.

"OW!" She screeched, instantly letting me go. Wow, for my first fight that sure was easy. Suddenly I found myself tackled to the ground with Lauren around my waist. My ribs and back were searing with pain. Ouch! Did she just bite me! I felt someone pull me out of Lauren's grasp as the manager dragged Lauren off me, kicking and screaming. Edward held me to his chest, I was breathing heavy but I was no way about to attack Lauren again...like she so obviously trying to do.

"Let me go!" Lauren shrieked, she was begging to look scary.

"Ma'am, calm down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" The Manager was obviously enjoying holding onto Lauren.

"What about them!" She spat at us.

"We were on our way out when you so rudely intercepted us" Edward replied smoothly. "So if you don't mind, we'll be going now" Edward focused his attention to the manager who nodded in response.

"That was so HOT!" I heard Mike yell as Edward led me outside. I felt my cheeks turn red. Same old Bella. Edward placed the groceries in the boot before cornering me against the side of a car. I gulped...was he mad? I know I shouldn't have overreacted like that but...

"Bella, love" Edward began rubbing his hands up and down my arms gently. "Why did Lauren's statement get you so riled up?" I studied his eyes carefully. Apparently he wasn't as upset as he was amused.

"Edward" I exhaled deeply before continuing "She blatantly insulted you, then she began to flirt with you...it just made me upset" I shrugged staring down at my feet.

"So you were jealous and thought you had to stand up for me" Edward asked slowly. I nodded.

"Well you are _my_ fiancé, just staking my claim" I muttered, but with his supersonic hearing of course he heard me. He moulded his body to mine before he tilted my chin up, crashing his lips down on mine. The kiss was passionate to say the least. I felt Edward's tongue flick out and graze me bottom lip, causing me to moan. He pulled away chuckling while I gasped for breath.

"You have _no_ idea how sexy you are when you're jealous and protective" Edward murmured in my ear. My heart was racing. Edward kissed my neck, right above my madly throbbing pulse and chuckled again. "And a sex-a-thon, really Bella" He rolled his eyes before stepping away and opening the passenger's door and helping me in. The ride back to the house was silent...I was still feeling embarrassed. I watched as Edward turned off the engine and growled. I looked at him quizzically.

"Alice saw the fight and now Emmett wants a play by play and a re-enactment between you and Rosalie." Edward grumbled. I hung my head.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you Edward" I whispered softly staring out the window.

"Bella...you didn't embarrass me at all...or yourself for that matter...only Lauren" Edward pulled me into his lap and began playing with a strand of my hair. "Actually...it was quite a turn on" He admitted very quietly in my ear. I felt the blush stain my cheeks again. Edward kissed my lips softly as his hands held onto my waist, his thumbs rubbing up and down my sides. I slowly ran my hands up his chest and up behind his neck. He lifted me up and sat me so I was straddling him again without breaking the kiss. Suddenly, we were rudely interrupted by a knock on the window. I pulled away from Edward, my cheeks turning redder. I tried to slide off his lap but he wrapped and arm around me, keeping me there. I couldn't watch as he rolled down the window...whoever was standing there I didn't want to know.

"Hello my little sex-capaders...starting your marathon a little early aren't we?" Emmett laughed as I leaned my head against Edward's chest and groaned.

"I hate Alice...I'm never going to live that down" I complained into Edward's shirt.

"Not as long as I can help it!" Emmett promised gleefully before running off back to the house after Edward growled at him.

"I'm sorry love" Edward kissed just below my ear and trailed kissed down my neck. "I suppose we should go inside" He allowed, sighing. My stomach growled again...always at the most inappropriate times. "You still haven't had anything to eat" I saw the concern in his eyes.

"Well come on, I'm hungry" I giggled as he slid out of the car with me in his arms. Setting me down, he grabbed the groceries and led us into hell...cough...I mean the house.

**REVIEW...like it? Hate it? Think it was random or stupid? I really just wanted Lauren and Bella to get into a cat fight...**


	10. Hurting

**Hello everyone...I thought we needed a break from crazy Bella so we're back to fainting Bella...and a crazy Alice and a mad Jasper...It's not as funny as other chapters but it has its moments...**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I got over 50 last chapter so ya'll must have enjoyed the cat fight!**

**I own nothing...sadly**

EPOV

I led Bella into the house. She was looking really pale. I wrapped an arm around her and she leaned against me heavily.

"Bella, are you alright love?" I murmured in her ear worriedly. She nodded and gave a small smile.

"Guess what Eddie?" Emmett laughed as I growled at the use of that _name_.

"That is not my name!" I snapped. "What is it Emmett?" He was smiling.

"You owe Bella one hundred dollars" he stated smugly.

"Ok...but why" I grabbed my wallet out of my back pocket.

"Because you touched the Volvo when you weren't supposed to!" He was bouncing up and down. I shrugged and pulled out the money handing it to a hesitant Bella.

"Why one hundred Emmett?" She asked softly. She seemed really tired all of the sudden.

"Well, I figured it was a ten minute drive there and ten minutes back so times five by twenty and you get one hundred...simple" Bella was still hesitant about taking the money so I opened her hand and placed it inside, closing her fingers around it.

"A bet's a bet love and I broke the rules" I confirmed. She nodded slowly and shoved the bill in her pocket.

"Edward I'm not feeling..." Bella murmured as Alice sang out in her mind

"_Bella's about to pass out Edward in three, two, one...catch"_ I wrapped Bella up in my arms and cradled her to my chest as she lost consciousness.

"What's wrong with the human?" Emmett asked poking Bella's arm. I growled viscously and he took a step back. Finally, someone takes me seriously.

"Don't touch her" I spat out each word slowly with menace.

"Edward, what's wrong now?" Carlisle stood in front of me waiting patiently.

"He forgot to feed Bella" Alice sang out. "She'll be fine as long as you feed her when she wakes up. Oh and Carlisle if you put a drip in she freaks out and tears a vein...so just let her sleep it off" Alice danced around the room happily as if my Bella wasn't just laying there unconscious.

"How long till she wakes up?" I muttered looking down at the peaceful angel in my arms. Some colour had already started coming back into her cheeks.

"Thirty two minutes and forty five seconds" Alice answered lightly.

BPOV

My mind feels fuzzy. Why is everything dark? Oh, my eyes are closed...they feel so heavy. Hmm sleep feels nice...so does the arms around me...mmm Edward...Edward! I slowly opened my heavy eye lids and met his bright topaz eyes. He looked sad and anxious.

"Welcome back love" He whispered kissing my neck briefly before capturing my lips. "How are you feeling?" He ran his nose along my jaw slowly. Gradually my mind clicked into gear...I had fainted. I felt the blush creep into my cheeks...my body is such a traitor.

"Sorry" I mumbled closing my eyes briefly again in embarrassment.

"Bella!" Edward called out in alarm. I opened my eyes quickly.

"Sorry, I'm fine really, just tired" He visibly relaxed and pulled me closer into his embrace. We were on the bed in his room.

"Are you ready to eat love?" Edward asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Sure, I could eat...what time is it by the way?" I looked out the windows...I would guess the sun was setting by the amount of light outside but it was so cloudy there was no sun visible.

"It's four in the afternoon, if you sit up I'll give you your food" I sat up as he jumped out of bed.

"As long as Emmett didn't make it" I muttered. Edward laughed.

"Hey! That's not nice Bella" Emmett called from downstairs. My lips pulled into a smile as Edward placed a tray of food in my lap. There were scrambled eggs, toast, a piece of steak and some steamed vegetables. On the side of the tray there was a glass of milk. Edward stood there watching me tentatively.

"Did you make this Edward?" I wondered. He nodded slowly and I felt my smile growing bigger.

"Thank you it looks wonderful!" I picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of broccoli.

"Do you want me to leave Bella?" I dropped my fork with a loud clatter.

"What, Why?" I asked sorrowfully, panicking, suddenly assaulted with all the memories of when Edward had left. Instantly I was in Edward's arms, the tray set aside.

"Not like that love, not like that" He whispered kissing my hair and holding me tightly. It hurt my ribs a little but I just wanted to be close to him so I ignored the pain. He relaxed slightly kissing my forehead, then my lips then my neck. "I meant did you want me leave you alone while you eat...I know you don't like it when we watch you" He confessed quietly.

"Please Edward, stay, I don't mind if it's just you...Alice or Emmett on the other hand" I shuddered as I remembered them mimicking every single movement I made once while trying to eat spaghetti. Edward kissed my head then pulled away slightly placing the tray back in my lap.

"Then please eat Bella, I don't want you passing out again" Edward pushed the fork into my hand. I took a bite and swallowed, a moan escaping my lips. It tasted so good...maybe it was just because I hadn't eaten all day but it still tasted fantastic. Edward leaned back and started playing with a strand of my hair.

"I'm glad you like it" He whispered kissing my neck lightly. I continued eating until I had finished off everything. I sighed, content and full. Edward flashed out of the room with the tray and was back in seconds.

"Thank you Edward that was fantastic, just what I needed" I laid back down as I began to feel tired again.

"Did you not sleep while I was gone either?" He demanded playfully. Suddenly I felt guilty...it wasn't that I didn't sleep... "Bella" Edward growled at me.

"Sorry, I just have trouble getting to sleep when you aren't here" I breathed almost inaudibly. His arms wrapped around me and he kissed my neck.

"It ok love, I'm not angry, sorry I growled at you" He apologized remorsefully. I snuggled closer to him. "You should take a shower and change into pyjamas you'll be uncomfortable sleeping in your jeans." He continued in a calmer tone. I sighed and crawled off the bed wincing as I stood. Man I was going to be really stiff and sore tomorrow. My back and ribs were throbbing. Edward was instantly at my side, arms wrapped around me gently.

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked searching my eyes carefully.

"She's not going to tell you Edward because it will upset you" Alice chirped from the doorway, I broke my eyes away from Edward's and looked at Alice.

"Bella please tell me, I won't get upset I promise" I shook my head slowly.

"That's a promise you can't keep Edward" I professed.

"Well by not telling me you're making me more and more anxious that it's something terrible" Edward coaxed. I would have to tell him...later.

"Let me take a shower first" I batted my eyelashes at him and his eyes glazed over before he nodded. Wow that worked! I dazzled Edward, I dazzled Edward, this calls for a happy dance! I looked up and noticed Edward and Alice staring at me with amusement. I blushed and turned and walked into the bathroom slamming the door. The door instantly opened and Alice appeared in front of me.

"You're going to need my help" She frowned as she stared at my ribs. I shrugged but instantly regretted it. Damn, fighting Lauren had damaged my bruises. Ha ha my bruises have bruises...ha ha ha.

"Bella why are you laughing?" Alice wondered at me. I shook my head and stopped laughing.

"Never mind, it wasn't really funny" I moved to pull off my top but grimaced. Hmm this was going to be harder than I thought. Alice stepped forward and pulled off my top quickly. She sucked in breath.

"Oh Bella...you should really get Carlisle to take a look at that" Alice murmured and then poked my ribs. The tears welled up.

"Alice why'd you have to do that it really hurts!" I yelled at her. Suddenly her face went blank and then she tried to pounce on the door but Edward was already inside.

"Aggh!" Edward screamed like a girl and covered up his eyes. "Bella where is your shirt...and why does your bra have a cheetah print on it?" Edward turned his back on me. Well that wasn't exactly the reaction I expected from a grown man.

"Well Edward, first off I'm your fiancé you're allowed to see me in my bra, second you've seen me in a bikini which is less than what I'm wearing now, third what do you expect when you come into the bathroom when I'm about to take a shower. Why are you in here anyway?" I enquired, feeling a small blush in my cheeks.

"Oh...you're right" He turned around and growled and was instantly at my side, his hands on my ribs and back. Oops, this is what I was trying to keep from him; he's going to be mad now. "This is why I came in here...you're hurt Bella" He sounded so full of anguish. "I'm going to kill Rosalie and then I'm off to find Lauren" He growled I grabbed his arm before he raced out of the room. He paused and tried to pull my fingers off gently. It wasn't going to work, I was holding on with all my might.

"Edward" I murmured "Edward look at me" I insisted. His now onyx eyes stared at my eyes. I turned him to face me and grabbed both his hands. "Edward I love you" I whispered kissing along his jaw and down his neck. "Please Edward don't" I breathed softly in his ear to which he shuddered in response. "It's not Roses fault, it's not Lauren's fault and it is certainly not your fault. If anyone's to blame then really it's my fault. I aggravated both Rose and Lauren" I persisted steadily. Before kissing his lips softly and pulling back. His eyes were almost back to his normal colour. "Do you love me Edward?" I whispered. He moved his arms around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

"I love you Bella, I'm sorry I shouldn't have lost my temper" He declared quietly.

"Edward its fine...I'm not really that badly injured...just bruised that's it. It looks much worse than it feels trust me" I maintained. He pulled back from me and stared at my body before gazing back into my eyes. His eyes finally light topaz again. I exhaled a sigh of relief that I had managed to calm him down again.

"Can Carlisle please take a look?" He begged. I nodded and smiled.

"Of course, but I would really like to take a shower first" He chuckled and kissed me.

"Cheetah print?...really Bella" He mumbled slowly walking out of the bathroom.

"Well there weren't any in Mountain Lion print so you'll just have to deal" I stated smiling at him sheepishly. He chuckled and closed the door behind him. Alice was staring at me with an open mouth. "What?" I blushed and crossed my arms across my chest.

"How did you do that?" She demanded suddenly.

'What did I do?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"I saw the future...it was pretty definite...how did you stop him?" Her voice was filled with awe.

"Edward?" I clarified. She nodded violently. "He just needed to calm down" I spoke slowly. She cocked her head at me.

"Nope, that's not it. I saw him tearing Rose up and burying Lauren alive. Not even Jasper can calm him down when he's that mad. How? What did you say to him?" Alice was commanding me to answer.

"You couldn't hear what I was saying?" I was bewildered.

"You were speaking too quietly!" She shrieked, clearly frustrated. I didn't think I was _that_ quiet. Poor Alice...I couldn't help but laugh.

"Magicians never reveal their tricks" I laughed. She scowled at me.

"You're going to regret this Isabella, I see a lot of shopping in your future" She threatened angrily.

"Well I see a weekend in Vegas and a minister dressed as Elvis Presley" I retorted quickly. Her eyes turned black. Crap... Suddenly Jasper was in the room with his arms around Alice and I was feeling supremely calm.

"Alice leave Bella alone" Jasper stated. Alice nodded her head and let Jasper lead her out. I shut and locked the door quickly...not that it would help if any of them wanted to enter, but at least I could pretend I was safe. I peeled off the rest of my clothes and jumped in the nice hot shower.

APOV

How did she calm him down so easily? No! She didn't just calm him down; she turned him from deadly predator to happy-go-skip-in-a-field-of-daisies Edward. I mean come on! And it's killing me not knowing what she said to calm him down! Who'd a thought she could talk that quiet! Jasper led me downstairs to where Emmett and Rose were sitting.

"What's been going on up there?" Emmett asked looking amused.

"Rose you're lucky you're still alive" I whispered fiercely so Edward wouldn't hear us.

"What do you mean?" She asked in a normal tone. Blondes! I held my finger to my lip and she rolled her eyes.

"I mean I just _saw_ you die...again" I continued in my hushed voice. Rose instantly went pale. "Weren't you guys listening to what Edward was saying?" I asked shocked that they weren't eavesdropping for once. Rose regained colour and Emmett de-tensed.

"Oh it's just Edward" Rose exhaled.

"Yeah well I _saw_ him tear you to pieces and set you on fire! So don't believe he isn't threatening!" Emmett started to look mad, like he was about to dash up the stairs and beat the crap out of Edward. "But! Bella saved your life" Rose and Emmett both snorted. God this was frustrating!

"Calm down love" Jasper murmured in my ear, hugging me back to his chest. "I've never felt Edward that mad...except when James...and Victoria..." Jasper announced to Rose and Emmett. "But he had every right to be Rose! If you hurt Alice that much I would kill you, without a doubt" Jasper was suddenly angry and whisper shouting at Rose. "How dare you hurt Bella like that!" He scolded. "She's human Rose that means she can die! Just because you have an aversion to her doesn't mean we all don't love her!" Jasper was trying to keep his voice quiet but failing. I placed a hand on his cheek and he took a deep breath. "Don't you ever hurt her like that again" Jasper threatened before disappearing. I sighed, he needed to go calm down for a while. I didn't realise he felt so strongly about Bella, I mean I knew he loved her like a sister but he just threatened Rose!

"As I was saying, Bella just saved your life! So you better be darn grateful" I turned to leave but Rose stopped me.

"You keep saying that but what do you mean?" Emmett asked quietly, humbled I think.

"I mean that girl can work miracles...I don't know how she did it but she calmed Edward down" I shook my head over the conundrum again. "I'd still be careful around him if I were you" I uttered before stalking off after Jasper. And how dare Bella threaten to go to VEGAS!

EPOV

_I love Bella, Bella loves me...we'll be a happy vampire family!_ Suddenly Jasper sat down on my bed.

"Hey Jasper what's up?" I asked.

"Why are you so goddamn happy?!" He yelled at me. Ok...calm down Jasper.

"Because I have Bella" I shrugged and continued my little happy chant in my head tying not to be affected by his aggression. He took a deep breath and I could see my mood affecting him.

"How are you no longer mad at Rose?" He enquired carefully.

"I'm still furious" I murmured bleakly. Way to ruin my happy Bella mood Jasper. Abruptly the bathroom door opened and out walked Bella in nothing but a towel. Jasper and I blinked and exchanged glances.

"Edward have you seen my cloth...AGHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed and ran back into the bathroom slamming the door. I could hear her heart rate going 100 miles an hour. I started chuckling as did Jasper.

"You two shut up!" Alice stalked over to my closet yanking open the door. "Where are Bella's clothes Edward?" Alice demanded.

"I don't know Alice, you usually know" I jumped up and inspected my wardrobe...nothing.

"The one time I have nothing for her to wear and she needs something!" Alice let out a little scream. Before sprinting out of the room and returning with a blue lacy bra and panties. She stormed back into my closet and pulled out one of my long shirts. Jasper and I watched as she walked over to the bathroom door and turned the knob...it was locked. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Bella open this door!" Alice yelled.

"No way Alice! You're in a bad mood and I've been through enough today!" Bella yelled back. Alice let out another scream. Wow, I've never seen Alice so mad at Bella...and Bella not caving. This is entertaining.

"_Edward twenty bucks Bella caves before Alice asks you for help!" _Jasper thought. I shook his hand and we sat down and watched the show.

"Bella you know I can just break down this door!" Alice shouted.

"Of course you _can_ but Edward won't let you" Bella laughed...she actually taunted Alice.

"Is this because I threatened to take you shopping Bella?" Alice asked in a calmer voice.

"Yes...and because you sound ready to kill me" Bella muttered the last part. I chuckled again.

"Ugh! Fine, Edward get Bella dressed. Jazz lets go" I laughed as Jasper handed me a twenty and trudged out of my room.

**Wow so that was a really long chapter...meh...tell me all your thoughts!!**


	11. Dancing

**Hello everyone y'all ready to make some noise! Nah just joking! So a lot of you wanted more Emmett and Spice girls so i hope this chapter makes you happy.**

**I dont own twilight...or Baby Spice...or the Songs Spice Girls - Im a lady not a tramp and Stop.**

BPOV

Alice is scary when she's angry. I'm never going to threaten her again with a Vegas wedding...even if it is what I want; it's not what Edward wants.

"Bella, love, Alice is gone and so is Jasper...will you open the door so I can hand you some clothes or will I have to break down the door and see you in all your glory" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Shut up _Mr-I-scream-at-the-sight-of-bras_." I retorted then cracked the door open slightly. "Would you please be so kind and hand me my clothes" I continued in a softer voice. I really didn't want Edward to come in here...I might attack him...and he probably wouldn't like it due to his _rules and boundaries_ although we seemed to be bending them a lot today. His hand shot through the slit and he handed me a pile of clothes. I pried them out of his fingers, pushing his hand back before closing the door quickly. I felt him lean against the door. Looking at the clothes, I realised Edward had just handed me a blue lacy bra and underwear set and one of his shirts.

"Edward?" I questioned softly.

"Yes love" He returned from the other side of the door.

"Where are my clothes?" I wondered curiously. I heard him mumble something but I didn't quite catch it. "What happened Edward?" I sighed, slipping into the underwear and bra quickly.

"Nothing _happened_ per se...We just can't seem to locate your backpack...or any clothes that you had here" I could almost see him shrug his shoulders. Great, so all my stuff is missing, just freaking great. I slipped on the shirt and opened the door. Edward froze and his eyes travelled slowly down my body, to where my thighs peaked out from his shirt, all the way back up. I gulped at the look in his eyes...he looked...devious and I could clearly see his desire.

"Ah...um...I..." I felt myself blushing so I cast my eyes to the floor. "Do you have any shorts I could borrow Edward?" I muttered, allowing my hair to fall down around my face creating a wall. Edward gently brushed my hair behind my ears and his hand tilted my face up. I closed my eyes and tried to turn my face away from his but he held tight.

"Bella please look at me" Edward kissed my lips softly. I opened my eyes and stared into his topaz eyes. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you, you're just so beautiful and sexy...I couldn't help but stare." His eyes were full of love and passion. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes quickly again.

"Edward if you don't want me to jump you right here and now I'd take a step back and not look at me like that" I whispered. I felt Edward's lips crash onto mine I instantly tangled my hands in his hair and wrapped my legs around his waist...well I did warn him. I heard him moan softly then growl. I jumped off him and took a few steps back wrapping my arms around my body. I hope he wasn't too angry at me.

"Bella" He groaned.

"I know I'm sorry" I muttered keeping my eyes closed while trying to focus on my breathing. Instantly I found myself encased in his arms.

"No, Bella don't be sorry, I didn't mean to growl at you. You're just too damn sexy! It's not your fault" He whispered into my ear. "You warned me..._I_ jumped _you_, I should be apologizing" He started trailing kisses up my neck "You're so attractive...I'm so in love with you...gorgeous...soft...luscious  
...beautiful" He muttered in between kisses. A smile grew steadily on my face...before I yawned...way to kill the mood Bella. Edward chuckled against my skin, it felt sensational. In seconds I was tucked up in bed with Edward lying beside me.

"Edward it's still early...I'm not sleepy" I complained with my eyes still closed.

"Yes you are my Bella. Sleep love" Edward laughed kissing my forehead. He then started to hum my lullaby and I lost all coherent thoughts and consciousness.

XXXxxxXXX

"Edward!" I heard Emmett holler. I was buried under the covers, completely hidden. Suddenly the covers were gone.

"Eddie what are you...oh...you're not Edward" I snorted and sat up angrily.

"Yah think Emmett!" I shouted. It was still pitch black outside. "What is the matter with you? I'm human I need to sleep!" I yelled at him then instantly regretted it, a blush attacking my face once again.

"S...sor...sorry Bella...I...um...I thought you were Edward" He stuttered.

"Human!" I pointed to myself. "That means I have a heart beat and I smell like blood" I vented angrily. "You're a vampire, how could you not recognise that" I shrieked.

"I...uh...well, you smell just like Edward...probably has something to do with you wearing his shirt...and not much else" I looked down and sure enough Edward's shirt had ridden up and was revealing my lacy underwear and hips to Emmett.

"AGH! GET OUT NOW EMMETT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs flinging myself back under the covers. I was so embarrassed, my face felt like it was on fire and my eyes were welling up with tears. I started sobbing. This was not a nice way to wake up...and where was Edward?

EPOV _(Occurring at the same time downstairs)_

I had just come downstairs to play on my piano for a little bit while Bella slept. I sat down on the bench and started hitting random keys.

"Hey Bella, watch ya doing?" I heard Alice giggle. I didn't know Bella was downstairs...didn't I just leave her in bed. "So, I'm sorry about before...Jasper told me I was scaring you...I'm just fussy and so excited about this wedding! I'm glad you decided to not get married in Vegas, you're right it's not what Edward wants" She shrieked happily sitting on top of the piano. "So, seeing as you seem to be ignoring me...let's talk about Edward...just how far have you two gone...most of the time I try not to watch, but then I get curious so I peak now and again and Edward would probably kill me if he knew!" She giggled again. Didn't she realise I was sitting right here? "Have you seen him naked yet? Does he meet your expectations? If he wasn't my brother and if I didn't have Jazzy then I would definitely do Edward...he is one hunk of a man" Was Alice _shudder_ fantasising about me?! Oh god I just read her mind! She was seeing me naked! Just how many times has she seen me naked! NOT COOL.

"Alice!" I yelled. She fell off the piano and landed with a thud on the floor. I looked around from where I sat on the bench and sure enough there was a big dint in the floor...Esme would be pissed.

"Ed...Edward I...where's Bella!" She stammered.

"Upstairs...asleep like any other human" I returned staring at her as she just sat on the floor with her head in her hands.

"How did I not see this coming?" She kept muttering. "I _never_ embarrass myself...how did I let this happen" She continued. "I don't even like Edward that way! Gross, Gross Gross! Oh my GOD!"

"Didn't you realise I was sitting right here?" I asked in disbelief. She shook her head violently from side to side.

"NO! I thought you were Bella! You smell like Bella!" She shouted at me. I blinked and ran a hand through my hair. Oops...

"I may have used Bella's shampoo in the shower" I mumbled. God this was awkward.

"AGH! GET OUT NOW EMMETT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" I heard Bella scream loudly. I was on my feet in a split second but Alice grabbed my arm and prevented me from running upstairs. She started to roar with laughter.

"Emmett...ha ha...just mistook Bella for you...ha ha...so red..."Alice was clinging to me tightly.

"Alice let me go" I growled trying to shake her off to no avail. Suddenly Emmett appeared on the floor in front of my feet on his knees.

"I'm sorry Edward! She was under the sheets and she smelt like you! I just thought you were messing around!" He was clinging to my shirt now, shaking me as Alice clung to my arm laughing harder. I read his mind...he had seen Bella in her underwear! I growled. "I didn't mean to Edward honest! But she is HOT! Have you seen those legs?" He instantly started day dreaming about Bella.

"EMMETT!" Both Rose and I yelled at once. Rose smacked him hard on the back of the head. I picked him up by the ear, opened the sliding door and tossed him out into the woods...he went twice as far as Bella had gone this morning.

"Alice let me go now" I pronounced each word as a separate growl. She released her death grip on me and I flew up the stairs to Bella's side. I heard her sobbing under the covers.

"Bella" I murmured softly, pulling the covers down as much as she would allow. I started stroking her hair. "Its ok love, I'm here now, I'm sorry I left you, I was downstairs two minutes; I'm so sorry Bella" I lamented. Bella suddenly launched herself into my arms. I held her tight and rubbed circles in her back as she cried into my chest. After around ten minutes Bella fell silent. "Bella, my love...are you ok?" I breathed into her ear. She tightened her grip around my neck but nodded. I exhaled a sigh of relief that Bella wasn't too mortified.

"GOD MAKE THE EMOTIONS STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" We suddenly heard Jasper scream like a little girl and the front door slam.

EmPOV

_Oh God! My poor little sis! I just almost embarrassed her to death...how the hell will I make this up to her...and Edward...I hope he doesn't kill me. Why the hell did I even say those things about Bella? I don't even like her that way! Ew, she's my little sis!...I know! The spice girls will save all!_

EPOV

Jasper's an idiot. What was Emmett up to now? I turned Bella in my arms so I could see her face. It was all puffy from crying but she wasn't red from embarrassment anymore. I kissed her forehead and she relaxed against me. Abruptly music filled the air in my room and the door burst open to reveal Emmett dressed up as Baby spice with a blonde wig pulled into piggy tails, a short, tight, red, latex dress and Rosalie's red go-go boots. I watched as Bella's mouth fell open as _Spice Girls – I'm a lady not a tramp_ started playing and Emmett started singing **(GO TO YOUTUBE AND WATCH THEM PERFORM IT LIVE AND IMAGINE EMMETT SEXY DANCING TO IT)**. He strutted slowly towards us and started trying to do a _sexy_ _dance_, and I use the word extremely loosely in Emmett's case.

"_Cos the lady is a vamp, she's a vixen not a tramp, She's a da da da da da da da, Come on fellows raise your bets cos you ain't seen nothing yet, She's the top of the top she's the best, yes!" _Bella started laughing as Emmett started singing the chorus to her. I heard a click and turned to see Esme with a camera in hand madly clicking away. Emmett stood there shocked before sprinting out of the room.

EsmePOV

_Wow, I have just pulled off the greatest prank EVER! Who'd have thought I could embarrass, annoy and mortify all my children in one go! And it's all thanks to Bella! Ha, I'm a genius; this should teach my children for disrespecting the house! I honestly didn't think it would work that well...I'll definitely have to thank..._

EPOV

"ESME! How could you!" I growled at her menacingly. "That's it young lady you are grounded indefinitely! I can't believe you would be so irresponsible and pull a stunt that upset everybody so bad! Go to your room and don't come out until you're ready to apologize" I pointed out the door. Esme slumped her shoulders and stalked off. Man, I know I'm older than Esme but she's supposed to be the mother of the family, not a terrible teenager. She was supposed to be disciplining us! What had gotten into her?

"Edward, please calm down" I felt Bella tug on my arm. I lay back down on the bed and Bella climbed into my arms, wrapping them around her. "You guys always get to be silly and have fun...Esme and Carlisle always have to be responsible, even though in human standards they're not _that_ much older than all of you, they have to be the adults...let her have her fun this once" Bella pleaded in a soft voice.

"But Bella, she mortified you to tears" I uttered in anguish...I hated to see Bella upset. Bella brushed some hair out of my eyes and kissed my lips softly.

"Actually, that was me" My head snapped towards the sound of the voice and sure enough Nathaniel was sitting on my couch. I growled and tried to pounce but Bella latched herself onto me.

"I thought Carlisle kicked you out, literally" I growled at him. He shrugged and smiled, looking Bella up and down. I quickly pulled the covers over us. And gave him a death glare.

"Carlisle won't be home from work for another hour" He smiled still starring at Bella. I growled at him again.

"Get your eyes OFF MY FIANCE!" I stated in a deadly menacing voice. The asshole just continued to smile.

"_Stop right now thank you very much, __I need somebody with the human touch, Hey you always on the run, Gotta slow if down baby, gotta have some fun" _Emmett jumped back into the room singing in his traumatic little outfit pointing at Nathaniel and singing. My mouth fell open and I just gaped at Emmett. He suddenly froze and looked like he just made a fatal error. I looked at Nathaniel and he was just smiling at Emmett.

"So your deepest desire is to be baby spice huh Emmett?" Nathaniel asked Emmett who was still standing there with a look of horror on his face.

"Oh MY GOD! Emmett what the hell are you doing in my clothes! How did you even get into them? MY GO GO BOOTS! Emmett!" Rose stalked into the room and smacked Emmett on the head. "You're going to be sleeping alone for six months for this!" Apparently this is what he needed because his thoughts started flowing and his eyes turned deadly.

"I'm going to rip you limb from limb for this punk" Emmett's eyes flashed at Nathaniel. The funny thing was, even Emmett with all his muscles couldn't pull off intimidation while dressed as baby spice with pig tails. I felt Bella shaking next to me and when my eyes met hers we both exploded into a fit of laughter.

"Emmett...ha ha...you...girl...sissy...not scary...ha ha...pig tails" Bella was choking out a few words while I held onto her laughing myself breathless. "Ha ha...ow" Bella stopped laughing and started breathing shallowly taking shuddering breaths. There were tears in her eyes. I grabbed her face in my hands.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I demanded searching her face for answers.

"Too much laughing...my ribs" She gasped. I looked up and noticed Rose, Emmett and Nathaniel staring at us.

"Get out" I ordered, glaring at Rose if she hadn't...

"Edward, leave her alone" Bella whispered. I swiftly looked back to her eyes. I sighed and nodded then glared at the door as it slammed shut leaving us alone.

"Lift up your shirt Bella" I murmured throwing back the covers and sitting up, leaning Bella against the pillows.

"No Edward...I'm fine" She exhaled sharply then grimaced.

"Love please, I've been to medical school twice, I've seen you shirtless before, let me examine your ribs just to make sure. Please Bella" I asked softly, looking at her from beneath my eyelashes. She sighed and agreed. I slowly lifted up her shirt and stared at her bruises for a few minutes. It made me so mad that Bella had gotten so hurt when I should have been able to prevent it. I felt her hand run through my hair.

"Edward, let it go" My angel whispered. I leaned down and kissed her stomach.

"I'll try love" I answered running my hands across her ribs. I carefully checked each one and her lungs. Nothing was broken, thankfully. She had been right; she was fine, just stiff, sore and bruised. I kissed her stomach again and pulled her shirt back down. I laid down and pulled her gently against my chest.

"Go back to sleep Bella" I instructed, kissing her forehead lightly and wrapping the blankets around her.

"I love you Edward" She murmured.

"I love you too Bella" I whispered as her breathing and heart rate became steady.

**REVIEW!! Tell me your favourite line in this chapter! Or your thoughts...either way!**


	12. Sleeping

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry for not updating...it's really hard to write comedy when you're dog tired...and i want this to be fun, but with a sort of plot...anyways...i made the chapter longer than ever just to try to compensate!**

**ON WITH THE SHOW...i'm still not Ms Meyer so i own nothing! And i dont own Finding Nemo either...or the song **_**I touch myself - The Divinyls**_**...ENJOY**

BPOV

I seemed to be having the weirdest dream. Edward wasn't there, but Emmett, Rose and Jasper were...and where was Alice?

"Do you think she always looks this innocent when sleeping?" Dream Jasper asked.

"Yeah...she looks almost as innocent as Edward" Dream Emmett laughed, and I heard him high five Jasper.

"She looks really soft" Dream Rose commented. Was that a compliment?

"Squishy!" Dream Emmett suddenly screamed. "I shall call her Squishy and she shall be mine and she shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy Come on, little Squishy Bella!" I sighed, I knew I should have never let Emmett watch _Finding Nemo_, he was obsessed. I heard a whack. Must have been Dream Rose, hitting Emmett...good times.

"Emmett, Bella is Edward's pet!" Dream Rose shouted. Since when am I a pet! I accept that I'm not his equal but PET!

"My squishy Bella, all mine!" Emmett started laughing hysterically and I turned over on my side and groaned from the pain in my ribs. Oh man! This wasn't a dream, crap, maybe if I go back to sleep when I wake up they'll all be gone.

"Shush Emmett! You almost woke her up! How are we going to watch her sleep if she's awake?" Jasper muttered.

"That is quite the conundrum" Emmett chuckled and I could imagine him stroking his non-existent beard. Did Emmett just use the word _conundrum_?

"How can Edward just sit here and watch her sleep all night? This is boring" I heard Rose announce.

"Well, maybe we're not doing it right. Emmett get in and lie down next to her like Edward does" Jasper ordered.

"Ok, but I draw the line at kissing her" I felt Emmett's weight on the bed.

"Don't you dare!" I screeched at the top of my lungs, sitting up so fast the vampires all took a step back. They all had shocked looks on their faces. I noticed it was still dark outside, great. Alice instantly burst into the room in hysterical laughter.

"Ha ha...that...ha ha...the looks on all your faces!" She collapsed on the floor where we all just stared at her; then she went into a vision. My heart rate was going a hundred miles an hour, I never wanted Emmett to lie in bed with me and hold me like Edward does, agh please make it stop! I was trying to decide whether this was a worse way to wake up than Emmett thinking I was Edward when Alice came out of her vision looking terrified.

"What is it?" Jasper asked with a gasp. (**Hee hee, it rhymes)**

"Edward...Civil war books, Playboys, Guccis, Pradas, Jimmy Choos...must protect assets" Alice whispered and in a blink they were all gone from the room. Abruptly Edward was by my side.

"What is it love, what's wrong, what happened?" He was demanding, his eyes raking over me.

"If you were here you would know" I mumbled flopping back on to the bed. Suddenly, Edward was hovering above me, his lips and body pressed gently against mine. He leaned back slightly, me gasping for breath.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here Bella, I went to get you breakfast because Alice said you would love it" He murmured, placing a soft kiss on my neck.

"It was probably all part of her master plan" I uttered, still breathless and shocked. What happened to boundaries?

"What do you mean love? Please tell me" He was frowning now. The door burst open, but Edward didn't move an inch...not that I minded him lying on top of me...

"Bella if you love me, please don't say anything, please for the love of Gucci! How much do you love me?" She was pouting but I slowly turned my face back to Edward's and he was also pouting. Oh, this was so not fair.

"I'm sorry..." I paused as both Edward and Alice scowled at each other then pouted at me, trying to win my affection. "...Alice, but I love Edward more" I whispered. Edward instantly smiled while Alice started sobbing. "Alice why don't you save them now, while you still have a chance" I suggested and she was gone from the room.

"Why does she keep repeating, _Not my Gucci, Not my Gucci,_ over and over in her head?" Edward thought aloud. I sighed.

"Because apparently you are going to destroy all her designer clothing when I tell you what happened, although it wasn't that bad. It is very early though, and Emmett did wake me up last night..." I yawned and trailed off, this probably wasn't helping the others...but then again maybe this would teach them to leave me alone and stop picking on me.

"Bella" Edward's cool, sweet breath penetrated my senses and I felt my eyes glaze over. He quickly kissed my lips before sitting beside me and pulling me into a sitting position. "Tell me Bella, please, it's not like I can read your mind or anything...unfortunately" He muttered. I laughed, poor Edward wasn't even trying to be funny. "Please love, it's killing me" I laughed harder, slightly hurting my ribs, enough with the puns already! I calmed my features and placed a blank look on my face.

"But you're already dead" I stated in an expressionless voice, cocking my head to the side in mock blonde confusion. The crooked grin I loved so much appeared on his beautiful face.

"Point taken love, now please, if you will, tell me what Alice's master plan was and why she got me out of the house" He asked tenderly caressing one of my hands against his cheek while looking at me from underneath his eyelashes. I sighed, I had lost this battle.

"Well, I was asleep and I thought I was dreaming because Rose, Emmett and Jasper were all discussing what I looked like while I was sleeping...they insulted you...and then Emmett claimed me as his own and Rose called me your _pet" _I spat the word out disgustedly. Edward's frown was deepening as I went on. "And so I rolled over and my ribs started burning and that was when I realised I wasn't asleep. After that Jasper told Emmett to get into bed with me like you do" I was cut off.

"HE DID WHAT!" Edward yelled. I cringed back a little bit, my eardrums aching. I pulled my hands away from Edward and held them over my ears quickly, awaiting the encore. Simultaneously I was enveloped in a hug by Edward. He gently pried my hands away from my ears.

"I'm sorry love" He whispered soothingly, trailing kisses along my jaw line. "Please continue" He persisted, holding me against his body. I shot him a look as if to say _no more yelling_ and he nodded.

"And so Emmett agreed but only on the terms that he wouldn't go father then kissing me" I spoke, barley audibly. I felt Edward tense, his eyes darkened before he snapped them shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. I placed a hand on his face.

"Go on" He stated impassively, but through clenched teeth.

"And then I sat up straight and yelled, _Don't you dare!_ And that is when Alice stumbled into the room laughing" I concluded. He took that worse than I thought he would. But at least he hasn't torn anything to shreds...yet.

"I told Rose not to come within ten feet of you and Jasper should know better" I heard him mutter under his breath while shaking his head. His eyes opened suddenly. "Did Emmett _touch_ you? Cause if he laid one finger on your gorgeous body..." I placed a finger against his lips.

"Edward, other than scaring the crap out of me, I'm perfectly fine. This is how your family usually behaves towards me. Rose _is_ allowed to come near me, Emmett didn't" shudder "_touch_ me and Jasper didn't hurt me. Alice was just having her fun" I explained.

"Did you find it funny?" He enquired stiffly, his eyes boring into mine.

"N...no...I found it completely and utterly mortifying and insulting" I whispered breaking his gaze feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. His fingers turned my face towards his and he placed a slow kiss against my lips.

"That's all I needed to hear love" He slid out of the bed. "Please be here when I get back, if the others know what's good for them they WON'T disturb you" He ordered and promised. "Try to get some more sleep" he added as an afterthought.

"Edward what are you going to do?" I questioned. All he did was smile at me before slipping out of the room. I lay back down and pulled the covers around me before drifting back asleep.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

"Bella" An angel called to me in a velvety voice. My eyes slowly opened and I found Edward's topaz eyes staring into mine. He was lying next to me, stroking my face. I smiled at him, and noticed that he was sparkling. I traced is face with a finger.

"Morning" I sighed. He brushed his lips against mine.

"The sun's out" He murmured, lying down next to me and wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I can tell" There was some sunlight filtering through his curtains; illuminating his skin and making him seem so much more beautiful.

"Get dressed so that I can feed you and then we'll go outside" I nodded but made no move to get up. Almost instantaneously we were out of bed and I was cradled in Edward's arms. I looked up at Edward's face but his eyes weren't staring at mine. Nope, they were trained on my thighs that we revealed at the bottom of his shirt.

"My eyes are up here Edward" I announced dryly. He suddenly stared at me and I wished he hadn't. His eyes were deep pools of desire. I gulped.

"Get dressed love and meet me in the kitchen" He spoke quickly and before I knew it I was sitting on the couch alone. I pouted then walked over to his wardrobe.

"Alright! Whoever stole my clothes yesterday bring them back NOW!" I raised my voice. The door flew open and in strode Alice.

"Sit down, shut up and let me dress you. You owe me big time Bella. It's your fault Edward took all my Gucci and you're going to pay" I held my breath and sat down. Alice left the room and returned in seconds with not much.

"Alice...um...are they...um...even clothes?" I stared at the scraps of material.

"Yep, now put these on" I slid into the tiny denim shorts and the plaid top that ended just below my belly button. I looked like daisy duke, minus the double d part.

"There is no way I'm going downstairs, let alone outside in this...getup!" I complained.

"Yes, you are. It's just a bit of skin and some cleavage. Now sit so I can do your hair and makeup, oh and put these heels on" Alice pushed on my shoulder with more strength than she should have.

"OW! Alice damn it! That hurt" Stupid vampires with their stupid super human strength. I blinked back tears. "If you had of given me two more seconds I would have sat down on my own!" I cried. I watched Alice as a blank look crossed her face.

"Crap" She muttered before disappearing. Well this is just great! As if I'm not freaking damaged enough! Now if I stand up will she hurt me for it or is she not coming back? I sat on the couch holding my already bruising shoulder and waited for a minute before the door slammed open again. This time though, thankfully, it was Edward. But he looked very angry, his eyes black.

"Bella" He breathed, collecting me in his arms and holding me to his chest. So not the reaction I was expecting. I thought he was going to yell and scream death threats all over the place and punch a hole in the wall. Ouch, he just tightened his grip, PAIN PAIN PAIN.

"To tight Edward" I strangled out. My poor fragile body couldn't take much more of this, by the end of this week I might be going home dead. _Can _you go home dead? That doesn't seem possible, although you can wake up dead, like if you're a zombie or when you're changed into a vampire, or do you wake up undead...hmm...and if vampires are real does that mean zombies are also real...

"Bella what are you thinking?" I was snapped out of my deep and meaning full thoughts by Edward's anxious voice.

"Huh...oh, just about zombies" I muttered, still contemplating.

"Never know what to expect" I thought I heard him whisper under his breath.

"What was that?" I asked, trying to ignore his comment.

"Nothing, take off your shirt and let me see your shoulder" He demanded.

"Edward its fine it's just..."

"Bruised I know I get it!" He suddenly snapped.

"Why are you constantly trying to get me out of my clothes?" I enquired, blushing as I stood up, turning away from him. I was instantly pulled against his body.

"You're hurt Bella, I have a medical degree, well almost...can I not just want to check to see if you're ok?" His voice sounded sweet and caring...maybe I was just being an idiot, besides it didn't bother me that much if he did just want to ogle me, at least then I knew I was wanted.

"Whatever you want Edward" I shrugged and felt his grasp on me loosen. He then did something I would never have imagined.

"_I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself, ooh I don't want anybody else, oh no oh no oh no" _Edward sung. My mouth fell open and I knew I was blushing. His face suddenly became one of horror.

"Did I really just do that?" He whispered. I smiled and just nodded. He had a beautiful voice; I wished he would sing for me all the time. "JASPER I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" There's the Edward I love. I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Edward" I stated calmly. "What is going on with everyone today?" He turned to me and captured my lips quickly.

"Well love, when they upset you this morning" I interrupted.

"The first or second time?" I wondered.

"Both, I retaliated and now Alice is getting back at me by torturing you and hurting you although that hopefully wasn't intended and Jasper is screwing with my emotions and Emmett is at this moment in my closet filling all my shoes with mud" My head snapped to the closet door.

"Crap" I heard Emmett mutter, causing me to laugh.

"Five bucks Emmett! And I still haven't been paid for yesterday while I was gone" I smiled at him.

"Ten bucks" Edward announced gleefully. "Twenty" Emmett scowled and stomped out of the room, slamming the door.

"Did Nathaniel leave?" I suddenly wondered. Edward shook his head. The door flew open and there stood Carlisle dressed like an African safari hunter.

"Never fear! I will find the blood sucking, emotion altering fiend!" I watched my mouth agape as Carlisle snuck off down the hall, hiding in the shadows.

"Has your family always been this...crazy?" I was still astounded.

"Spring fever love, they just can't help it" Edward sighed. I frowned at him.

"Spring fever?" I repeated slowly. He nodded.

"It affects humans as well, you know that feeling when you're in school and you suddenly wish you were outside, enjoying the sun?" I snorted. The only time I enjoyed the sun was when I was with Edward and as for that feeling...

"I thought that was just boredom" I explained "And it isn't usually sunny in Forks anyway...this is the first day the sun's come out in months." Spring fever just sounded like an excuse to me.

"Exactly! As vampires we don't get a lot of chances to spend time in the sun...spring time just enhances that longing and tends to drive us all a little...crazy" He smiled looking off into the distance.

"Well maybe I should just go back home, that way you can all enjoy your _sun time_ and I won't be in the way to hinder your fun" I walked over to the door and pulled it open before Edward slammed it shut. I jumped backwards about three feet and held my now pounding heart.

"You, Bella my love, are not going anywhere. I won't be deprived of your company, I crave it, and I need it. I don't have fun when you're away from me" He had his arms around my waist now and his head was in the crook of my neck. "Stay with me Bella" Edward whispered kissing my neck. "I love you, don't go" He continued. "You're mine and I want you by my side" His words were making my heart flutter.

"Edward, you just had to ask, of course I'll stay if you want me to, I just thought you could have more fun with your family if I wasn't around" I stared at the ground.

"Bella" _Kiss_ "Don't" _kiss_ "be" _kiss, kiss_ "Ridiculous" He found my mouth briefly. "You are part of this family and you are my family, don't forget it" He pulled my wedding ring hand to his lips in a pointed gesture. "Mine" He kisses my hand again. I felt my knees grow weak...I loved it when he was all possessive, it was downright sexy.

"EDWARD!" I heard Rosalie scream shrilly. "MY THIGH HIGH LEATHER VERSACE BOOTS! HOW COULD YOU? I am going to get you and Bella for this!" Rose screeched. I knew all the blood that was in my face a few seconds ago had all drained away now.

"Right! That is it, Family Meeting NOW!" I heard Esme yell. Uh oh, we were all in trouble. Edward picked me up and we were in the living room in mere seconds...ha ha living room, and it's full of dead vampires...living! I started laughing and looked up to everyone staring at me.

'We're in the living room!" I choked out laughing. They all looked at me like I was crazy so I sobered up and elaborated. "Well, technically I'm the only one here still alive" I tried to explain.

"That was cold Bella" Emmett commented, but this set off my giggles again. They were cold! I was the warmest person in here.

"Bella! Vampires are people too!" I turned to Alice and started laughing harder; that was the funniest expression! I knew she meant I was hurting their feelings but still. Esme cleared her throat as her and Carlisle walked in. Carlisle was still dressed up like a poacher. I barely contained my laughter.

**REVIEW!! ha ha Vampires are people too!**


	13. Crying

**Ok so I think the characters are getting too crazy...this chapter will snap them back out of it and I will try to make them less OOC...but Nathaniel can make them OOC again later maybe so don't fret. So this chapter is not really funny...ok at the start it is but after that it's not...I was feeling emotional... so here goes!**

**We have previously established that im not Mrs Meyer.**

BPOV

Once I had regained my composure and had stopped laughing hysterically...which wasn't an easy feat considering Carlisle was dressed as a poacher and Rosalie still had orange skin and blue hair...I felt Edward intake a sharp breath.

"Esme, why, why would you even think of doing that?" He suddenly demanded. Uh oh, what was Esme thinking? Suddenly Alice froze and her eyes glazed over...another vision. She snapped out of it quickly.

"ESME! That is so cruel and unusual! NO!" Alice screamed. Other than Esme, Alice and Edward, the rest of us sat there looking confused. Carlisle even decided to take a large step away from Esme, a look of caution across his face. If Carlisle was scared, this can't be good.

"Hush children. It's only the second day of Spring Break and you've already managed to beat Bella to a pulp and destroy each other's precious and expensive possessions! And Bella, I would have thought you would have been more mature than to join in on this madness! In fact I believe you to be the instigator!" I stopped breathing...a mad Esme was truly terrifying...even if she wasn't a vampire I would still have this feeling of wanting to high tail it out of there.

"Bella stay!" Alice barked at me. I gulped and stared wide eyed at her.

"Bella please take a breath" Edward murmured in my ear. I kept my mouth shut. Maybe if I passed out I could get out of this crazy house. I continued to hold my breath and everyone stared at me, I knew my face must be turning red at this point but that just meant my plan was working.

"Dammit Bella! You aren't getting out of this!" Alice shrieked and before I knew had crossed the room, slapped my face and returned to her seat. All that alerted me of this was a stinging in my cheek and that I was now staring at the other side of the room. The impact had caused me to take a deep breath.

"For the love of humans! Alice that freaking hurt!" I heard Edward's loud growl from behind me. Everyone was so testy today sheesh! Including me! I felt Edward tense as if he was about to pounce. I put a hand on his arm.

"Allow me" I stated in a sickly sweet voice turning my attention slowly to Alice. Her eyes glazed over for a moment before she looked at me with fear.

"Don't you dare Bella!" She stood up and started running. I pulled a lighter out of my back pocket and started chasing her after her...although there was no way to catch her, this was too fun.

"Come here little pixie Alice...don't be scared of Bella and her fire; it won't hurt...much" I laughed as I heard Alice scream. I had just decided if I couldn't catch her I'd attack what was left of her wardrobe after Edward had been through it. Power was a wonderful thing.

"Where the hell did Bella pull a lighter from!" I heard Emmett roar with laughter.

"Five bucks Emmett!" I shouted back in response. After rounding the corner I collided with something very cold and solid. Sprawled out on the floor I kept my eyes shut.

"Ouch" I finally murmured. My back, ribs and head had just undergone another beating...all this pain was starting to catch up with me. I continued to just lie there; my eyes shut tight trying to will away the pain. I took a deep breath and instantly regretted it. Stupid vampires and their granite bodies.

"Bella, love...are you ok?" I listened to my angel's voice and felt him brush away a strand of my hair from my face. I whimpered in return, opened my eyes and tried to sit up in which I winced and melted back into the floor.

"She's in pain" Jasper answered for me somewhere on my left. I watched Edward's gaze turn from concern to anger and he whipped his head around to face someone else. I heard whispers of a conversation but continued to stare at the roof. I wonder who I ran into and why they didn't catch me.

"Enough Edward! This is exactly why this has to stop." I heard Esme's kind motherly voice reprimand.

"So you thought it was best to stand in Bella's way and purposely make her to get injured!" Edward yelled in return. I gasped raggedly. Esme! Man she really was evil when mad...and all over a house...now who's PMSing!

"Edward" Carlisle sighed. I felt cool arms wrap around me and I was lifted off the ground. I sighed in contentment, I loved being in Edward's arms...although I wouldn't tell him that he would probably carry me everywhere for the rest of eternity. Eternity...with Edward...and his family that hates me. I suddenly felt very depressed. I had only been with them for a total of twenty six hours and already I was hated and was getting punished. Maybe this wasn't the best idea to stay here...although how would I cope for the rest of forever! Poor Edward! I really am coming in the way of him and his family. I wouldn't be able to stay with them...and Edward couldn't leave them...that meant I would have to leave...and I'd be alone once again. I started crying then.

"Edward put me down" I sobbed "L..let m-me g..go Edward" I begged, crying uncontrollably. I felt a couch underneath me.

"Shhhhh Bella, it's ok, it's alright, love" He tried to sooth me but his actions just made me feel worse. I was now crying heart wrenching sobs.

"Just let me go Edward...I cant...they don't...I'm going home" I cried, turning away from him.

"What's wrong Bella!" I heard the panic and anxiety in his voice. GREAT! Now I'm putting him in even more pain. The tears trickled down my face faster.

"I'm so sorry Edward...I'm sorry" I wept. Unexpectedly, I found myself in Edward lap cradled to his chest.

"Bella tell me what this is about now!" He demanded. I shook my head no and tried to push away from him. He wouldn't let me budge. The door swung open and I heard Alice's voice.

"Bella how could you think that!" Alice cried.

"Think WHAT!" Edward yelled. I was hurting him again...my stupid freaky brain that he was unable to read. "Alice get out and let me talk to Bella" He ordered. As soon as the door clicked shut I felt his cool breath on my neck and ear.

"Isabella Cullen, you tell me what you're thinking this instant" My breath hitched...he just called me Isabella _Cullen._ But I would never be a Cullen! Tremors racked my body and I was shaking with sobs.

"Just let me go Edward" I bawled.

"No, why do you keep saying that" He sounded so determined.

"Because I_-hicc_- should leave" I whispered.

"Why?" He enquired quickly.

"They hate me Edward..._hicc..._I'm ruining your relationship_...hicc_...I can't Edward...I can't let me get between you and them..." I couldn't go on and I started pushing away from him again. He pulled me against him tightly and ran his hand through my hair.

"Who love?" He whispered in my ear.

"Your family" I whispered inaudibly. He froze. See! It was true.

"I'm going home Edward" I muttered sorrowfully, taking a breath, making my tears stop.

"How? You have no car and no-one here will take you" He returned rather sharply. I took a ragged breath. So now he hates me too. I willed myself not to cry. I pulled out of his arms and stood up shakily. My body ached.

"If it's like that Edward, I'll walk" I stated trying to keep the depression out of my voice. I turned away from him and took a step towards the door. He was instantly in front of me.

"How can you believe that Bella?" He whispered mournfully.

"Prior to contrary belief, I am able to walk" I muttered, the tears were welling up again and I blinked a few times.

"Not that Bella...how can you believe they hate you? And that I would ever let you walk home?" He asked gently, wrapping his arms around my waist, trapping me against him. I shook my head, a second ago he seemed really cold and now he was all caring and loving.

"Rosalie has always hated me...and Alice is always torturing me and forcing me to do things I don't want to, even though I really like spending time with her, it always has to be about trying to make me pretty which is impossible and pointless" He tried to cut me off but I kept going "And Emmett and Jasper are always mocking or taunting me and trying to get me to do stupid things. Jasper can't even be in the same room as me! He hates me because I tempt him to kill humans when he's worked so hard not to! and Esme...well I thought it was pretty clear by her actions today, and she's the one who stole my clothes to get back at me for putting a hole in her wall when everyone else does it on a daily basis but I'm the one who gets in trouble for it. I just don't belong Edward and they all know it and don't accept me, I don't even accept me Edward. You're the only one I feel comfortable around...but I can never live up to you Edward, you're so magnificent, no matter what you say you're not a monster! I feel like I'm breaking up your family and I can't do that!" I finished taking a deep breath as the tears spilled out of my eyes again. "And you just said that no-one here will drive me home" I muttered answering his second question.

"Bella, you do belong...even more so than the rest of us, you have helped bring us together, stronger than ever...without you we fall apart, we all love you and we're sorry we made you feel like an outcast" That wasn't Edward's voice, it was Carlisle's...I picked my head off Edward's shoulder and gasped as I saw everyone standing in the room. I tried again to pull away from Edward's grip but he pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead.

"My Bella, mine" Edward breathed into my ear, kissing my neck. I wanted to melt into his embrace but I couldn't, _you have to leave Bella!_ I shouted at myself. It didn't work. I found my body pressing against Edward's and my hands griping his shirt tightly.

"Bella, you are pretty and beautiful...and I don't hate you, I'm just jealous of you and you're humanity, but I love you as my sister I truly do" Rose spoke up, my eyes bugged out of my head. "I just wish you would reconsider sometimes, I would do anything to have children" She continued softly. I opened my mouth.

"I would do anything to stay with Edward forever. I've never wanted children Rose...ever...it was enough raising Renee and then coming here and supervising Charlie. And to have children I would have to give up Edward. Would you give up Emmett to have children Rose?" I asked timidly. I watched as comprehension finally dawned on her gorgeous face and she threw herself at Emmett.

"No, of course I wouldn't" She dry sobbed into Emmett shirt. He smiled at me.

"Bella, we tease you because we love you...it's just how we include you and show you that we love having you around" Emmett added with Jasper nodding along.

"And I don't hate you because of _my_ bloodlust Bella, in fact towards you I'm almost impervious now...I know how much you mean to Edward, I can _feel_ it, but not only Edward, all of us. I would never want to wreck that, so I channel that energy and put it to good use. Every time you walk in the door everyone's emotions elate, you bring us all happiness and remind us of how lucky we all are" Jasper walked up to me and pulled me from Edward's reluctant grip...and he hugged me. I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open but I patted his back lightly. He pushed me back to Edward and took a few steps back, smiling at me. "I've been wanting to try that for a while now" He beamed at me and I almost laughed. I felt a small smile playing at my lips.

"You're my daughter Bella, of course I don't hate you!" Esme cried indignantly. If she was human I'm sure she would be crying right now. "I love you, and I've been so harsh on you! I just let all my frustration of the past few decades from my other _children_ demolishing my house and furniture build up and I released it all towards you. I'm sorry Bella, can you forgive me? Please?" She was sobbing in Carlisle's arms. I had managed to turn this family of tough vampires to tears.

"There is nothing to forgive Esme, I deserve your anger" I replied sadly.

"NO!" Esme yelled, causing me to flinch. "Don't be so selfless Bella. I hurt you Bella! Why are you not angry at me!" I blinked my eyes a few times...why wasn't I angry...

"Because I respect you" I countered softly. It was the truth, Esme was always so compassionate, she had to get mad sometimes; it was inevitable, she should just let it out more frequently so as to refrain from massive anger explosions.

"Oh Bella" She wept hugging me while I was still in Edward's arms. He stiffened. I punched his arm lightly so as to not hurt myself further.

"Hug your mother" I scolded. He smiled at me and released me, crushing Esme in a hug that would have shattered all my bones. Edward quickly let her go and encased me in his arms.

"But there is something I'm wondering about Bella" Esme posed. I met her warm, loving eyes...hopefully she was over her pent up anger for another few decades...I had missed caring Esme. I inclined my head, waiting.

"How did you know it was me who had stolen your clothes?" I smiled and there was a collective gasp around the room.

"You really stole her clothes?" Emmett demanded. Carlisle and everyone else looked shocked...how had Alice not seen it happening and how had Edward not read her mind?

"Well Edward would never do that...he just has to ask if he wants me to wear something...Alice was too angry that she hadn't thought to do it first and Jasper and Emmett would brag about it" I shrugged. "Carlisle would sit me down and lecture me on proper dress etiquette if he was that disturbed by what I wear so that could only leave you, and you should have seen the look on your face when you saw the hole in the wall" I shivered again...Esme should never look so livid, it was most unnatural. "And by stealing my clothes you gave me the worst possible revenge...forcing Alice to dictate my wardrobe and giving her an excuse for taking me shopping" I finished. Esme nodded while everyone else stared at me.

"Just because I'm human doesn't mean I'm clueless or unintelligent...I can be observant when I want to" I mumbled feeling a blush rise in my cheeks. Edward leaned down and kissed my cheek lightly.

"Bella..." Alice began uneasily. I kept my eyes on the floor. "Why didn't you just tell me you didn't like makeovers" She whined.

"SHE DOES!" Everyone in the room yelled causing me to jump. My heart was thudding against my chest.

"Sure, give the poor human a heart attack, she can take it" I muttered trying to focus on breathing.

"Bella, I don't get why" Alice complained. "Makeovers and shopping are fun!" She squealed. I would never get Alice to understand. I took a deep breath...might as well try.

"It may be fun for you Alice, but it isn't for me. I grew up with no money...I had to be responsible and learn to budget...you can spend thousands of dollars in one shop without a second glance and on me!" I shook my head; this was not the right tactic. "I understand that your passionate about it and that you want to share your passion with me and you want it to make me happy like it does you...but that's just not me and it won't ever be. Do you realise Alice the only time we spend together is shopping or you giving me makeovers...I really like spending time with you but we never do something I like to do."

"You only like to _do _Edward" Emmett snorted.

"Do none of you truly have any idea what my interests are?" I glanced at Alice fleetingly and she had a carefully blank face. No one answered my question so I continued as if I hadn't asked it. "And Alice, when you spend hours upon hours messing with my face and hair and then take minutes to get ready yourself...never mind" I couldn't admit that she just undoes all the hard work she's done trying to convince me that I'm pretty in those brief minutes. "Did you ever think I might want to have a go at giving you a makeover or learning how to do my own make up?" My voice trembled and I stared back at the floor as a silence fell over the room. Even _I_ could hear my heart beat!

"Well what does interest you Bella?" Jasper asked curiously. I shook my head back and forth.

"Forget I said anything, it doesn't matter anyway most of them are silly, you wouldn't want to know" I blurted out quickly. Did this not feel awkward to anyone else! I'm standing in Edward's arms and everyone else is staring at me...ok well it's not _that_ unusual but we don't usually get all touchy feely and emotional.

"Later Bella, you will tell me later" Jasper smiled before entwining his hand with Alice's and leaving the room. Everyone else quickly followed, leaving Edward and I alone. I heard the front door slam and I looked up at Edward.

"They've all gone out to give us some privacy for a little while" Edward murmured in my ear. I sighed, truly happy for the first time all day, in the place I was meant to be...in Edwards's arms.

**REVIEW! I promise i'll get back to humour and romance next chapter...i just didnt like where the charaters were going...anywho! Edward is so sweet and loving...sigh**


	14. Buzzing

**A really long chapter to make up for my not updating...i'm so sorry, but when you have to get up at 430am to go to work all week (seven days) when you're on uni break talk to me then...anywho**

**Ok so this story is set like after everything that has occurred in Eclipse, but let's just pretend that they haven't graduated yet and that the war happened on a long weekend or something. So Edward and Bella are engaged, Jacob is off frolicking in the wilderness and Bella isn't in any immediate danger. **

**PS. This chapter was inspired by something that happened to my sister...I found it absolutely hilarious at the time, but now that I think about it it's not that funny.**

BPOV

Edward spun me around and kissed my lips, slowly yet passionately. He didn't pull back; _I had to_ due to my lack of oxygen. Edward leaned his forehead against mine.

"I thought you promised you would never say those words to me again" He breathed holding me close to him.

"You asked what I was thinking...I can't lie to you Edward...I'm sorry" I closed my eyes and tried to turn my head away from him but his lips found mine and held me captive.

"Love, I always want to know what you're thinking, how many times do we have to go through this...and I'm glad you don't lie to me, it makes me able to trust your words and promises all that much more. I love you Bella, and so does _our_ family, I hope you realise that now" I nodded and smiled at him. "Good, and next time you're feeling worry or anxiety about _anything_ talk to me first before you get hysterical. That's what a husband is for my love; you are supposed to share your problems and concerns with me." My heart fluttered at the use of husband. I'll admit that I was still against the idea of marriage so young...but to be married to Edward...It made me feel like smiling and doing a happy dance...although any form of me dancing usually ends in disaster for someone...usually me... I was damaged enough.

"Something you want to share my love?" Edward enquired, nuzzling my neck.

"I just love the sound of _you_ being my husband" I admitted shyly. All of a sudden we were on his bed. Edward was on top of me, holding his weight off me, but kissing me senseless none the less.

"Say it again" Edward growled playfully kissing along my jaw. His tongue flicked out before he kissed me once more pulling back to study my face.

"My soon to be Husband" I smiled at him warmly, tracing his face. He captured my lips for a deep kiss. His tongue traced my lips and I smiled against his.

"And you're mine, my fiancé and soon to be wife" My heart fluttered once again and a bright smile appeared on Edward's face. He leaned down and brushed my lips lightly with his.

"I love you Edward" I whispered softly against his lips.

"I love you too my Bella" He returned in the same fashion before catching my lips with his again.

EPOV

My Bella, My fiancé, My love, Mine. Beautiful, Sexy, Cute, Loving, Perfect. I showered her skin and face in kisses, paying special attention to her luscious, soft lips. They were so enticing. Her words had made me the happiest vampire in existence. We stayed intertwined, sharing one of our few truly private moments, which, as always was rudely interrupted by my family...again. I thought they said they were going to leave us alone for a while. I broke away from Bella's lips and glanced at the clock...oh...they had been gone for over an hour. I wish I could kiss Bella for days on end...well soon I would be able to...she would become just like me, dammed for eternity.

"Edward, being with you is better than being in heaven, I couldn't imagine anything better...I don't want my soul if it will take me away from you" Is Bella a mind reader now? How did she know I was thinking that?

"Your eyes go darker and you get this little crease in your forehead, not to mention your troubled expression Edward" She smiled sadly at me but it didn't reach her eyes. I know she wanted me to accept this, that I was hurting her by not, but while I had come to terms with her change and I did want her by my side for all of time, I still did not want to turn her into a...

"You're not a monster Edward. Trust me; while I might only want to see the best in you, I can still see the bad, the good just out weighs it by far." She looked sad as she traced the light purple bags under my eyes. "I know Edward, and I forgive you for what you've done, why can't you forgive yourself" Bella looked like she was in deep contemplation. Her words always soothed me, even when I didn't want them to. I kissed her frown and then bent down to her ear.

"The others are back Bella" My lips brushed her soft skin and I had to use a large portion of my willpower to resist kissing her again. My bloodlust for her had pretty much faded into nothingness, but now I lusted for something else...

_God, they're going to be going at it like rabbits as soon as Bella's changed..._ Rose's thoughts reached me.

_Edward would you and Bella come down stairs please_. Esme's voice echoed in my mind. Another wonderful thing about Bella, we could sit in silence and she would not intrude on my thoughts...the negative side being I could never know what she was thinking except those few brief moments when she confided them in me. I jumped off the bed swinging Bella into my arms and ran her down the stairs to the living room. We were seated, her in my lap, in mere seconds.

"Edward!" Bella yelled. Oops, I forgot to warn her...again.

"Sorry love, it just feels so natural to have you in my arms" I gave her a crooked smile and she giggled and blushed.

"Settle down children" Esme smiled around at us, but I knew we were still being punished, and it was far from enjoyable.

"I'm still upset that you all went so far with your little games...even I succumbed, so as punishment I have decided that we will all be eating human meals with Bella for the rest of the week" She continued to smile like she hadn't just told us we would be vomiting our guts up for the next six nights. Oh goody, my favourite way to pass time! Wow...being sarcastic in my mind doesn't really work out so good.

"Esme...isn't it...very unpleasant...wont it make you all sick?" My always thoughtful Bella. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"We're being punished Bella, it's not supposed to be pleasant" I murmured in her ear.

"What about Bella?" Emmett suddenly asked. I wanted to growl at him and condemn him for bringing my Bella back into this.

"Bella's already been punished; Alice gets to dress her for the rest of the week...within reason that is Alice" Esme turned and smiled at Alice who was bouncing, once again, in her seat which just happened to be Jasper's lap. He didn't seem too phased though. Bella was slowly shaking her head.

BPOV

Ok...I can deal with Alice dressing me for the week right? I mean how many times a day can I change outfits...two, maybe three...oh god she could abuse her privilege and redress me all day! No no, no!! I can't do this, I'll take any other form of punishment just not this!

EPOV

I was getting worried now; Bella had stopped breathing and was very pale.

"Bella" I murmured stroking her cheek. This seemed to snap her out of it, she took a deep breath, but when her eyes focused on mine they were full of horror.

"What? What is it Bella?" I demanded, placing both hands on her face, keeping my eyes locked on hers. Her glance flickered over to Alice and then Esme before meeting mine again. The room was silent, everyone's eyes on Bella.

"Edward imagine how many times she'll want to dress me a day...I won't get to spend any time with you...and night time...Oh god Edward! She would make me wear" Bella shuddered violently before barely whispering "Lingerie" I frowned at Bella, surely Alice wouldn't do that. I peered Alice's mind.

_How did Bella Know! Oh well, this will be so exciting! I bet I can get through my six most favourite designers spring lines! Ooh Bella will look so cute! Maybe I'll make a run way in my room and make her parade around for me! Yay! This is going to be so much fun! And at night time Edward won't know what hit him! I have so many babydolls and corsets and lingerie pieces I want Bella to wear! It will make him squirm! He won't be able to resist her. Oh...wait...ha ha, I love my visions, Bella will be so embarrassed! But I don't care, she needs to get her woman on some time...and it's just prudish Edward, why is she even embarrassed at being half naked around him?_

HALF NAKED!!

"Esme take back Bella's punishment! Please I'll eat human food for a year just please, please don't let Alice get her hands on her! I would not wish that upon my worst enemy let alone Bella! She's going to embarrass Bella and keep her locked in her room all day long making her parade around in spring fashion lines!" I shuddered staring at Alice in horror...would she never stop?! Did Bella just not explain to her how she loathed fashion, shopping and makeovers...this was probably close to Bella's hell on Earth...well next to me leaving...that made me sound self absorbed, I think my ego is growing an ego... I gazed at Bella and noticed she had stopped breathing again!

"Breathe Bella, I won't let her do that to you, you can wear my clothes" I smiled at the thought...I loved seeing Bella in my shirts...it made her look amazingly sexy. I wrapped my arms around her tighter and kissed her lips once...twice...three times before I turned my begging eyes back to Esme...she did have final say after all.

"I knew this would get out of hand...alright rules" Esme mused smiling still. "Ah perfect!" Esme focused on Bella, who shrunk into my side. Alice groaned.

"That's not fair Esme!" Alice complained aloud quietly...mentally was a different story.

_She cannot be serious! I had this all planned out! Bella was going to be my fashion slave! NOOOOO!! Stupid Edward! Stupid Bella! _

I growled at her but she just continued her rant.

_Stupid Esme! I want my fashion show! I hate this!_

"Right, Alice you may only dress Bella once a day, day meaning when she wakes up in the morning not before. You cannot intentionally wreck the outfit she's wearing, if she does need to change she will chose clothes herself from your selection...and as for night time; that is entirely up to Bella what she wishes to sleep in" Esme smiled lovingly at Bella and then at me. I returned it, relieved and thankful that Bella wasn't going to be tortured by Alice...and that I wasn't going to have to deal with Bella wearing nothing but lingerie...hmmm although she _would _look absolutely riveting... I felt Bella relax into me and I leaned down to kiss her when someone coughed. My gaze shot up and I stared menacingly at every single one of my family members...who dared stop me from kissing my love!

"Calm down Edward" Jasper spoke smiling at me...what did he want...I tuned into his thoughts...

_All day long I think about sex and all night long I think about sex and all...oh wait! This one's even better...You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel...How'd you like them eggs Edward! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! Ha ha ha! No seriously Edward, calm down and stay out of my head._

I growled at him and he flicked his eyes to Bella. I growled again louder.

"Edward, Esme said you had to share Bella...Bella would you object greatly to spending a few hours with me? I've never really been able to be around you much and I would really like to get to know you. You don't really have a choice Edward, it's Bella's decision" I was glaring at Jasper but softened my gaze as I stared down into Bella's anxious eyes. I leaned down to kiss her softly and nobody interrupted this time. I knew Bella didn't really like personal displays of affection, so when I pulled back she was bright red, but the worry from her eyes was gone.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours love" I murmured, panic flashed in her eyes momentarily before she masked it. I knew whenever I left her it caused her pain, even if I was just gone for a few minutes. I also knew she tried her hardest to hide it from me.

"You don't have to go Edward" She whispered, not meeting my gaze. I pulled her to my lips again.

"If I stay in this house with you Bella you won't last ten minutes with Jasper because I'll steal you back all for myself" I admitted with a smile. "I'll go shopping...or for a run" She met my gaze now, she gave a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. I hate myself for causing her this pain.

"Have fun" She whispered looking at her hands. I looked back up around the room and realised we'd been left alone.

"Bella" I whispered pulling her into my lap. "What's wrong my love?" She suddenly smiled a wicked smile.

"Nothing, I just wanted to be able to say goodbye to you properly without an audience" She turned around so that she was straddling me. I rested my hands on her hips, where her soft skin was showing and brought her closer to me as my lips attacked hers...gently. Her hands ran up my chest and behind my neck, moulding us even closer together. Another fake cough sounded behind us and both Bella and I groaned. I pulled away from Bella's lips, kissing up and down her neck while glaring at Jasper. He got to spend the next few hours with her! What were a few minutes to him? I reclaimed Bella's lips until I heard...

_Sweat baby, sweat baby, Sex is a Texas drought, Me and you do the kind of stuff, That only Prince would sing about, So put your hands down my pants, And I bet you'll feel nuts! ...You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel, getting horny now!_

Jasper was shouting out the song in his mind. I put up with it as long as I could until I growled and reluctantly pulled away from Bella. I captured her lips for one last quick kiss.

"Goodbye love, I'll be home soon" I kissed her neck once before shifting her off me and sitting her on the couch.

"I love you Edward" She breathed quietly. I chuckled, capturing her lips once more.

"I love you too" I smiled before sprinting out of the house.

BPOV

There goes Edward...again. My heart started aching...the pain was minimal but it was still there. I stared after where Edward had run. I didn't even notice that Jasper had sat next to me until he spoke.

"He's coming back Bella, there's no reason to be upset, he needs you as much if not more than you need him" Jasper took my hand in his. "Come on lets walk" He dragged me along after him. He was walking at more my running pace. I stumbled and fell; my hand still in his, unable to break my fall. An inch before I slammed into the ground, an arm wrapped around my waist holding me up.

"Hmm, sorry Bella, ok I guess I have to walk slower" Jasper muttered standing me upright and offering me his arm. I hesitated and he hooked my arm through his, tugging me forward once again, this time at a much slower pace. We walked out the backdoor and into the sun. The sun. I gasped as I turned and watched as Jasper sparkled. It was not quite as magnificent as Edward but still impressive. We walked on in silence, following a little track that lead into the forest. I glanced at Jasper warily.

"I'm not taking you into the forest to eat you Bella...Edward would rip me limb from limb...not to mention Alice or Esme...Carlisle would probably disown me...and Emmett and Rose would make me suffer for the rest of my existence." He flashed a smile at me as we headed into the shaded trees, the sunlight not so bright underneath the canopy, only some filtered through. The warmth felt nice on my skin...I was amazed it could be so warm in Forks.

"Do you like the warmth?" I suddenly wondered. I knew Edward like to lie around in the sun...I wonder if Jasper was the same.

"Honestly, I still find it a bit weird to be outside in the daytime, especially when the sun is shinning...I don't mind it though, it warms my skin, kind of like you do" He seemed to carefully weigh his answer. "I never really ...you are very warm and your skin is so soft...I guess I really never noticed...before" He looked at me thoughtfully. I knew exactly what he meant; he hadn't ever been this physically close to a human before long enough to experience our anatomy. "I never realised how hard it is to try to be gentle with you and _not _crush you" He continued to muse. I liked Jasper, he was direct, he didn't spare my feelings, and he didn't try to protect me from the truth. We walked on in silence for what seemed like miles.

"Ok" Jasper suddenly exclaimed and sat down on the ground, gesturing for me to take a seat. I shrugged and plopped down about a yard away from him. I was exhausted and my back and ribs were aching. After I caught my breath I enquired...

"How far did we walk?" We were sitting on the trail in full sunlight now. I lifted my wrist and examined my crescent shaped scar that glimmered in the sunlight.

"Just over a mile and a half" He leaned back on his arms and watched me carefully. I didn't feel scared or frightened around Jasper...wary maybe, a little uncomfortable yes, but mostly just curious...about why he wanted to spend time with _me_...Edward I could...well no I still couldn't understand _why _he wanted to spend time with me just that he did. We sat in silence for another few minutes, ok now I was uncomfortable, this was awkward.

"Did you want to talk about something?" I questioned, staring at my hands.

"I've been thinking about how to go about doing just that, you see I want to ask you some questions but..." He paused, looking at me intently again.

"Ask away, if I don't like the question I won't answer it, simple as that" I stared off into the green forest. It seemed so much more comforting when the sun was shinning...not intimidating.

"Well, you see...something you said, it rather bothers me" Jasper waited until I met his eyes before continuing. "When you asked us if we knew what your interests are...well none of us, besides Edward, really do, you would not believe the amount of guilt that was floating around in that room" Jasper shook his head, disappointed I think.

"It doesn't bother me" I muttered drawing my eyes away from his sparkling skin. I didn't really have that many interests and they were fairly boring.

"I wish to know" Jasper stated calmly. I could feel waves of comfort and reassurance flowing around me, he was softening me up.

"Stop toying with my emotions and I might tell you" I tried to be angry but it came out pleasant. He nodded and I suddenly felt disinterested again.

"I like to read...classics are my favourite, Shakespeare, Jane Austen, you know, Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights..." I paused thinking of my battered old books sitting at Charlie's house.

"What else?" He was leaning forward now, hanging on my every word.

"Uh...well, I really like to cook" Hmm what other interests did I have...most of my other interests revolved around Edward, like listening to music, travelling, I liked dancing...but only with Edward...OH! " I'm fluent in French" I admitted. That was something that interested me...I could read the classics in French.

"Really!" Jasper seemed to be getting rather excited. "I bet Edward doesn't even know that!" He was like a giddy school boy...how bizarre.

"It's never come up, no" I shrugged, frowning slightly. Would it really interest Edward? He could probably speak _every_ language...

"What else?" Jasper was very eager now...I'm sure this wasn't that exciting

"I like to ride motorcycles" Well I did...when I used to hang out with Jacob...now he was gone...

"I wouldn't think Edward would let you on something so potentially dangerous, especially with your lack of balance" Jasper was almost laughing, his lips pressed into a tight smile.

"I took it up when...he left...that's why you have a motorbike actually" I murmured, frowning and studying my hands. I hated talking about when Edward left...it made my heart throb with pain...opening up the old wound.

"What else did you get up to while we were...away...if you don't mind me asking?" He seemed cautious but curious. I took a deep breath.

"Did no-one else inform you? I thought there were no secrets in your family?" I countered, trying to get off topic.

"There aren't any secrets in _our _family Bella...but no-one likes to talk about it...and I never got the full story" His voice was quiet and calm now. I nodded, understanding.

"I didn't get up to much...I didn't really eat...or sleep...or talk..." I felt tears welling up in my eyes; I took a deep breath and shook my head. Edward was back, he'd been back for a while and we were engaged, he wasn't going to leave ever again. "But then I sort of woke up...I guess I saw how I was torturing Charlie...anyway, I realised when I did something dangerous...i could here Edward's voice...so first I approached a bunch of drunk men, I rode motorbikes, went hiking, hung around a group of temperamental werewolves...and jumped off a cliff" I think that was probably the best summary I could give. I met Jasper's gaze hesitantly. He nodded and dropped the subject.

JPOV

Bella and I were sitting in silence again. I didn't really want to say anything else...almost everything I said so far had upset her...caused her pain. I stared at her. She was laying on her back, soaking up the sun. It was weird hanging out with a human...even if it was just Bella. Suddenly Bella sat up straight and screamed.

"Ow, ow, ow ow!" She jumped to her feet and started running around. I slowly rose to my feet and watched...what was wrong? Why was she in pain? I watched as she ran, paused, looked down her shirt, screamed again before pulling off her top. She ran into the forest. I stared after her...it was like a train wreck...I just couldn't look away. Abruptly I found myself on my back with Edward pining me down snarling.

"What did you do to BELLA!" He growled. Man did he look mad.

"Damn right I'm mad!" Dude Chillax. I replayed the past three hours in my mind quickly and he jumped off me.

"Oh...sorry" He stated, pulling me to my feet as Bella ran back past us and into the forest on the other side of the trail...whimpering now. She had scratches along her hands, knees and torso...I could smell the blood but held my breath and focused intently on not killing Bella. _I can't kill Bella, she's my little sister and I love her._ I repeated this over and over until I quelled the monster inside me. Edward watched me carefully, trying to determine whether he would have to pounce on me. _I'm fine_ I spoke in my mind.

"I'm glad, I'd hate to have to kill you" Edward stated calmly. Bella ran out of the forest once more and Edward caught her, hugging her to his chest. She was crying.

"Bella love what's wrong?" He asked softly. I don't know how he was always so gentle with Bella...I had to concentrate very hard just to hold her hand without breaking it, yet he embraced her lovingly without a second thought. Love was a powerful thing. Oh hang on, Bella's answering.

"Bees, they're stinging me Edward, they keep chasing me, get them away!" She cried holding onto him.

"And why did you take off your top?" He wondered, his eyes travelling down her exposed body. She was just wearing a lacy blue bra and mini denim shorts. I could feel the lust radiating off him, but his concern for her safety overpowered it.

"There were bees in it" She was sobbing. I suddenly found this whole situation extremely amusing. Only Bella would get attacked by a swarm of bees! I suppressed my laugh as Edward glared at me menacingly.

"Shut up Jasper. She could be allergic" Edward whispered quietly to me. I reluctantly stopped my silent laughter.

"Show me where you're stung my love." Edward's voice was calm and gentle.

"Please Edward, I don't want to get stung anymore!" I looked around. I didn't see any bees...probably Edward's presence had scared them away from her.

"They're gone love" He cupped her face in his hand. "You're safe now" He murmured. Bella pulled away from the safety of his chest and pointed to a trail of little red bumps along her skin. I counted eight. Edward exhaled in relief.

"Good, you're not allergic. Now where's your shirt? I'll get rid of the bees and you can get dressed before we go back to the house" He smiled at her and she nodded, wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry Edward...I overreacted, it didn't really hurt that much" Bella whispered, staring at the ground.

"It's fine love, but the screaming scared me and you weren't with Jasper, he could have helped you, animals have an aversion to him too" He had a small smile on his lips. "You didn't have to cut yourself up about it and drag yourself through the forest." He was breathing so easily even though Bella was bleeding...how does he do it?!

"Oh" I felt her embarrassment before I saw the blood flow into her face. She suddenly stumbled back from Edward and I. "Sorry, go, both of you. I'll walk back by myself...I didn't...sorry, go" She blurted out quickly. I felt the agony emanate from Edward. He took a few steps forward and collected Bella in his arms again.

"Bella, love, it's fine...I'm not going to hurt you, it doesn't bother me at all" He assured her. She tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he held tight.

"Not at all Bella, I'm not going to lose you again" He insisted lightly. He turned to me. "Jasper" Uh oh. "Could you protect Bella from bees while I get her shirt" I nodded but didn't dare take a breath. Did Edward really trust me that much! To leave me alone with Bella while she was bleeding! I was having a hard enough time as it was and I was fifty yards away.

"I have confidence in you Jasper, you know how important Bella is to me" I nodded and Edward deposited Bella in my arms before walking into the forest. I knew Bella had only thrown it in a little ways.

"Jasper, you don't have to really, go back to the house" She struggled against me and tried to push me off her and back in the direction towards the house. I shook my head and concentrated on not harming her. Why the hell was Edward taking so long! _It Bella, Edward's Bella, you cant harm her, she's your sister, she told only you that she speaks French, she trusts you not to hurt her, Alice would never speak to you again.._. I listed all the negatives of killing Bella and it distracted me greatly. I didn't even realise Edward was standing beside us, trying to pull Bella out of my arms.

"Let go Jasper, I've got it from here, thankyou" Edward smiled at me. A real smile, he smiled...wow, I've only ever seen him smile like that at Bella before...ew, does that mean Edward loves me! _Dude, gross, I don't swing that way, imagine how upset Bella will be if you turn gay! And then I'd owe Emmett five thousand dollars! _I teased smiling at them both. Edward took a step towards me but I was already running back to the house, immensely proud of myself for not harming Bella. The last words I heard were...

"Why didn't you tell me you can speak French?"

**SO yes me and my sister were outside and suddenly she's like **_**OUCH!**_** And I was like **_**there is a bee on your shirt**_**. She screamed, stripped off her shirt and started running around in circles screaming her head off while I stood to the side laughing my ass off...i guess you had to be there.**


	15. Doctoring

**Wow. I can't believe how many of you have been stung by bees before, like the majority of people who reviewed...I've only ever been stung by wasps...**

**BTW minor sexual themes in this chapter...just warning you**

**I own nothing**

EPOV

"_Why didn't you tell me you can speak French?"_

Bella can speak French...the language of love...and she didn't tell me?

"You never asked and I didn't think it was that important. I mean you can probably speak hundreds of languages right?" _Everything _about her was important! She stood there with her arms folded across her chest while I held her shirt in my hand. Most of her scratches had stopped bleeding...but her gorgeous body was just so tempting...tempting the _man_ within me...Stop it Edward, you just can't have your way with her out in the forest...although she probably wouldn't mind...NO!...And she's in pain, her bruises, scratches and stings, it would be uncomfortable for her...so take her back to the house and...

"Edward" My eyes refocused and met her striking brown ones.

"Mmmmm" I replied trying to pull myself together. A delicate blush rose in her cheeks. God, she was certainly testing my willpower today...

"Can I please have my shirt back?" Bella mumbled, staring at the ground. I chuckled and took a step closer to her, holding the shirt open so she could slip her arms through the sleeves. She slowly complied, shooting me cautious glances every few second. Once she had her arms through I pulled her closer to me and began leisurely re-buttoning her shirt, placing delicate kisses as I went. Bella stood completely frozen to the spot. When I finished her top button, I carefully pulled her hair out from underneath her shirt and laid it over one of her shoulders. Leaning closer to her, I kissed a sensitive spot just below her ear.

"I could get used to doing that, thank you" I murmured softly against her skin. Her ragged breathing hitched before she exhaled.

"Anytime" She returned softly.

"Careful what you promise my love" I chuckled in her ear as her heart beat picked up tempo. I kissed my way along her jaw till I found her mouth. She returned my tender kiss. I held her hips in my hands as she pulled away leaning against my chest.

"Edward, you're driving me crazy" She groaned still catching her breath.

"Join the club" I pressed a kiss on her collar bone and sucked slowly, flicking my tongue out once.

"God, Edward" She moaned. How I wish I could elicit that glorious sound from her all the time. I captured her lips with my own for a quick kiss before taking a step back from her enticing body.

"Let's head home love" I smiled serenely at her intertwining my hand in hers.

"Such a tease" She scolded lightly. I flashed another smile. "But, do you really think I should go back to the house...bleeding?" I sighed. She was right, just because I was impervious to her blood now didn't mean everyone else was. I scooped her up gently in my arms and held her to my chest as I took off running for the river, reaching it within seconds. I set her down on a flat rock right next to the river. We were both in the direct sunlight now and I could feel Bella's gaze on my body.

"I'll be back in a second Bella, don't move" I gave her a swift kiss before racing back to the house. I collected a portable first aid kit...something that we didn't own before Bella...and a wash cloth and towel, before sprinting back out of the house to my Bella. When I returned she had her head rested on her knees and was staring out at the water. I slowly approached her, trying not to startle her.

BPOV

He'll be back in a second Bella, relax. I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them, staring at the water. The sound of it trickling by was soothing. I felt someone sit down next to me and picked up my head. It was Edward. I smiled at him and he grinned in return placing a cool hand on my cheek. I noticed he had placed a first aid kit, a towel and wash cloth on the rock. Dipping a hand in the water I instantly pulled it out. The water was freezing even though the sun was out.

"There is no way I'm going swimming Edward, the water is beyond cold" I shuddered and wrapped my arms around my chest. He started chuckling and the light danced off him beautifully.

"You don't have to go swimming my love, I was just going to clean your scratches and put some bandaids on. Is that all right?" He seemed highly amused at my refusal to submerge my body in ice water. I stretched my legs back out and noticed my scuffed up knees. I sighed and turned my palms face up and realised they were dirty and bloody as well. I extend my hands towards him and closed my eyes.

"Do your worst" I sighed. I heard him laugh before he took one of my hands in his and delicately placed the now wet cloth against it. I opened one of my eyes and watched him adeptly clean my hands, removing dirt and blood. He then grabbed the towel and dried them before grabbing what looked to be disinfectant...nope Betadine. I winced slightly as he wiped it carefully over my raw hands.

"Sorry love" He murmured pulling out a large square Bandaid and placing it over my palm. He continued the process with my other hand before moving on to my knees and tending to them.

"Lift up your shirt" He instructed and I did as he said, revealing my stomach that was scratched and stung. Carefully he cleaned my superficial wounds and repeated the disinfecting and bandaging process once again. He smiled once he had finished and tugged my shirt back down.

"Much better" Edward leaned in and kissed my lips softly.

"Thank you" I replied warmly. "Am I decent now?" I enquired playfully. Edward cracked a small smile.

"C'mon on" I let him pull me off the rock and into his strong arms and we took off back to the house. Suddenly we came to an abrupt stop and we weren't in the house. I heard a low growl come from Edward's chest.

"What? Who? What's wrong?" I demanded as Edward stood frozen still.

"Mike" He hissed. "They let Mike in the house; apparently he's waiting for _you_ to return home" Edward was speaking rather quickly and angrily but I managed to follow.

"But the sun's out! He'll see you in all your sparkly glory" I exclaimed. The frown dissolved off Edward face and he grinned crookedly down at me.

"Sparkly glory?" He raised a quizzical eyebrow at me and his smile widened. The blush rose up in my cheeks and I turned my face away. Edward slowly set me on my feet. I tried to take a step away from him but he held onto my hands.

"Bella" He murmured teasingly.

"Fine, your light refracting condition" I corrected, still trying to pull away from him. He chuckled and pulled me towards him.

"Silly Bella" He whispered before kissing me. "And don't worry; the sun will disappear in..." He cocked his head to the side "Two minutes and thirty one seconds, leaving us..." He listened again to what I assumed was Alice's thoughts "A six minute window to walk from these shadows across the yard and into the house" He continued smiling at me.

"This is going to be embarrassing isn't it" I groaned burying my face in Edward's shirt.

"With Emmett there, without a doubt, however I'm uncertain as to whom he will embarrass more: you, Mike or me." The amused expression didn't leave his face. I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Arg! I'm going to die of embarrassment, what a way to go" I mumbled thumping my head gently against Edward's chest. Edward caught my chin to prevent me from doing myself further damage.

"I can assure you I won't let that happen" He was still smiling smugly at me.

"It's an expression Edward, not literal" I whined. "How about we just don't go home? How long will it take him to go away?" I enquired hopefully. Edward was already shaking his head.

"He's determined to wait all day if he has to" I groaned again and closed my eyes.

"And what exactly does he wish to discuss?" I wondered anxiously.

"He keeps changing his mind, but mostly he just wants to observe how I treat you, I think" Edward looked puzzled...Mike's mind must be a mess. "Ah, time to go love" Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me through the trees and into the small clearing that surrounded the house. We walked up to the backdoor and entered without incident. Wow, I actually made it more than ten yards without tripping! It's a miracle! Just as I was celebrating I stumbled over a rug but was held upright by Edward's arms.

"You did well to make it that far love. Emmett bet you wouldn't make it to the house without falling, he now owes Jasper a hundred dollars" Edward breathed quietly in my ear. I smiled, Emmett was always making loosing bets...I guess that's what happens when you bet against someone who's married to a physic.

"Glad to contribute to Jasper's ever growing trust fund" I muttered.

"We're back!" Edward shouted unnecessarily, but I guess for Mike's sake...shudder...this is going to be unpleasant.

"In the living room" I heard Alice holler. I could practically hear the bounce in her voice she was that excited. Edward kept his arms around me and guided me into the living room. All the curtains and shutters had been drawn inside the house. Only Carlisle, Esme and Nathaniel were absent, and hopefully the last would remain permanently gone. Emmett and Alice both had dirty great big smiles on their faces while Jasper and Rosalie were simply smirking. Mike looked uncomfortable and was gawking at Rosalie and her...colourful predicament.

"You two have been gone for a while" Alice smiled evilly.

"Nice hickey Bella" Emmett boomed with laughter as I flushed bright red with embarrassment and turned to face Edward.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN! YOU DID WHAT?!" I screeched. He pulled me to him swiftly and kissed my lips softly.

"I guess being one with nature just took on a _whole_ new meaning for you two huh?" Jasper smiled mischievously looking up from his book. Edward froze still.

"Emmett don't you dare say what you're thinking" I barely heard Edward whisper.

"Apparently Edward likes it rough, look at poor Bella" Emmett bellowed laughing like there's no tomorrow.

"And you should have heard them last night Mike...we really need sound proof walls" Rose added. God, this must be gang up on and mortify Edward and Bella day. Suddenly I felt Edward relax and I searched his face, watching as a small smile graced his lips. His eyes locked with mine and I blinked at him. What was he up to now? He bent down and kissed my neck.

"They're not trying to embarrass us Bella; we're all ganging up on Mike" Edward whispered against my skin. I sighed with relief, but this was still going to embarrass me, I knew it.

"You're all just jealous" Edward spoke to the room. His lips suddenly found mine and he kissed me with, what would appear to Mike as, everything he had. When he pulled away I resisted the urge to whimper, a fact that didn't escape Edward's notice. He sat down in the love seat and pulled me onto his lap. I leaned back onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around me while trailing kisses up and down my neck, shoulder and jaw line. Mike had his eyes glued to us; well Edward was putting on quite the show.

"S-so Mike" I tried to keep my voice steady as Edward kept ravishing my skin. "What...uh... hmm...brings you here today" I attempted to question as Edward slid a hand down and rested it on my thigh. He started rubbing little circles on it, making me squirm against him. He moved both of his hands slowly up to my hips and held me still.

"Bella, please don't do that" Edward all but moaned, loudly I might add. I turned my head and kissed his cheek. He was such a convincing actor.

"Sorry" I giggled, nestling my head in the crook of his neck. I snuck a glance at Mike who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat, trying to hide his...uh, recently arisen problem. His eyes were almost popping out of his head and his mouth was slightly opened. He looked completely dumbfounded.

"See what we have to put up with!" Alice chimed. "Twenty four hours a day! Both of them, animals" Alice tittered.

"Talk about stamina" Rose interjected flipping over a page of her magazine, her eyes meeting mine briefly. I knew my face was red, as amusing as this was to make Mike squirm, I was still completely embarrassed.

"Uh, yeah, ha ha ha" Mike laughed nervously but his eyes travelled up and down my body. I repressed a shudder and found Edward glaring daggers at Mike. Edward's hand found their way under my shirt and rested on my stomach. It felt exceptionally nice against my cuts and bruises and I found myself sighing contentedly. Edward had his lips pressed against my neck and I felt a smile on them.

EPOV

I was enjoying this probably more than I should have. I loved the feel of Bella pressed up against me, the softness of her skin under my lips and fingers. She seemed to be enjoying it too, although she was embarrassed that we were being so affectionate in a room full of people. But then again, the mental images I was receiving from Mike were not pleasant...in fact I wanted to leap out of the chair and strangle him for thinking of even touching my Bella. But doing that would require leaving Bella's presence, and I was quite happy where I was. Bella suddenly shifted so that she was curled up in my lap, her head tucked underneath my chin...she was tired. Well, it's not surprising considering the lack of sleep she got last night and her hike this morning.

"Sleep my love" I whispered to her, wrapping my arms securely around her body. I felt her place a soft kiss on my neck...the sensation, as always, was amazing. I closed my eyes as well, relaxing into the chair, just enjoying the sounds of Bella's breathing and heart beat.

"What, you two are just going to curl up and go to sleep?" Mike suddenly demanded. I looked over at Jasper and he was shaking with silent laughter, reading his mind, I realised he was manipulating Mike's emotions. I snapped my eyes open and gave Mike a hard glare.

"It's our house; I think we are entitled to do what we want." I replied.

"So you're just going to make Bella sleep in your lap? At least let _me_ take her upstairs to _her _room...she'd be more comfortable on a bed" Mike demanded. My mouth fell open and Bella started giggling softly. That's it, I was going to kill him. Suddenly Bella sat up and winked at me. She slowly leaned in and kissed my lips.

"Yes Edward, let's go up to _our_ room" She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my chest. I began to stand up.

"No!" Mike shrieked, his voice an octave higher than usual. I chuckled and sat back down, raising an eyebrow at him speculatively.

"I, uh, mean, stay, it is your house and you can do what you like" He spluttered uncomfortably.

MPOV

_God, Bella looked so damn sexy in that little outfit...I wish I could take her up to _my_ room and...Uh oh, Edward looks like he wants to kill me, shit! He couldn't know what I was thinking...could he...but then what about the supermarket incident...hmm...that cat fight was so freaking hot! I wouldn't mind playing rough with Bella..._

EPOV

_You can't kill Mike, it would probably upset Bella, deep breaths, don't kill the hormonal driven teenager...don't kill the idiotic human that wants to defile your Bella...DAMN IT!_

"Edward" My Bella murmured sweetly. I placed a hand against her soft face.

"Yes my love" I answered, screw Mike, I had Bella! But he wanted her too...

"Relax" She whispered, much too quiet for Mike to hear. "Or throw him out either way" Jasper's glance flickered to Bella's face and they exchanged a smile.

"Allow me" Emmett hissed standing up and strolling over to Mike. Mike audibly gulped when Emmett sat down on the couch next to him.

"So Mike, are you a virgin?" Wow...Emmett...direct.

"N-no, no" He stuttered glancing at Bella and then at Rosalie and finally to Alice.

"Edward is" Thank you for that dearest brother. Bella stiffened in my arms; I placed a kiss on her cheek. Mike turned to me with a shocked expression before he became incredibly smug. A smile crept up on his face...I knew I would not like his thoughts.

"Really, you have trouble in the sack Eddie?" I snarled menacingly before Bella placed a hand on my chest, soothing me, calming me.

"No, the trouble isn't physical...both he and Bella are choosing to remain _pure_ for their wedding, you know saving themselves for each other" Jasper stated but I could feel the emotions he was throwing at Mike, awe, jealousy, regret, shame...they just kept coming.

"B-but what was all that you were talking about before?" He blurted out. "Animals, stamina, sound proof walls?" He continued rambling.

"Just because we're saving ourselves doesn't mean we can't experiment, as long as we don't overstep the mark" I spoke with a cool voice, untainted by the anger I was feeling towards Mike. "But that is entirely between Bella and me. It is none of your concern what I and my fiancé choose to do in _our _bedroom." My voice was growing fiercer as I went on.

"Enough, please. Mike why did you come here?" Bella demanded quietly, still wrapped in my arms.

"To see if Edward was treating you right" Bella glanced up at me and I gave her an almost imperceptible nod. Mike was speaking the truth.

"Why would you even believe otherwise, Edward is a perfect gentlemen and the best man I know. He treats me with nothing but kindness and love" Bella added more forcefully. She was so passionate about me...about us; it brought a small smile to my lips.

"But Bella! You're covered in bruises and bandaids!" Mike shouted and Bella flinched. A low growl emanated from my chest.

"Edward didn't cause them Mike!" Bella yelled back. "Jasper and I went for a walk and I was attacked by a swarm of bees. I tripped and fell Mike, nobody can prevent accidents" My angel looked like she was ready to leap on Mike, better not let it be another supermarket scene.

"I can try" I breathed in Bella's ear. She relaxed and smiled at me sheepishly.

"And you do succeed the majority of the time" Bella agreed.

"Maybe I should talk to Charlie" Mike snapped standing up, Emmett mirroring his movements.

"I can't let you hurt my little sis and bro like that" Emmett ground out through his teeth.

"So you're going to sit there and ignore the fact that he abuses her" Mike spat. Emmett instantly had his hand around Mike's throat. I froze, Rose locked eyes with me, Alice stopped breathing and Jasper was furiously working to disarm the lethal situation. Bella was out of my arms before I could register her warmth leaving my body; she was at Emmett's side. I stood faster than a normal human approaching my love quickly but Alice stopped me.

_Stop Edward, Bella is the only one who can diffuse this situation, let her do it, she will not be harmed. _

My step faltered and I stood three feet back from Bella's body, ready to remove her from the room in an instant.

"Emmett, he's a liar ignore him. I know Edward would never hurt me. You know this also, killing Mike or harming him won't change his mind, it will only reinforce the idea. Let him go Em, please for me. Please Em" Bella was tugging lightly on Emmett's arm. He was in complete control; Mike would not even have a bruise tomorrow if Emmett decided to walk away, which I hoped he did because I would not forgive him if Bella got hurt.

"Bella, go back to Edward" Emmett ordered. Bella tightened her grip on Emmett's arm.

"No Emmett. Don't do this! Look at me. He is just like me, would you hurt me like this Emmett?" Bella wondered softly, her voice trembling. All I wanted was to collect her in my arms and comfort her, but Alice's glare kept me from acting. "He has no ammo Emmett, I am covered in bee stings and Charlie knows how clumsy I am, he witnesses it firsthand every day. He also knows how strong I am Emmett. Besides, Charlie isn't coming home for another six days. This will only cause problems for your family Emmett; think about it" Bella begged, shaking now...I wonder if she was afraid of Emmett? Emmett's fingers loosened and he swept Bella up in a big hug.

"I'm sorry little sis, I just love you and I won't tolerate anybody hurting you" He promised, an edge to his voice. I was too busy watching Bella that I almost missed Mike passing out and landing on the floor with a thump. He lay completely rigid.

"Emmett" I murmured, trying to pull Bella out of his arms, he relinquished her instantly. Apologies were written all over his face, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he was saying.

"I screwed up didn't I?" Emmett groaned. I was ignoring him, crushing Bella to me...well not _crushin_g.

"Edward put me down. I can fix this" Bella pleaded. I didn't want to let her go, but I did, with more reassurance from Alice. We all watched as Bella stumbled off into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water and a damp tea towel. She dropped to Mike's side and placed the cool compress on his forehead.

"Pass me a cushion please Edward" She murmured. I did as she asked and she placed it under Mike's head. "Ok, everyone go along with and reinforce everything I say...oh and Rose, please leave the room and call Carlisle, you'll know what to say in a moment" Bella insisted, not removing her eyes from Mike's face. Her gaze was amused, almost quizzical. Alice was now shielding her thoughts from me and I had no idea what was about to unfold. Rose's jaw clenched with a loud snap, but she did as Bella said, amazingly.

"He's coming around Bella" Alice was smiling. Bella took a deep breath and her face became a mask...the same mask she used to hide pain, and when she tried to lie...oh boy, Bella couldn't lie.

"Mike? Mike, can you hear me?" Bella was gently shaking his shoulders.

"B-Bella, are you an angel? What? Where?" Mike questioned in a dazed stupor.

"Don't be ridiculous Mike. You're at the Cullen's house. As soon as you walked in the door you collapsed, you been unconscious for twenty minutes. We were so worried, are you ok? Does anything hurt? How about your neck? Any tingling in your toes, can you move your fingers?" Bella rattled off standard medical questions like she was a trained doctor. "Any previous incidents similar to this one? How long since you've eaten? Do you have a history of diabetes or epilepsy in your family?" Wow, I could truthfully say I was impressed. She was certainly covering all the bases.

"I'm ok I think, I don't feel tingly or sore, my head hurts...but Rosalie was blue and Emmett was chocking me, it was so real" Mike stuttered, I was about to jump in when Alice held up a hand.

"Hallucinations...hmm Mike, have you recently participated in or used any illegal substances or overdosed on prescription medicines?" Bella inquired compellingly, I fell more in love with that beautiful woman every day.

"W-what no" Mike flushed red. Abruptly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Hello Carlisle" I answered politely.

"_How's it going Edward; Rose explained the situation. What's Bella doing? Is Mike buying it? Is he really hurt?" _Carlisle rattled off quickly.

"Bella, its Carlisle, he's sorry he missed our original call. He wishes to speak to you." I improvised; hoping both Bella and Carlisle could keep up this charade.

"Ok" I placed the phone in Bella's hand and Mike tried to sit up but was forcefully pushed back by Bella.

"You could have damaged your spinal cord, don't move" Bella snapped before answering the call. "Hi Carlisle" She smiled warmly, even though he wasn't in the room. I wonder what she looked like when she answered my phone calls?

"_Bella, does he really have a damaged spinal cord?" _Carlisle demanded in full doctor mode. Bella shook her head and gestured me closer to her. I sat on the ground next to her and leaned over Mike. I had after all gone to medical school...Bella just seemed extremely proficient, but of course she would not know how to check his condition. I poked and prodded and found absolutely nothing wrong with him. Bella had watched me intently.

"Carlisle?" Bella enquired.

"_Yes Bella, go ahead" _He seemed awfully wary.

"His spine is intact and undamaged" She made eye contact with me as she spoke and I was nodding with her response. "He has no internal bleeding, nor any broken limbs or bones. Heart rate is slightly lowered, breathing is fine" I smiled at her; she had been paying close attention. My little observant fiancé!

"_He hit his head did he not? Flash a torch in his eyes and see if they are dilated" _Carlisle responded. I quickly found a torch and did the standard test. Nope pupils were fine.

"They're not dilated, perhaps Edward should check for swelling?" Bella questioned hesitantly, I already had my hands on his skull, looking for fractures or swelling of the brain.

"_Excellent idea Bella, if we could only get over your aversion to blood, I think you'd make a great doctor" _Carlisle was sounding calm and chipper once again. I found nothing abnormal and Bella reported it back.

"_Well monitor him for a few minutes, Edward see how his mind is coping but he should be fine to drive home. Sentence him to bed rest for the rest of the day_" I heard Carlisle instruct before the line went dead.

"Carlisle says you'll be right as rain tomorrow. Let's get you on your feet" Bella exclaimed leaning over Mike again. Suddenly Mike leaned up and kissed Bella! Gripping her arms and shoving his tongue down her throat! Not even I got to do that! I started to pounce as Bella raised her arm, however we were both tackled, preventing any onslaught.

"Let me go! I'm going to kill him" Both Bella and I shouted at the same time. Emmett and Jasper were holding me back and Alice had Bella.

"How dare you! Get out of this house!" Bella was still squirming against Alice's stronghold and I just wanted her back in my arms, I needed to comfort her. I tried to approach my angel, but buffoon one and butthead two were restricting my movements.

"I want Bella" I growled out very slowly and was released. Alice let Bella go and I had here close to me once more. She had tears of rage falling onto her cheeks and she struggled against me also.

"No Bella, shhhhh. He's not worth it. Stop my love, he's leaving. Isn't that right Emmett?" Emmett smiled a toothy grin and grabbed Mike by the scruff. As He slammed the door open, Carlisle and Esme stood there, mouths agape. They took in me restraining a crying Bella and Emmett ready to throw Mike out of the house.

"What is the meaning of this?" Esme whispered.

"_Mike_ shoved his tongue down my throat! I was just trying to help him and then he attacked me" Bella's tears of anger had now turned to sorrow. She stopped struggling and I hugged her to my chest, kissing the tears off her face. Esme stepped forward and grabbed Mike by the ear.

"Come with me young man, we are going to call your mother! DO you have no respect for women? And one that is engaged to another man for that matter?" Carlisle followed his wife into the kitchen and Emmett closed the front door.

"Edward, you're lucky Bella likes you" Was all Jasper said before he and Alice disappeared from the room.

**Review!! Please!**


	16. Scolding

**Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry i havent updated in so long! I havent forgotten my stories my life has just been crazy hectic lately! I mean ive been doing eleven hour shifts at work while trying to attend uni five days a week! Its no excuse but im still sorry!**

**I own nothing!**

_**Last Time:**_

"_Come with me young man, we are going to call your mother! DO you have no respect for women? And one that is engaged to another man for that matter?" Carlisle followed his wife into the kitchen and Emmett closed the front door. _

"_Edward, you're lucky Bella likes you" Was all Jasper said before he and Alice disappeared from the room._

ESME POV

How can a boy who has such lovely parents turn out so rude and impolite?! I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour, especially towards Bella! She's practically my own daughter! I was going to be having many words with this boy's mother.

"Sit" I instructed placing him forcefully into a chair at the kitchen table.

"What do you have to say for yourself young man?" I demanded, hands on hips staring at the uncivilized human boy.

"I...I...Edward hits Bella!" Michael shrieked. Well all the nerve! How dare he accuse Edward of something like that! The little liar! He has no idea how much Edward loves her and protects her! What an imbecile!

"You come into my house, throwing ridiculous accusations, force yourself on an innocent girl whom I consider to be my daughter and then accuse my son, who has a level of maturity and kindness most will never attain, of hurting the love of his life?!" I stipulated with a deadly calm voice. Mike shrunk back from me into his chair. Good! I would do anything to protect my children, like any lioness would do for her cubs...and this boy was a threat.

"N-no Ma'am, i-it's n-not li-like that" He stuttered. Just wait until I got his mother on the phone!

"So now you're calling me a liar?" I asked with irritation laced in my voice.

"N-no! It's just" I cut him off.

"Did you accuse my son of hurting his fiancé?" I enquired harshly.

"Yeah but" I silenced him with another question.

"Did you attack Bella with unwanted physical contact?" I challenged raising my voice slightly.

"Well, yes I kiss-" He admitted.

"And you did not relent even when she desperately attempted to pull away?" I queried forcefully.

"Esme-" My eyes flashed black with fury.

"Mrs Cullen, thank you" I all but snapped.

"Bella was asking for it!" Michael shouted. "She was all dressed up in that little bitty outfit looking all sexy! And then Cullen started to rub the fact that he had her in my face...i think...wait maybe that was a dream...I hate him! She should be mine, I want her and her body!" My mouth fell open at the petulance and crudeness of this boy. I turned to look at Carlisle wondering what he thought of the matter. I was shocked to see him shaking with anger, his eyes coal black.

"If I stay here I'm going to kill him for speaking that way about Bella" He whispered to me incredibly fast before storming out of the room. I stared after him shocked...Carlisle hardly ever got mad, he was always in such tight control. I flashed my eyes back to Michael's.

"Women are not possessions!" I stated through clenched teeth. "And Bella can dress anyway she likes, we did not expect company today, she dresses for Edward and Edward alone. You may not have her and nor will you ever! The way you treat her is beyond insulting. Edward is ten times the man you'll ever be. You are but a small infant compared to him. Insolent child! Your mother will be so disappointed in you! Edward belongs to Bella just as she belongs to him. She doesn't want you and she never will. Especially after those sexist remarks!" I had to work to keep my voice calm and level. I just wanted to slap some sense into this boy! He referred to Bella as if she was nothing more than a piece of meat! I reached out almost a little too fast and snatched the phone into my hand. Quickly dialling the number, it rang twice before being answered.

"Hello Newton Residence" The female voice responded.

"Good Morning Mrs Newton, it's Esme Cullen here, how are you this fine day?" I asked pleasantly, not forgetting my manners.

"Quite well thank you" She replied amiably.

"I'm sorry to be the one to break you good mood then" I sighed despondently into the receiver.

"Why? Whatever is the matter Esme?" She questioned in a slightly panicked tone.

"Well Michael is over and-" She cut me off mid sentence.

"What? No, that's impossible. He's working all day at the shop today. He's the only one manning it" She stated, the panic building.

"Well, he is sitting right in front of me so I'm not terribly certain anyone is manning your store" I explained calmly. She withdrew a sharp breath, the poor woman.

"What has he done?" She enquired fearfully. I gave a tight smile even though she couldn't see it.

"Michael would you like to explain to your mother what has transgressed here?" I asked the boy who shook his head quickly and tried to stand up and flee the room. I placed a hand on his shoulder and lowered him back down into his chair. "Mrs Newton?" I asked.

"I'm still here" Amazingly, I thought.

"Michael attacked Bella, he decided to play tonsil hockey with her without her permission while she was helping him to his feet. This was after she and Edward had given Michael medical attention after he passed out and knocked himself unconscious. Bella is quite distraught and Edward is very upset." I paused and listened. I could hear the thumping of the woman's heart over the line but no breathing...she was holding her breath.

"Is...is there more?" She gushed out breathlessly.

"Yes, I'm afraid he also accused my son Edward of physically abusing Bella and threatened to take this false information to Charlie. I do not wish to have such filthy lies spread around town about my son and daughter to be. They are very much in love and do everything in their power to protect each other from danger, not inflict it." I was trying to be soothing but ragged breathing answered my pause.

"Well, he must have had some justification behind his reasoning?" She all but begged.

"Bella did have a nasty encounter this morning with a swarm of bees while hiking with Jasper, but she's covered in scratches and stings, it's fairly evident she's fallen not been...beaten. Do you think I would tolerate one of my sons treating any woman badly with the slightest amount of disrespect?"  
I wondered quietly.

"You're right! Your sons are the spitting image of moral decorum and chivalry! They are always such polite gentlemen! What has gotten into Michael's head! What else has he done! I can't believe he's disrespected you, your home and your family like that! Not only that, he's insulted me and cast shame upon me and our family! Blowing off his other responsibilities!" She shrieked.

"He might have also demanded her and her body for the taking" I whispered sadly.

"Put my _son _on the phone if you will Esme please" She sneered. I handed the phone to a pale and trembling Michael. That will teach you to ever mess with my family! I sat down and listened as his mother berated him and promised him many months of grounding, etiquette classes and community service to improve his social inaptness. She also informed him of his recently "lost" X-box, computer, driving privileges, television, phone, stereo and some dubious magazines located under his bed. This boy would be in complete lock down and I felt overwhelmingly satisfied even as the boy broke into sobs. What a lioness would do for her cubs!

EPOV

I lifted Bella into my arms and ran to my room, laying her in the middle of the bed. She was still crying. As soon as she hit the sheets she turned away from me.

"Bella?" I whispered, stroking her hair. She started to cry harder. "Bella what's wrong my love?" I asked quietly, trying to turn her face so I could see her beautiful eyes. She resisted.

"Nothing, I'm fine. I understand Edward, you can go now" She sobbed. What?

"Bella, you're upset, you're not fine. I'm not going anywhere, please Bella" I begged.

"Stop pretending Edward. I know you don't want me anymore" She cried. Of course I wanted her! I loved her with my entire being! What was this about? Is this because of Mike? Or does she just not want _me_ anymore?

"Do you not love me anymore?" I whispered almost too softly for her ears.

"I'll always love you Edward. Every second of the day until I die and then after. But I get it, I'll leave" She started to sit up. So this wasn't about me; it must be about Mike. I pounced, landing above Bella, her back flat on the bed with me resting on my elbows inches from her gorgeous face.

"Bella I love you. Please don't go" I murmured leaning down to give her a kiss. She turned her head away. My mouth fell open in shock.

"Edward, Mike kissed me" Bella stated through clenched teeth. So? It pissed me off too but I still wanted her, oh.

"Did you enjoy it that much?" I enquired playfully. A look of utter revulsion crossed Bella features. She tried to sit up and push me away but I wasn't going anywhere. Her lips were less than an inch from mine. I closed the distance quickly and brushed my lips across hers.

"Bella, I love you. I always want you, in more ways than one. I can't live without you Bella. Mike isn't going to change the way I feel about you" I spoke with my lips brushing softly against hers. Maybe I would pay a little visit to Mike. He upset my fiancé, he would pay.

"But I cheated on you...with_ Mike"_ She spat the word out dejectedly. How could she think that? Anyone could see that she didn't want Mike to touch her let alone shove his tongue into her mouth.

"Bella, no my love, you didn't. You didn't want it, you fought against him. That's not cheating" I reassured. Mike was definitely going to pay for this.

"So you don't hate me?" Bella questioned, her sobs lessening.

"I could never hate you" I answered kissing her soft lips. Thankfully, she returned my kiss. Her arms slowly wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer. I was fine with this; I wanted to be close to her. I tilted my head, deepening the kiss in the progress. Her lips were eager against mine. I pulled away a fraction to give her a moment to breathe while I planted kisses on her neck.

"Edward" She begged tugging on my hair slightly. Trailing kisses back to her mouth I recaptured her lips. I traced my tongue along her bottom lip and she gasped in response, opening her mouth to me. I cautiously slipped my tongue into her warm mouth, careful not to transfer any venom. She tasted so sweet...faintly like Newton, but I'd soon fix that. After a few seconds her tongue met mine. The sensation of hot on cold was amazing. Just then the door swung open, interrupting one of the best kisses in my life. That's it! Whoever it was, was dead! I slowly pulled my lips away from my Bella, giving her one last chaste kiss before turning to face the intruded. Lo and behold it was Mike.

"I, uh, um, you, she, sorry?" Mike stuttered looking from a blushing Bella to me with a deadly glare on my features. My eyes were trained on him. He hurt and upset Bella, that alone was unforgivable, but now he comes into my room and disturbs me when I'm with Bella...like I said, a dead man.

"Mom she's kind of busy right now" Newton spluttered into the phone. What! There was no way he was talking to Bella!

"_I don't care Michael! Put her on the phone! You have probably traumatised poor Bella!" _I heard Mrs Newton's voice echo from the phone. I chuckled lightly to myself. I leaned down and placed another kiss on Bella's lips.

"But Mom! They're kissing!" Newton hissed into the phone.

"_What? You've never seen two people kiss before? They're engaged Michael! They've probably done a lot more than kissing!" _His mother shrieked. Newton visibly paled as he observed us. I slowly slid off of Bella's body but propped myself up on my elbow beside her throwing one of my legs over hers and holding her to me with my arm wrapped around her waist. I leaned closer to her and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. Mine!

BPOV

Edward had me wrapped in his embrace and was staring at Mike with hostility in his eyes. He placed a kiss on my cheek without breaking eye contact with Mike. I guess he was reinstating the fact that I was his. I had to hide a smile that that crossed my features. I love Edward. I placed a hand on top of Edward's one that was resting on my waist and intertwined my fingers in his. I cuddled up to his body and waited for whatever was about to happen. What was Mike doing in here anyway? I really _never_ wanted to see him ever again after what happened downstairs. I shuddered as I recalled what he did. I was also amazed that Edward still wanted me...well actually it always amazed me that Edward wanted me at all but Mike kissing me like that...I'm just glad Edward loves me.

"B-Bella?" Mike stammered. My breathing hitched. It was mortifying enough just existing in the same room as him, but having to converse with him would be utter torture. Thankfully Edward was all over the situation.

"Don't you dare address her! You have no right to speak to her! No right to be in our room let alone this house!" Edward spoke in a slightly aggravated voice. Mike took a step towards us, oblivious to the dangerous situation he was continuing to bring upon himself. I felt Edward stiffen against me, his breathing stop.

"_MICHAEL PUT BELLA ON THE PHONE NOW!" _I heard Mrs Newton scream from the phone. Mike instantly threw the phone at me from halfway across the room. I cringed and closed my eyes preparing for the impact that I knew was eminent. It never came. I pried open my eyes and found Edward's hand enclosed around the phone mere inches from my face. I exhaled sharply.

"Get. Out. Before. I. Kill. You" Edward's teeth were clenched together incredibly tight. I placed one hand on his face to try to calm him as I attempted to release his fingers off of the phone. Mike stood there frozen.

"Leave!" I practically screamed finally getting the phone out of Edward's grip. He had started breathing again and his features were slowly relaxing. Mike blinked before turning and leaving the room running, closing the door with a loud bang.

"H-hello?" I breathed warily into the phone. I heard a car engine start outside and tyres screeching on gravel.

"_Bella! Are you alright? I'm so sorry about Michael's behaviour! I can't believe him! Tell me you're ok. How upset is Edward? Mike didn't hurt you did he, I mean physically? I'm so angry he did something like this!" _I listened patiently as she rambled. Edward buried his face in my neck and I lost track of the conversation.

"_Bella!" _Her loud voice snapped me out of my Edward induced trance.

"I'm ok Mrs Newton. But I don't think that Mike and I can remain friends. He pushed the boundary too far and I have lost all my trust and respect for him. I'm sorry" I stated quietly.

"_I understand completely Bella. I'm the one who's sorry. I thought I raised him better than that"_ She sighed. "_Well I'll let you go sweetie Michael's just pulled up in front of the house. I can assure you he will be punished deservingly."_ She muttered her goodbye and the phone went dead before I could respond.

Edward reached up and snatched the phone out of my hands, placing it on the bedside table. He then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly against his chest. I stared into his light topaz eyes. He was studying me carefully. I reached up and ran a hand through his soft hair, trying to reassure him of whatever he was searching for. A sudden smile graced his lips.

"What do you find so amusing Mr Cullen?" I wondered highly bemused.

"Do you really wish to know, future Mrs Cullen?" I smiled at his name for me and nodded. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"The entire time Newton was in here he was not in the slightest bit scared of me. Not threatened at all. But when you simply yelled at him to leave, he almost wet his pants and fled the house terrified." Edward chuckled. "He's afraid of clumsy little you, yet he has no fear directed at the deadly mythological creature that could have easily torn him to shreds." I felt a small smile cross my face, it was rather amusing. Edward was still chuckling. I smiled at him, enjoying seeing him carefree.

"Silly Edward" I murmured, burying my face in the crook of his neck. This got a genuine laugh out of him. I pulled back and watched in awe as his beautiful features shone with pure joy. Happy Edward was incredibly handsome. I felt my love and desire for him grow intensely. His eyes locked on mine when he stopped laughing and he brought a hand up to stroke my face.

"You're always being joy to my life Bella" Edward whispered before kissing me passionately. At first I was too shocked to respond but quickly overcame this problem, meeting his ardent embrace. His tongue slipped into my mouth again and he rolled on top of me, keeping his weight off of me. His hands slid down my sides and back up again, caressing softly. The kiss continued even when I tangled my hands in his hair and held him to me. I was almost too lost in the world that is Edward to hear a soft chuckling echoing off the walls in the room...almost. Of course Edward heard it too. His head snapped up and he turned to face Nathaniel.

"You too are way too easy! Just the slightest bit of encouragement and Bella's in tears and then Edward's attacking Bella with kisses! Too easy! I need to find a real challenge!" Nathaniel laughed to himself. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. Nathaniel had been screwing with our emotions again! I hated not being able to tell what I was really feeling! It was so infuriating.

"Oh Carlisle!" Edward sang out gleefully. Nathaniel froze and his attention focused on the door. It slammed open and Carlisle charged in, dressed in his poacher outfit.

"Ah! We meet again my evil nemesis!" Carlisle charged him but Nathaniel crashed through the window as an escape. Carlisle chuckled and dived out after him.

"I'll find you my pretty and your little dog too!" Carlisle's voice faded as he sped away. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or wonder if Carlisle needed a CAT scan. I focused my eyes back on Edward's that were laced with amusement.

"Where were we my love?" He murmured brushing his lips across mine. We easily resumed our previous activity, ignoring the wall of shattered glass that was once Edward's window.

**Review! Give me ideas! Tell me your thoughts! I really like Nathaniel! He's funny!**


	17. Leaving

**An extra extra long chapter, sorry it took so long, i've lost my passion for this story.**

**I own nothing**

BPOV

I awoke in Edward's bed alone. I sat up and scanned the room. No Edward. I pouted. His glass window was still shattered, but the mess had been cleaned up. It was night time. I must have fallen asleep after we finished making out...well I wasn't finished, but Edward decided we'd pushed the boundaries enough for one session. Last thing I remember was being cradled in his arms as he hummed my lullaby.

I was feeling incredibly itchy and hot. Glancing down I noticed I was still in the same clothes from this morning...I did a double take and groaned. My skin was bright tomato red. That will teach me for going out in the sun. I flopped back down onto the bed and whimpered from the impact. Ok, note to self, do not make any sudden movements.

I heard the door open split seconds before Edward was on top of me.

"Eeeq!" I shrieked, he was very close all of a sudden.

"What's wrong my Bella? What is it?" He demanded staring into my eyes. I groaned again, but could feel the coolness radiating from his body.

"Can you lie down for a second?" I asked softly. He gave me a funny look but lay down beside me. I snuggled into his side and sighed. Heaven.

"Please stay" I murmured contentedly. He placed a cool hand on my cheek and I sighed again. Wonderful.

"What is it Bella?" He questioned again, quietly this time. Could he not tell by looking at me? I was bright red all over.

"The sun is evil" I muttered, pressing my face into his shirt.

"Why is the sun evil?" He sounded bemused. I was in pain, he shouldn't be laughing.

"Look at me Edward" I exhaled sharply, pulling away from him so he could see all of my skin. His eyes travelled down my body and back up again to my face.

"I see" He whispered, tugging me back tight to his chest. "Does it hurt terribly my Bella?" I shook my head no but didn't meet his eyes. Of course it hurt...well it stung more than anything, but he was helping immensely and I didn't want him to worry unnecessarily. I undid one of the buttons on his shirt and rested my face directly on the skin of his chest. Much better.

"Tell me the truth Bella" He pleaded, resting his hand back on my face. I snuggled my cheek into his palm.

"It stings and it's irritating. That's all. You make it feel nice. You're nice and cool" I murmured. I felt him move slightly and a moment later he was shirtless underneath me.

"Better my love?" He wondered, slipping one arm around my waist. I smiled and met his eyes.

"Thank you it's wonderful" I answered. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. That felt nice too. Hang on, back up a second...Edward is lying in bed with me shirtless...I hardly ever got to see him shirtless. I moved my head up to his shoulder and ran my eyes down his perfectly sculpted chest. Adonis had nothing on him. I laid my arm across his chest and started drawing patterns on his skin. He made me feel so comfortable.

"How long until your skin is no longer red?" He asked; concern laced in his voice.

"A few days or more. Then I'll peel" I spoke softly, enjoying the relief from the pain I was getting.

"Peel!" He exclaimed worriedly. I giggled. Of course, he had probably never experienced it.

"The dead skin Edward, it will peel off my body. It's nothing to worry about. It isn't life threatening in anyway" I felt him exhale slowly. I had worried him. I glanced up at his eyes.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. He frowned at me.

"You can't help it. Next time wear a hat and use sunscreen please my Bella. I don't like seeing you in pain" Carlisle abruptly burst into the room. He paused when he found us intertwined on the bed, Edward half naked, but continued into the room.

"I lost him" He muttered dejectedly. I glanced at Edward who was smiling.

"Nathaniel?" I clarified in a quiet voice.

"He just disappeared and I suddenly forgot why I had been chasing him at all. Quite remarkable, his power is" Carlisle sounded thoughtful as he sat down on the couch. Ok, so was he staying to chat about it?

"Carlisle, what can I do for Bella's sunburn?" Edward requested. Carlisle's eyes ran over my body methodically.

"Amazing, I didn't know a human could turn that red" He sounded astounded. I blushed and buried my face in Edward's chuckling chest.

"Only my Bella" Edward remarked happily. Why was he happy I was in pain?! Meanie.

"You can put some Aloe Vera on her skin after her shower, but other than that, what you're doing now is probably most effective for the pain." Carlisle assessed. That meant more shirtless Edward, yay!

"Ok" Both Edward and I agreed happily. I met his eyes and found him smiling at me. So he didn't mind holding me close? I wasn't affecting his control, his bloodlust? I mean, we were a lot closer than usual; I was generally wrapped up in a thick blanket so that I didn't get cold. Did he actually like having me this close? Edward must have seen the question in my eyes because suddenly his melted. Oh boy; and he's not even trying to dazzle me.

"I told you Bella, your blood doesn't affect me anymore. I do want you close my love. Ok angel?" He murmured in his caressing voice. I nodded and closed my eyes.

"That really is a remarkable shade of red" I swear I heard Carlisle mutter as he left the room, the door closing with a quiet snap. We lay silently for a while, Edward running a hand through my hair soothingly.

"Are you ready to eat something my Bella? You missed lunch...you're probably a little dehydrated as well" He was in concerned Edward mode. I sighed. Now he was going to pamper me. I was actually fairly hungry, but after the disaster that was yesterday, I wanted to make it myself.

"Can I cook?" I asked. He smiled and nodded.

"Go have your shower first so I can apply the lotion and you can change into something more comfortable. What would you like to wear?" He enquired. That's right, I had no clothes. I contemplated for a minute. All of Edward's clothes were extremely soft...hmmm

"Can I borrow one of your silk shirts and a pair of satin boxers?" I responded faintly. They would feel the nicest on my skin. He kissed my cheek.

"Of course" Edward replied tenderly. I felt him stand, holding me in his arms and walking me to the bathroom.

"I'll go find some underwear for you to dress in." He insisted, standing me on my feet carefully.

"Thank you" He responded to my statement with a chaste kiss to my lips before he was gone and the door was shut behind him. I carefully removed my tight clothing, thanks a lot Alice, grimacing and flinching when it scratched my skin. Climbing into the shower, I set the temperature to a lukewarm that didn't hurt my skin before stepping under the spray. It was very relaxing.

I heard the bathroom door slam open and I closed my eyes. Are you kidding me? What now? I slowly opened my eyes to find Rose standing in front of me, back to her old normal coloured self, dressed, but still dripping wet. I however was still butt naked. I tried to cover my body from her view, decided it wasn't working and went to grab a towel. She ripped it from the rack and threw it far beyond my reach.

"How could you not tell me?!" She screamed. I felt so mortified; also knowing my face was bright red with embarrassment...and Edward could probably see me threw her mind! I blushed even more and turned my back on her, feeling tears prickle in my eyes.

The worst thing was I had tried to tell her that it would wash off easily and she had told me to shut up. The tears begun to run freely down my face. Rose was still yelling at me. This was so humiliating. Suddenly, the water was shut off and I found a towel wrapped around my body and I was pulled into a solid chest. I really hoped it was Edward, anyone else and I would be even more mortally embarrassed. Glancing up I established that it was indeed Edward. I would never be able to look him in the eye again. I found him glaring at Rose. He was speaking low and fast, so I had no idea what he was saying...obviously it wasn't pleasant. I wrapped my arms up around Edward's neck and hid my face in his shirt. His shirt...he put it back on... I felt him pull me closer to him.

"Get. Out" I heard him order in a deadly voice. I hope he wasn't talking to me, because I was never leaving this bathroom again. The risk of encountering people who would know about this incident and mock me for it was far too great. The bathroom door slammed shut, shaking the whole house; amazingly the door didn't shatter to pieces or even crack.

"Bella" I heard Edward whisper in my ear. I flinched away from him and shut my eyes tight. I can't believe he had seen me naked like that...crying and being tormented by his sister. His arms held me in a cage close to him.

"Look at me" I shook my head no and buried my face back in his shirt. I couldn't stop crying. I felt him lift me into his arms and I struggled against him; I really didn't want to leave this room.

"No Edward, no. Emmett with laugh and ridicule me. I don't want to go out there. Please don't make me" I cried even harder. He stopped moving.

"Shhhhh my Bella. Calm down love. Calm down, it's alright." He soothed and I latched onto him tighter. No it wasn't, it would never be ok.

"I'm just going to take you into our room. Emmett won't be in there, I promise. No-one will, the door is locked shut and the curtain is drawn across the window. It will just be me love, no-one else I promise. Ok? Please calm down Bella" He begged. I relaxed a little. Just Edward, he won't tease me, he won't embarrass me. He loves me; he protects me and keeps me safe...

"Ok Edward" I spoke carefully; my sobs stopping and my tears slowing. I trust Edward; I love Edward. He started walking again slowly and I found myself deposited gently on the bed. I quickly turned over so that I was facing away from him. I felt the bed dip next to me and Edward's hand running through my hair.

"My poor love" He whispered. His voice was so soothing. Why did he always make me feel better?

"Edward" I whimpered. His hand snaked under my chin while the other rested on my hip. I let him turn me to face him. I studiously kept my eyes averted from his though. What if he was disappointed...what if he didn't want me anymore because I wasn't gorgeous enough for him? I wouldn't be able to stand the look in his eyes...

"Bella, look at me please love" He insisted. I shook my head and closed my eyes tight. I tried to turn back over so I was facing away from him again but one of his arms was still resting across my waist, his hand lying on my hip, holding me in place.

"Please Bella, for me. I want to see your beautiful eyes" I hated when he used his charm on me, he knew I couldn't refuse. At least he thought my eyes were nice. I carefully opened my eyes but didn't make it to his face. Edward pressed his lips to mine with a tender caress. When he pulled back I couldn't help but gaze at his eyes, and thankfully I didn't find any distaste or revulsion there. In fact his eyes were extremely warm, happy almost.

"You're so beautiful Bella. I'm so glad you're mine" He admitted ardently before giving me another loving kiss. So he wasn't displeased with my body?

"Silly Bella. You're perfect; so gorgeous, sexy, stunning and exquisite." Edward confirmed, relieving my fears. I gazed at him bewildered.

"You still want me?" I questioned, half afraid he would say no.

"I want you more than ever" He confirmed adamantly. I relaxed completely. Edward slid his eyes down my towel clad body. He ran a finger along the top of the towel, gently caressing the curves of my breasts before trailing kisses from where my breasts met, up my neck. He placed a soft kiss under my ear.

"Gorgeous, my lovely woman" He declared. I smiled a small smile; there he goes making me feel better again. Edward sat up then, moving away from me.

"I left you're clothes on the counter in the bathroom. Go get dressed my love. I wish to speak to Carlisle momentarily." I nodded and he helped me to my feet, guiding me to the bathroom door.

I dressed quickly, but carefully in the clothes Edward supplied. There was a matching red lacy set of underwear, one of his white silk button-down shirts and a pair of his black satin boxers. I was right; the material did feel wonderful on my tender skin. Exiting the bathroom, I found Edward packing a small overnight suitcase. He was sending me home; I knew they'd get sick of me. Before my tears could start Edward had me in his arms, kissing me.

"So beautiful in my clothes" He murmured against my lips. Isn't he sending me away? "Would you put some jeans or pants on my Bella? As much as I like you dressed like that, I don't want anyone else to see you" He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I was so confused...where were we going? Why were other people going to see me?

"Why?" I summarised. He paused and suddenly looked sheepish before recovering.

"I'm taking you to a hotel. I want you to sleep tonight. I don't want anyone disturbing you or upsetting or embarrassing you. And this way, I can stay with you all night because they won't be disturbing _me_ every ten minutes. Is that ok with you?" He asked kindly. Sounded like a good plan to me.

"Ok Edward" I agreed. He gave me a quick kiss before pushing me towards his wardrobe. I walked in as he raced around and packed everything I assumed we would need. I walked the length of his wardrobe and found a pair of incredibly soft black dress pants. Always the best of everything, I sighed. I quickly dressed before returning to Edward. He was just putting his wallet and phone in his pockets.

"Ready to go love? We'll get dinner for you there" I smiled my acceptance of the plan and he took me by the hand. I froze as he tried to lead me out of his bedroom door. I forgot I had to get past everyone else first.

"Edward, I'll just sleep here, it's fine" I whispered trying to walk backwards, pulling away from him.

"No Bella. It's ok. No-one is going to say anything. Carlisle kicked Rosalie out of the house. No-one is going to tease you or laugh at you my love. I promise. No-one. I'm here to protect you, ok, we don't even have to say goodbye" He convinced me mostly before he swung me into his arms and ran me downstairs and outside in the blink of an eye. He sat me down in the passenger's seat of the Volvo and had the car purring in seconds and we were off. Somehow he had buckled me in without me realising. Sneaky vampire.

"What would you like for dinner my love? You can have anything you wish" I knew this. Edward always offered me anything I wished...I wonder if I said I wanted caviar or frogs legs would he get it for me...hmmm

"Can I wait and see?" I asked quietly. He agreed easily. After a few minutes, I realised we were heading towards Seattle.

"Edward, where are we staying?" I wondered. He glanced over at me and smiled.

"I wanted to get a little bit of distance between us and our family love. I'm taking you to the Fairmount Olympic Hotel in Seattle." He continued staring at me while driving at over 90miles an hour. If I wasn't used to this, I would be fretting...but Edward knew what he was doing...he would never let harm come to me.

We made it to the city in what I was sure was record time, even for Edward. When he pulled up in front of the magnificent hotel I suddenly felt extremely underdressed.

"Relax Bella, you look beautiful" He climbed out of the car in his formfitting pants and cashmere sweater. He looked a million dollars. I didn't even have shoes on, I realised. Edward made it to my door and opened it, leaning in and kissing me. He opened the suitcase and pulled out a pair of pretty red heels. They were incredibly too high for me, but before I could protest Edward had them on my feet. He pulled the suitcase out and handed it to a concierge before pulling me out. Edward kept his arm wrapped around my waist and held me to his chest tightly.

"I won't let you fall my love, I've got you" He whispered in my ear as he half carried me/led me into the stunning lobby. It was beyond beautiful.

"Ah, Mr Cullen, how very nice to see you again" A man with a perfect smile approached us. Edward shook his hand warmly.

"Thank you Jonathon, it's pleasant to be back" Always so polite. "This is my fiancé" Edward announce proudly. I blushed. The man took me in, smiling brightly.

"Very beautiful. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you miss" He professed charmingly. I heard a low growl from Edward and he pulled me tighter in his arms.

"Do you have a room available?" Edward enquired still maintaining a somewhat polite manner.

"Of course sir, we always have a room for you. Follow me please" Edward fell into step behind the man as he led us over to a large desk. He typed something into the computer and glanced up at Edward with a smile.

"We have the Corner Suite, it features a large bedroom with a King bed, a dressing area and two large marble bathrooms. The living room includes two oversized chairs, a loveseat, Murphy bed and a dining table that seats up to six guests. Its size is 1,250 sq. ft. And it has a Spectacular city view. Is this to your liking sir?" I gaped. That sounded extremely expensive. Edward smiled at me.

"Perfect, thank you" He pulled out his credit card and paid for the room quickly, not allowing me to see the bill. He then took me by the hand after receiving a key card and pleasant dreams from _Jonathon_. The concierge led us to a nearby elevator and took us to our room. I gaped as he unlocked the door and carried our bag inside. With Edward's encouragement I followed and took in everything at once. It was beautiful, and much too extravagant. I turned to tell Edward he shouldn't be wasting his money and found him tipping the other man one hundred dollars.

"Thank you for your assistance" Edward warmly smiled, tugging me into his arms. The door closed quickly and I found Edward's lips brushing lightly across mine.

"Don't argue love, please" He breathed lightly into my face, disorientating me. I shook my head, what was I about to say? I found myself in Edward's arms and lain gently on the luxurious bed before I even got a chance to regain my thoughts. He crawled up next to me and tugged on my pants.

I had forgotten I was even wearing them, but now he mentioned it, my legs were feeling hot. The sun is evil. I wiggled out of the pants and relaxed into Edward's chest, letting him cool some of my hot skin down.

"Ready for dinner love?" He queried, running a finger down my nose.

"Room service?" I responded. He sat up and reached over to the bed side table, pulling out an elegant menu. I scanned it quickly; all I really wanted was a burger and fries or something. Ah, success.

"The chicken burger?" I asked. Edward took the menu from my hands, briefly glanced at it and pulled me into his arms as he picked up the phone.

"Hello, this is Edward Cullen in room 829. I would like to order two chicken burgers, two glasses of coke, a serving of fries and a piece of chocolate mud cake. Yes. Yes. Thank you" Edward hung up the phone and I gaped at him.

"Are you going to eat some of that, because I very much doubt I will be able to eat even half that by myself" I stated shocked.

"Esme's punishment love. I have to eat at every meal you do" He looked decidedly dejected about this.

"Poor Edward" I sighed. He chuckled and pulled me a little closer.

"Would you like me to put some Aloe Vera cream on you now?" Edward asked. I was nicely snuggled into his cool body, but Carlisle did say it would help.

"Ok" I agreed quietly. Edward sat up and retrieved the lotion.

"Take off your shirt love" Edward stated, sitting back down next to me. I blushed and drew my gaze to the ceiling. "Bella, please my love. Please" He was swiftly on top of me, murmuring quietly in my ear, his breath clouding my senses.

"Do I have to?" I was still highly embarrassed about the shower incident...I wasn't exactly feeling comfortable within my own skin.

"It's just me Bella; you'll still have your bra and shorts on. I love you Bella. You're a beautiful attractive woman, and when we're married I plan to thoroughly worship your body for days on end." His voice dropped lower and was even smoother than usual. I shivered at his words. I couldn't wait for then.

Sitting up slightly I quickly undid the buttons and discarded the shirt, lying on my stomach so Edward could do the back of my legs, arms and lower back. He slowly went to work, massaging the soothing cream onto my body. It was divine.

"Flip over Bella" Edward ordered softly. I rolled onto my back and lay there under his molten topaz eyes. He brushed his lips against mine.

"My angel" He whispered sitting back again and working the cream onto my front. His hands felt wonderful, yet so teasing at the same time. He did my face last. Just as he finished there was a knock on the door.

"Stay here please" Edward requested moving me quickly under the blanket and strolling to the door. He didn't let the other person in the room and was soon wheeling a cart laden with food towards me.

Edward crawled back onto the bed and kissed me. All of a sudden I was on top of the covers and wearing my shirt with only two of the buttons done up. I gazed at myself then back at Edward. Wow.

"Sorry love, should I have warned you first?" Edward sounded guilty.

"No, that was just very fast." I was still trying to figure out the logistics of how he did it when he placed a plate with burger and fries in my lap.

"Eat, please" He commanded sitting next to me and eyeing his burger with disgust. Poor Edward. I began eating quickly, releasing I was starving. He passed me over my coke as I was halfway through. He hadn't touched his yet. I finished and watched as Edward poked his burger and curled his lip. It was honestly the best burger I had ever eaten.

"Go ahead Edward. Quickly, like removing a bandaid." He quirked an eyebrow at me. Of course, he wasn't familiar with having to remove bandaids, he was an indestructible immortal.

"Never mind" I sighed. He frowned and to the burger in his hands and brought it to his mouth taking three rapid bites he swallowed and made an amusing face.

"Want to wash it down with some coke?" He looked at me like I was crazy. I shrugged my shoulders. He set both our plates back on the trolley and pulled me into his lap. He then grabbed the slice of cake and held it in his hands in front of me.

"Edward?" I wondered. He placed a kiss on my cheek. Edward sliced a bite of cake off and held the forkful to my mouth. I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around it, chewing slowly. Good cake. Edward continued to feed me until all the cake was gone. I sighed happily and rested back against Edward.

"Thank you my love" He murmured in my ear. Edward could feed me anytime. I just nodded and buried my face in his neck. I had my own personal air conditioner. I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep.

When I awoke it was to the sound of retching. Poor Edward. I crawled out of bed and slipped into the bathroom to find Edward slumped next to the toilet. He reached forward and flushed it before leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. He looked absolutely miserable. No wonder he didn't want to eat.

"Sorry I woke you up" He mumbled. I sat down on the floor next to him and he rested his head on my shoulder. Bringing my hand up I ran it through his messier than usual hair, trying to bring a little order. It was no use.

"Feeling better?" I asked softly. He wrapped an arm around my waist and held me securely to his side.

"Mmmmm" Was all he replied with. I continued playing with his hair, hoping it was soothing him. I was going to have a talk with Esme when we returned; I couldn't have Edward going through this after every meal. I hated seeing him in any state of discomfort. After around ten minutes he lifted up his head and gave me a smile.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned, keeping my voice light. Wouldn't do to let him know I was upset over his punishment.

"Fine my love, thank you" He buried his face back in my neck for a second before standing up and moving to the sink. I watched from the ground as he rinsed his mouth with Listerine and brushed his teeth thoroughly. When he had finished he stood in front of me before sweeping me up into his arms. He then placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Time for Bed" He declared carrying me to the bed and tucking me in. He gave my lips another kiss but didn't get into the bed.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, ok my Bella?" I smiled and nodded and he disappeared. I snuggled down into the blankets and realised why I had woken up initially. My skin was burning hot. I threw off the blanket and spread my limbs out. Better. I was just starting to relax when I felt the bed dip. My eyes flew open and I found Edward staring at me.

"What are you doing love?" I guess I did look kind of strange.

"My skin is too hot" I mumbled shutting my eyes again. The blanket swiftly settled on top of me and I found myself cradled against Edward's shirtless cool chest. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me happily.

"You're too good for me" I stated sleepily, my eyes falling shut.

"Nonsense" I heard him whisper and his arms pulled me closer to him.

**REVIEW!!!!**


	18. Eating

18

**Ok. So a little bit of confusion. Rose was yelling at Bella because she (Rose) took a shower and realised all the colourful gunk washed off...a normal person would have tried that first right? And Bella had tried to warn her, but Rose being Rose got angry and bitchy. And Edward took a shower and brushed his teeth for **_**Bella's**_** benefit. **

**Moving on, sorry I haven't updated, you see I base the chapters of this story loosely on what happens in my life and nothing funny had been happening for a while and then I went on a 7 week European holiday...but here I am, back again with **_**lots**_** of inspiration. **

**Some adult content in this chapter, but not much.**

**I dont own twilight...sadly**

BPOV

I woke again, this time because Edward's grip was a little too tight and he was mumbling something that sounded and awful lot like _God make it stop_. I frowned and opened my eyes. He was curled around me, his face buried in my neck, where he continued to mutter, pulling me closer and tighter to his body by the minute.

"Edward? What's wrong?" his head snapped up, like he hadn't realised I was awake. Whoa, he must really be troubled by something. His eyes traced my face quickly before sliding down my body and back up to meet my eyes. His eyes were kind of _molten_. He frowned suddenly and buried his face back in my neck.

"Please make it stop Bella" He grumbled.

"Make what stop?" I couldn't hear anything...not that that meant much. I felt his body tense.

"There is a newlywed couple in the room above us shouting their thoughts and the noises and I can see everything and I don't want to! It makes me want to ravish you but I can't. God how I want to ravish you. Make them stop" Edward sounded distressed. I felt the traitor blush flood into my cheeks. There were people above us having sex and Edward could hear and see everything...and he wanted to ravish me.

"Edward" I murmured. He didn't respond. "Stop thinking about it. About them. Focus on me. Look at me Edward, try to read my thoughts. Distract yourself, go turn on the television or the radio or something." I felt him leave my arms briefly before he was back tucked up against me, the TV_ and _stereo on. He relaxed slightly.

"Better?" I wondered, bringing my hand up to run it through his soft hair. His lips brushed against my neck.

"I can't hear _them_ at _it _anymore if I focus on the television or radio. But they are shouting their thoughts" He mumbled. I sighed. Poor Edward.

I slid my body down until we were face to face and I slowly and carefully pushed my lips against his for a second before pulling back. His eyes were now focused on me, and hopefully so was his every thought. He said I was the only person who could make him so distracted he lost track of time and could no longer hear other people's thoughts. Maybe I should help him out.

He didn't seem as opposed to me kissing him as I thought he would be, considering his rules and boundaries. But they had seemed to fly out the window this week. We had gone from chaste kisses to French kissing...from sleeping fully clothed to him shirtless and me in _only_ his shirt...and he had seen me naked and not gone running. I wouldn't mind seeing him naked...whoa, focus Bella.

I slowly lifted my hand and traced the features of his face before running my fingers once again through his hair. He purred for a minute while I continued before he grimaced and his eyes flicked skyward, a glare marring his features. Ok, deep breaths Bella, you can do this without hyperventilating and passing out. You're marrying this man soon, time to push his boundaries. I felt the blush already flooding my cheeks at the thought of our wedding night. Edward's eyes flew back to my face and his eyes searched mine.

I doubt he'd be able to guess my thoughts at this moment, although the more time he spent with me the more it _did_ seem like he could read my mind. Renee always did say my face was like an open book.

"What are you thinking Bella?" He whispered running his fingers up and down my cheek.

"About how good you're getting at reading my expressions...and our wedding night" I rushed out the last bit and took a deep breath letting my eyes fall shut.

"And just what were you thinking in regards to it?" He didn't sound angry or amused...curious and something else. I opened my eyes and found his _molten_ again. Beautiful, sexy.

"About how much I love you and...how sexy you are and how much I'm looking forward to spending my wedding night with you" I spat out the last part again much faster than any human would have been able to understand. I felt my blush deepen.

"I also, am looking forward to it immensely. I love you my Bella" His lips found mine in a gentle kiss...well it started off gentle but he soon rolled me over onto my back and hovered above me peppering my face with kisses. Shirtless Edward kissing me short circuited my brain. When I resurfaced I found Edward smiling into my eyes.

"I wasn't even _trying_ to dazzle you" He chuckled.

"Sorry" I whispered sheepishly. He smiled and brushed his lips against mine, darting his tongue out to trace my lower lip. I let my hands memorize his shirtless chest, mapping his muscles with my fingers while his lips continued to carefully assault mine. He gave me one last deep kiss before lying down beside me and cuddling me against his body.

"Go to sleep Bella. Thank you for distracting me." His smile was audible in his voice.

"Are you sufficiently...distracted?" I wondered. I didn't want to go to sleep if he had to continue to suffer through _that._

"Very. They've fallen asleep for now anyway. Sleep angel" He murmured softly before he started humming my lullaby and had me drifting into dreams of _our _wedding night.

*********

I sat up suddenly, woken from sleep by the clattering of dishes. Edward was speaking to someone in the entrance area. I glanced out the window and encountered stormy grey skies, but I could tell it was definitely day time. Looking at the bedside clock, I found it was just after eight am. I scooted out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to have a human moment before Edward returned. As I exited, I found the dinner trolley had been replaced by a breakfast trolley, if the smell of bacon, eggs and toast were any indication.

Edward crooked a finger at me and I carefully crawled up the bed to settle beside him.

"Breakfast m'lady" He smiled his charming smile and placed a tray in my lap. Yep, eggs, bacon, sausages, toast and orange juice, yum. I watched as he uncovered a plate with two pieces of toast on it for himself.

"Don't eat that!" I ordered fiercely. I did NOT want my Edward sick again.

"Bella my love, it's my punishment. I have to" He tried to convince me.

"No you don't. Just don't eat it, no one will know" I was being surly and childish, but I didn't care.

"Alice will know and she'll tell Esme" Edward was being logical. I was thinking with my emotions, rather than with logic.

"Esme said you had to eat at every meal I did. I'm not eating, so now you don't have to" He blinked at me, shock plastered across his face before he frowned.

"Yes you are. You're hungry, eat" I shook my head and heard his mobile vibrate noisily. He sighed, retrieved it and was by my side again in an instant. Answering he started speaking quietly and rapidly to whomever it was. Sighing again, he handed me the phone. Gulping, I took it from him with shaky hands and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I wondered.

"Bella, you have to eat. You can't go the rest of the week without eating. You'll worry poor Edward out of his mind, not to mention the rest of us." Esme reprimanded me gently. I frowned at the wall. I wondered how far away I'd have to walk before Edward wouldn't be able to hear my reply. I watched as Edward stood up, kissed my forehead and headed to the door.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes. I'm going to make us a reservation for lunch. Don't get hurt while I'm gone" How?

"Bella are you there?" Esme asked.

"Y-yes" I stammered as the door clicked shut and Edward was gone.

"I told him to leave us alone while we spoke" Oh. For a second there I thought he really _could_ read me that well. "Bella?" Esme prompted again. I sighed.

"I hate it when Edward is sick and unhappy. I can stand the thought of him having to cough all the food back up. I hate it Esme. I'll take whatever punishment; just let him stop eating, please." I begged. There was silence on the other line. If she said no, then I'd just limit my meals to one a day, then he'd only be sick once, instead of three times a day. I heard soft murmuring in the background.

"Bella, Alice told me what you're planning. You can't. It will make you sick and then Edward will be upset." I shook my head.

"Her mind is set Esme" I heard Alice's voice float through the phone.

"Alright then Bella, you win. Everyone's punishment is lifted. No-one has to eat human food anymore." I heard a chorus of yes's and squeals of delight after Esme's declaration. A small smile found its way onto my lips.

"Thank you so very much Esme" I expressed my delight.

"You're welcome dear, enjoy your day" She hung up. I didn't even get to say goodbye. By now the smell of the food was starting to make my mouth water so I quickly set about eating my plateful. When Edward did return I was just finishing the last bite.

"Bella?" He wondered, sitting next to me.

"You are free. You no longer have to eat human food" I smiled at him, but his brows puckered.

"What did you do Bella?" He frowned at me.

"Esme lifted everyone's punishments." The frown disappeared.

"Really?" I nodded. He smiled. "Thank you" He kissed my forehead. "Shower and change my love, we're going shopping" I soon found myself deposited in the bathroom with a stack of Alice's clothes. Underwear, bra, a short denim skirt and a flowy blue top. Not too bad, at least it wasn't a dress. The deadly, _literally in my case_, red heel shoes were once again present.

"But I hate shopping" I whispered. I knew he'd hear me anyway. The door opened again.

"You also hate me buying you gifts, but we're doing both today my Bella, because I owe you all those clothes back that Esme stole. And I enjoy shopping with you, and I love buying you things. I love you, please" He fluttered his eyelashes and smiled at me. My heart stopped and started again double time.

"Ok" He smiled wider, kissed my cheek and disappeared behind the closed door. Did he really just get me to agree to go shopping and when he was buying?

I showered and changed quickly, drying my hair with the hair dryer that was in there and brushing my hair with my fingers. Good enough, no-one would be looking at me any way with Edward at my side.

Opening the door I found Edward sprawled across the bed on his back, he was instantly in front of me, one hand gently caressing my cheek.

"You look absolutely stunning my Bella" Naturally, I blushed. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"Thank you" I murmured. Edward chuckled and took my hand, leading us slowly from the hotel room and to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he held me against his side.

"Shopping" I frowned at him. I knew that already, why wasn't he answering me?

"Edward?" I prompted, gazing up at his face. His eyes flickered to mine and he moved his face within half an inch of mine before he answered.

"To a mall" His breath washed over my face, stopping all thoughts in their tracks before I felt his lips on mine. Suddenly I found myself buckled into the passenger's side of his Volvo and we were on our way. How did I get here?

"Did I dazzle you again Bella?" There was more than a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Like you don't already know" I muttered. I heard a chuckle in response. Sitting back I closed my eyes, deciding that I had lost the battle against Edward to discover where we were going.

I felt the car pull to a stop some time later and discovered we were in an underground parking lot.

"We're under the mall Bella" I felt Edwards hand tug on mine as he tried to pull me from the car. I got out and tripped, landing face first in Edward's shirt.

"Sorry" I mumbled. Edward's chest moved as he chuckled. His arms, that were holding me upright, titled me back slightly.

"Are you ok my Bella?" I felt one of his hands trace the blush that was smeared across my cheeks.

"Fine, thank you" I answered shyly. Edward's arm slid around my waist, pulling me securely against his side.

"I'll endeavour to make sure it doesn't happen again" He murmured quietly in my ear.

We walked to an elevator and ascended. I found myself in a giant mall.

"Where _are_ we Edward?" I wondered, gazing around at the extravagant inside of the five story building.

"Pacific Place shopping centre" He answered, leading me into the sparse crowd. It was not quite ten am.

"Why does that sound familiar?" I questioned, gazing around as Edward guided us to wherever we were going.

"Alice always begs me to let her take you here when she goes to Seattle on the weekends" Uh-oh. This was an Alice mall?

"Edward. I can't shop here" I was already imagining the exorbitant cost of some of these clothes. I saw the word Prada in a store window and flinched.

"Why not? I shop here" Edward paused, puzzled by me no doubt.

"It's too expensive" I whispered, afraid some snobby rich person might hear me. Edward had the nerve to laugh.

"I'm paying; nothing is too expensive for you my Bella. Trust me when I say I have more than enough to cover a thousand trips to this mall." Of course he would think that.

"But-" He cut me off with a brief kiss.

"No butts Bella. You agreed to let me take you shopping and pay for everything. How often do you think I'll be allowed to shop for you, considering Alice is in the picture? I know you don't like shopping my love, but I'm not like Alice and I love spending time with you. It won't be so horrible" Edward coaxed sweetly. Oh who was I kidding, I had enough trouble saying no to Alice, what made me think I could say no to him?

"I love you. Please don't go overboard." I murmured. Edward smiled and steered us into a shop called _Barneys New York_.

**Any faithful readers out there still? Review Please :D**


	19. Swimming

19

**Now don't laugh, but one of the **_**embarrassing **_**events in this chapter actually happened to me...I laughed hysterically about it later but at the time I was highly mortified...now with that, I shall leave you to wonder...enjoy.**

**I don't own twilight or the characters...I don't make any money from this...**

19

BPOV

An hour later we exited _Barneys_ with a ridiculous amount of purchases, ninety percent of them for me. Edward had really gone crazy, but thankfully I hardly had to try anything on. We visited many more stores after that: _J. Crew,_ _Club Monaco__, __BCBGMAXAZRIA _and _The Body shop_. Edward had replaced the clothes that Esme destroyed ten times over at least and gotten me a complete spa hamper package, new shampoo and conditioner, a few different kinds of new fragrant soap and a hand and foot care box. Every time I told him no, he would dazzle me into agreeing or plead and beg or pout...I really couldn't resist the man I loved...who also happened to be a gorgeous persuasive vampire. Stupid Vampires. 

I was beyond exhausted but Edward had promised that we had only one more store before our lunch reservations so I conceded. We walked along level two until Edward paused outside the store with a hot pink neon-sign. No way. I think I made a squeaking noise of terror. 

"C'mon Bella" Edward was dragging me in there. My entire face must have been flushed red. This was most unnatural...for me and for any male. 

"I can't go in there with you Edward" I shrieked. He stopped his efforts to drag me in.

"You can't go into _Victoria's Secrets_ with your fiancé?" I gulped but said nothing. 

"Please" He begged. I slammed my eyes shut. 

"Edward, men don't like to go in there, they find it...uncomfortable?!" I tried to explain. 

"Why? They get to witness their woman purchasing incredibly beguiling undergarments knowing they are the only ones that will get to see it" I felt a giggle slip from my lips. Edward would be the only man to describe lingerie as _incredibly beguiling undergarments__._

"I'll be embarrassed" I whispered. I felt his hand cup my face, although I'm still unsure how he had a free hand, considering he was the one carrying all twenty bags of purchases. 

"Don't be. I hate to bring it up love, but I've seen you in your undergarments, I've seen you in your naked exquisiteness...I love your body, I love your mind, I love your soul, I love you. You need undergarments; I wish to buy them for you. We'll be married soon my Bella" I felt a small smile cross my lips even though I'm positive my face was still flaming red. We were in love, we were getting married.

"I know. Ok Edward" He flashed a blinding smile and pressed his lips briefly to mine before half carrying me into the store. 

"What's your size Bella?" I felt my blush deepen. 

"A 32B for bras and a small in underwear" I whispered, highly mortified. I stood rooted on the spot as I watched Edward select bra upon bra for me from lacy to silky to satiny and cute prints...before hitting the underwear section and finding me a matching pair of panties for each bra. Watching as he made yet another selection, I think I counted ten sets so far, a Saleswoman approached him. Could this get any worse? 

"Good afternoon sir, may I be of any assistance?" The woman gazed at him like he was a prodigy.

"I'm shopping for my fiancé over there" He gestured at me and the woman turned and ran a critical eye over me

"I see. Is there anything else in particular you were looking for? Perhaps some sleepwear?" My eyes widened. Edward nodded and bared the woman and myself a smile before he followed the woman to the sleepwear section. I stumbled along behind them, hoping that the sales woman would leave us alone.

I stopped two yards from Edward as he began to search through the racks of more lacy and satiny garments. The woman, satisfied Edward was going to purchase more, went on her way.

"Excuse me miss?" I think I jumped about three feet in the air at the man's voice, not something to be recommended in heels. I stumbled but was caught by the stranger I had yet to face. I soon found myself swept into Edward's arms, hearing a low growl emanating from his chest. Finally I was turned towards the man. He turned out to be an employee...and he appeared to be..._straight. _

"I'm sorry to have frightened you, my beautiful lady; I thought you could use some assistance. You seem a little lost." The man smiled at me kindly while Edward took a step back, pulling me with him.

"She's with me, thank you. She doesn't need any of your _assistance_." Edward all but snarled at the man. Remarkably, the employee ignored Edward and addressed me again.

"Have you ever been properly fitted? It can make all the difference having the correct size and shape for your body." I felt Edward tense.

"N-no, no thank you. I'm-we're fine, thank you. Just finishing up actually" I glanced back up at Edward who leaned down and kissed my lips possessively...for him anyway, and steered us to a checkout. Guess we were done.

I stood next to Edward at the checkout as I watched twelve sets of _undergarments_ and six items of _sleepwear_ get scanned, racking up a whopping total of eight hundred dollars. My breathing hitched. I had purposely avoided looking or listening to the totals in the other stores...but this was just ridiculous...it was just underwear!

"Breath Bella" Edward chuckled as he handed over his card and collected the three new bags in his hand. I watched him sign before he slid an arm around my waist and led me from the store.

"Would you like me to carry something" I enquired as he directed us to an escalator and we descended to the first floor.

"I'm fine love, this is nothing to me" Well not all of us can have superhuman strength.

He guided us to a restaurant, _Il Fornaio,_ and gave the Maitradee his name. We were escorted into the restaurant immediately at the name of _Cullen_ and led to a very private table. This baffled me, why would _any_ of the Cullens ever need to enter a restaurant? The Maitradee pulled out my chair for me and pushed me in as I watched Edward pile our purchases around his chair before also sitting.

"_Signor_ Cullen, a server will be with you in just _uno momento"_ The man seemed a little flustered. (_A moment)_

"_Grazie, non siamo in no corsa__"_ I was mesmerized by Edwards's smooth voice perfectly pronouncing the Italian words. (_Thank you, we're in no rush_)

"V_i sono la maggior parte del benvenuto. Prendi tutto il tempo che hai bisogno__.__"_ Edward smiled and the man disappeared. _(You are most welcome. Take all the time you need.)_

I followed the basics of the conversation as certain words were very similar to their French counterparts. Edward smiled at me and handed me a menu. It was all in Italian, of course.

"I think I'll try the _Antipasto della Casa_. What do you think?" I asked, glancing up to meet his eyes that were studying me attentively.

"I think you'll enjoy that very much" And with that he motioned a waiter over and ordered my dish as well as two cokes.

We were sitting in a comfortable silence, my hand encased in Edward's across the table, as we waited for my food. I was glancing around the large restaurant, watching the many other patrons and their reactions. _Especially_ their reactions to Edward, he was getting quite a few second glances from numerous women. Quite a few people had requested tables as close to ours as they could, somewhat diminishing the effect of our once private table.

I felt Edward raise my hand and turned in time to watch his lips kiss each one of my fingers on my left hand, pausing for a second longer on my ring finger. I blushed, as was usual when he paid me special attention like this, especially in public. I watched as his eyes once again turned _molten. _

"I can't wait to get you back to the hotel and watch you try on all your garments and lingerie for me" He declared quite loudly. I froze and was aware of my eyes widening intensely. Edward just said WHAT? I'm definitely sure the people in the tables surrounding us had heard that. I responded with a violent blush. Edward leaned across the table and gave me a very gentle kiss.

"There is a loathsome man to your left who was having most disagreeable thoughts about you. I thought I'd end his misguided assumption that I was your brother and" He chuckled quietly, his lips brushing against mine "Stake my claim" Edward kissed my lips again softly before leaning back. Anyone who had witnessed our exchange probably thought he was whispering all the things he wished to do to me when he got me alone. _Stake my claim_...really, only a vampire would come up with a pun like that.

I watched Edward once again raise my ring enclosed finger to his lips before tilting it subtly to the left, in view of the man no doubt. A smile soon settled on Edward's lips. We sat in silence again until my food was brought out.

I watched the giant platter of food be set down between Edward and I and my jaw dropped. There was no way I could even eat half of that on my own.

"Eat angel" Edward murmured, releasing my hand so I would have both free. I picked up my knife and fork but shot him a glance, trying to communicate to him I couldn't eat all of this on my own...not that I expected him to eat it...crap.

I tried a bit of everything to start with: bruschetta, salmon wrapped goat's cheese, egg plant salad, grilled marinated peppers, prosciutto, parmesan, grilled artichoke, olives and some kind of amazing pasta. It was all very good. I shot a quick glance around the restaurant and found the women once again staring at Edward. They would notice that he wasn't eating. I watched Edward shoot an astounded glance to his left before leaning in close to me, cupping my face and kissing me once again. I don't think he had ever kissed me this much in a public place...ever.

"Bella, I need you to ask me why I'm not eating, ok?" I nodded, not really understanding the logic behind it considering I knew why he wasn't eating. He sat back once again but secured one of my hands in his.

"Edward, aren't you hungry? Why aren't you eating?" I asked, just loud enough for the people around us to overhear.

"Oh I'm certainly hungry my delectable fiancé, but not for anything they serve here" I almost dropped my fork as his _lust _filled eyes slowly slid down my body and back up again. I'm sure I heard several women gasp or sigh. I had yet to take another breath.

"Breathe Bella" Edward laughed, his lips this time pressing against the soft skin on the inside of my wrist. I took a shaky breath. Wow, I wonder if he has any idea of the effect he has on me? _Of course_ he does, he's _Edward Cullen. _

I ate as much as I could before declaring myself full. Edward seemed satisfied, so he called for the check, paid and we were thankfully on our way.

"Edward, I need a human moment" I whispered. He paused and scanned the crowd.

"Ok" He kept one hand on my back as he led me to the bathrooms, pausing only once he was outside the door to the women's.

"I'll be right here Bella, take your time" I gave him a tentative smile and entered the bathroom. Wow. White marble...the entire room was white marble and there were _couches_ lining the walls. I approached a cubicle, almost expecting to find a gold plated toilet...not so much.

Taking care of my business, I approached the sink and turned on the tap. Water went everywhere, all over the counter, the mirror, and more embarrassingly all over me. I turned the faucet off and took a stumbling step back, slipping in the puddle of water on the floor and landing hard on my back. Ouch. I groaned.

I heard a knock on the door and struggle to my feet, slipping and sliding.

"Bella, are you alright in there" Just dandy Edward. I scowled and looked at myself in the mirror. I don't know how, but I had only gotten wet across my breasts. Only me. The door opened and I struggled to make my way back to a cubicle to hide until hopefully I dried. I shut the door just as I saw the woman turning the corner. Whew.

I put the toilet seat down and sat tentatively. The other toilet flushed and I heard the woman wash her hands, and the door open and shut. I unlocked my cubicle and poked my head out. No-one else was in here. I made my way over to the automatic hand dryer and half crouched under it so that it would hopefully dry my chest.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my lower back; I shrieked and jumped sky high.

"Relax Bella. It's just me love...what are you doing?" Edward enquired, running a critical eye over me. I wrapped my arms around my chest and turned my back to face him. I was so embarrassed, not only was my face bright red but I felt the prickle of tears before a couple slid down my cheek.

"Bella, there is water all over the back of your skirt and across your chest. What happened?" I found Edward wrapped around me, his lips an inch from mine. I watched as his frown deepened as he took in my tears.

Suddenly Edward's head snapped towards the door and I instantly found myself seated in Edward's lap, back in a toilet stall.

"Edward?" I whispered. I felt his fingers press gently against my lips and he pulled me tighter to his chest.

"I'm telling you Lauren, I _swear_ I just saw Edward Cullen. He was standing outside just a minute ago" No way! Jessica and Lauren were here, of all the places of all the days...

"He was probably waiting for his _precious_ little _Bella._" Lauren answered with a snicker. "Although I don't know what she'd be doing in this mall, she had absolutely _no _dress sense. You couldn't pay me enough to wear one of her outfits" Edward's lips pressed against my temple. I was tired, exhausted, embarrassed and fed up.

I stood up and wiggled myself out of Edward's grip. He gazed at me with startled eyes, asking what I was doing I guess. I pointed at one of the bags that were still on his arm. He slid all the packages to the floor and silently started looking through bags. I noticed I had left a wet patch right in Edward's...uh _groin_ region.

Swallowing hard, I watched as Edward pulled out a short black mini skirt from the _Barneys New York_ bag, a pair of ivory satin Carmen peep toe 3 ½ inch heels from , and a black collared short-sleeve sweater from _BCBGMAXAZRIA. _He also pulled out a pair of black dress pants for himself. 

I heard one toilet flush.

"Get dressed Bella" Edward murmured in my ear as I watched him stand, unzip and slide his designer jeans off his legs before folding them up and placing them in a bag. I froze as I watched him stand in front of me in his black button down shirt and red silk boxers. The moment was soon gone as he slid his new dry pants up his chiselled legs.

Before I embarrassed myself further...like by passing out, I turned my back to Edward and drew my wet top over my head, before slipping into the new skin tight one. It drew a V right down to my small breasts, heightening what little cleavage was there, thanks to the...black lacy bra Alice had given to Edward to pack for me...I bet she knew this was going to happen to me all along! Sighing I pulled my heels off and drew the denim skin down and off my legs. I heard a noise come from Edward that sounded half like a growl, half like a purr. Interesting.

I pulled the awful min skirt over my legs and settled it at my waist. The hem hardly fell to mid thigh. What the hell was I thinking when I let Edward buy this for me? I slid into the new heels and wobbled instantly before being drawn into Edward's embrace.

"You look positively breathtakingly beautiful and sexy" He murmured, his nose brushing against mine, distracting me as he scooped up the packages and opened the cubicle, causing me to stumble out encased in Edward's arms. Of course this happened just as Lauren was exiting her cubicle and I glanced up to see Jessica's shocked face reflected in the mirror, lipstick now smeared across her cheek.

"You'll have to excuse us ladies. Terribly sorry for intruding" Edward's voiced purred at them while he laid kisses up and down my neck. I knew I was blushing, but I didn't really care. Gazing in the mirror briefly on the way out, I almost thought I could pass for someone who _belonged_ with Edward in his world.

**Faithful readers please review :D **


	20. Wanting

20

Lauren's POV

I was still fuming over my run in with _Isabella Swan_ from the other day. How _dare_ she stand in my way to getting Edward Cullen? He was mine! I wanted him and I was going to get him. I didn't care if she was having his love child. He could ditch her and the runt and be with me. I mean who wouldn't want to be with me? I'm beautiful, sexy and I have a figure to die for with size D breasts and a cute little ass.

I bet _Bella _didn't even have size A breasts! Ha, take that little miss _I got Edward Cullen to propose to me_. I'd soon fix that.

Anyway, where was I? Huh...oh, right. So Jessica and I had driven up to Seattle to go shopping to get our minds off...a certain unpleasant person. We had conned a handsome guy into carrying our shopping bags around for us, Jessica had already called dibbs, much to my displeasure.

We had just finished lunch at Jonny Rockets and were making our way around the mall once again when Jessica paused.

"Lauren! I just saw Edward Cullen!" She squealed.

Oh my God! He was here! This is fate, it has to be! I can finally steal him away from _Bella!_

"Where!" I spun my head around, backward and forward scanning the crowd, looking for the sexiest man alive. I accidently whipped myself in my face. Ouch!!!

"Over there, outside the women's bathroom...huh, where did he go?" We were now both searching the area, looking for my prey...I mean my soon to be lover.

"Let's go check it out. Tell your boy toy to wait outside with our stuff" I huffed, walking over to the door. I watched disgustedly as Jessica shoved her tongue down the guy's throat before pulling back and murmuring something in his ear. Poor Mike would be yesterday's news by tomorrow...wait does that even work? Never mind, it doesn't matter, I know what I mean.

I waited till Jessica made it to my side before pushing open the door.

"I'm telling you Lauren, I _swear_ I just saw Edward Cullen. He was standing outside just a minute ago" She probably did, he was possibly waiting for that _skank..._

"He was probably waiting for his _precious_ little _Bella._" I answered with a snicker. "Although I don't know what she'd be doing in this mall, she has absolutely _no _dress sense. You couldn't pay me enough to wear one of her outfits" The only time I had ever seen her in something _remotely_ decent was when Alice Cullen had dressed her.

I took care of my business. I heard a toilet flush. Jessica must be done.

I exited after a little while, tugging my top down just a bit to make sure that if I _did_ see Edward Cullen, he was sure to notice me.

"You look positively breathtakingly beautiful and sexy" I heard a male murmur and I opened my cubicle door to witness none other than _Edward Cullen_ and _Bella_ stumble out of a stall embraced together, his arms holding her tightly against his chest. _Bitch!_

My eyes flared at them before darting over to Jessica who had smeared lipstick all over her face. I can't believe _Bella,_ _Miss_ _Goody innocent two shoes Bella_ had given Edward bathroom sex! That was supposed to be _me_! _That skanky good for nothing... _

"You'll have to excuse us ladies. Terribly sorry for intruding" Edward's voiced purred while he laid kisses up and down _Bella's _neck, like he couldn't get enough of her. That should be ME!

Edward led _Bella_ past me and then Jessica, who _still_ had her mouth gaping wide open. I noticed he was carrying a tonne of shopping bags from _Barneys New York _to _Victoria's Secrets_. Oh my GOD! He went into Victoria's Secrets with _her!_ I cannot believe this!

Jessica's POV

Did they, did she, they didn't, they did. Holy Crap. _Bella Swan_ and _Edward Cullen_. In there. They did. Oh my GOD. Crap, I have lipstick all over my cheek.

EPOV

"I think we might have short circuited Jessica's brain, love" I murmured in Bella's ear as we slid out of the Women's Bathroom.

I honestly couldn't keep my eyes off her, watching her change into the outfit she was now wearing had been nothing short of torture...I wanted nothing more than to claim her as mine in the most primal way...but there would be no way on this earth I would subject my beautiful Bella to _bathroom sex_ as Lauren so eloquently phrased it. My Bella deserved so much better than that, and when the time did come, we were not consummating our marriage in a public bathroom...privately in _our_ shower, I had no qualms about...

We encountered a human man as we exited; he was having the most revolting thoughts about _both_ Lauren and Jessica...at once. I shuddered and pressed closer to Bella.

She tilted her head till her gorgeous brown eyes met mine.

"Are we finished here now?" She wondered, her hands tugging on the bottom of her skirt, trying to pull it lower no doubt. The skirt showcased her legs to perfection; I could not endeavour to understand that she couldn't comprehend this. The top also displayed the beautiful swell of her breasts flawlessly...

"Almost Bella, just a couple more stores" I promised gently. She nodded with a little sigh escaping her lips.

"Ok Edward" Her voice agreed.

"Bella how about we split up and then it will only be one more store. I'll only be away from you for fifteen or so minutes". It would get us out of the mall quicker, back to the privacy of our hotel room.

"And where will I be during this time?" I paused in front of the large store I had been saving purposely for last.

"Barnes and Nobles my love." Her face lit up with excitement and I gave her a little nudge inside.

"Fifteen minutes, then you're coming back, right?" I smiled at her shaky voice and gave her a soft kiss.

"I wouldn't wish to be away from your side any longer" She gave me a small smile before she stumbled her way into the store.

I kept a watch over her through the minds of others as I entered my other destination..._Tiffany & Co. _

"Good Afternoon Sir, may I be of any assistance?" A woman approached me.

_My my, what do we have here? He's young, but he looks wealthy...too young for me? He is definitely good looking..._

"I would like to see your collection of sapphire jewellery, thank you" I used my voice that usually got me anything I needed.

"C-certainly sir, right this way" I gave her a careful smile. She stumbled but led me to a desk, offering me a seat.

"What price range were you considering? What pieces?" I smiled again and she gripped the back of her chair holding herself upright.

"Two thousand to twenty thousand per item. Necklaces, rings and bracelets, if you please" She took a deep breath.

_Twenty thousand per item. Who's the lucky bitch that he's buying all of this for? Bet his father finances his bank account. _

The woman...Jenny...came back with a tray of selected goods. I ran my eyes over all of them. Maybe I should have been more specific and asked for _blue_ sapphires. No matter now, I had already found the three pieces I would be acquiring for my Bella.

Pointing to the three items; a Tiffany Swing double drop pendant necklace of sapphires and diamonds in platinum, a shared-setting band ring with diamonds and sapphires in platinum, 3mm wide and a _Elsa Peretti_ Every Other Link bracelet with sapphires in platinum.

"Those three please, I would like them boxed and wrapped thank you. Would you prefer cash, cheque or card?" The woman froze.

"Cash?!" She exclaimed.

_He carries around twenty five thousand dollars worth of cash around on his person?!_

Why wouldn't I? It's not like anyone could, or would attempt to mug me.

"Ah, whatever you prefer will be fine sir" I nodded and pulled out my card...unlimited maximum withdrawal had its benefits.

She swiped; I signed and collected my gift wrapped packages. I would make it back to Bella with three minutes to spare.

"Lauren look! It's him! _Ed-ward_!" Jessica called, I froze dead. Well, technically I was already dead, but I stood incredibly still, praying that I hadn't just run into the two most obnoxious girls from Forks. Unfortunately, luck wasn't with me.

_Oh my god! Edward is buying things for _BELLA_ in Tiffany & CO.! How could he! He should be buying it for me. That good for nothing nobody couldn't even pull off wearing jewellery from here!_

I resisted growling at Lauren's thoughts and struggled to make polite conversation.

"It's nice seeing you ladies, again, but I'm afraid I must be on my way" I side-stepped them and sped out of the store. Thank goodness.

I found my Bella buried in the Classic novels section, and stood back, quietly watching her. She checked her watch every thirty seconds. After two minutes I decided to belay her fears.

"My love, how can you possibly be able to read the blurbs when you continue to glance at your watch like that, hmmm?" She jumped slightly, but spun around and took a few steps, closing the gap between us. My arm sneaked around her waist and pulled her soft, warm body delightfully close to mine. Taking a deep breath, I relished her scent, it no longer affected my thirst, but it did reassure me of her presence.

"You're back" I felt her lips that were resting against my neck pull into a smile.

"I wasn't even gone fifteen minutes, but I missed you terribly" I murmured the last part softly in her ear. I felt her shiver in response to my words.

"I missed you too...can we go now?" Her eyes met mine...a warm chocolate brown to my topaz.

"Certainly Angel. Was there something here that captured your interest?" I enquired, running an eye over the shelves of texts as I studied her face careful to note any reaction. Shaking her head she frowned at the books.

"No, I don't think so" She turned back to face me. I ran my eyes over the books one more time and found one I thought she might enjoy.

"Have you ever read _The Scarlet Pimpernel?_" Her eyes widened as she shook her head negative.

"I think you'll like it. Would you give it a try?" I pulled the book from the shelf and placed it in her hands.

"What's it about?" I watched as her hands gently traced the cover before she flipped it open.

"_This classic novel, set during the French Revolution, features romance, dangerous missions and disguise. The name of the hero is Scarlet Pimpernel, and his antics embarrass the French authorities by rescuing the French nobles from the guillotine."_ I recited. She giggled. Most enchanting.

"Ok, anything for you Edward" Her smile made my breath catch, my once lost human desires surfaced. I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her gently, always being wary of my teeth and venom. She looked dazed as I pulled back, her lips slightly swollen and red...my human desires demanded I kiss her again...and again...and again. Just soft, brief kisses.

"C'mon love, let's go back to the hotel." She just nodded at me. I smiled triumphantly and led her to the counter to purchase her book.

I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arm around her waist as we negotiated our way back to the car. There were far too many _males_ thinking about _my_ Bella in an aggravating manner...much worse than Mike Newton...if that was possible.

I finally got us to the car, our purchases loaded into the trunk and Bella tucked up in the passenger's seat. I slid behind the wheel, took Bella's hand in mine and headed back to the hotel. I couldn't wait to be alone once again with my fiancé.

Speeding out of the lot, I made it back to the hotel in record time. I tossed the keys to the valet, opened Bella's door and helped her out, my arm sliding around her waist again. I informed the valet that we had packages in the trunk that I would like brought up. Then I led Bella into the hotel and up to our room.

"Edward, are we in a hurry to be somewhere?" She asked as I closed the door behind us.

"Yes. I'm in a hurry to be alone with you" I smiled as her lips formed an "_oh"_ and a delightful blush spread into her cheeks. How I would miss that when she was turned. I let my hand trace her face delicately and was just about to bring my lips to hers when there was a knock at the door. The bus boy's thoughts entered my mind and I sighed, breaking away from Bella to open the door.

The poor human was struggling under the weight of our purchases. Weakling. I indicated for him to place them on a couch inside the entrance way, tipped him and directed him outside the room, with a click of the door.

Turning back to Bella, I found her staring at the pile of bags.

"Did you buy more when I wasn't looking? There couldn't have possibly been that many before" Her lips formed a gorgeous pout that I proceeded to kiss away with butterfly kisses.

"That reminds me, I have something for you" I smiled at her brightly. She blinked and slowly shook her head.

"Edward?" I chuckled and collected my three small bags before sitting down in a lazy boy and pulling her onto my lap.

"Bella, how many pieces of jewellery do you own?" I enquired softly.

"Just this" She held up her hand and I watched the diamond ring I had given her sparkle...and the bracelet the _mut_ had given her fall down her wrist, but I had gotten a diamond on there too. That's what I had thought.

"Bella." I waited till she acknowledged me with a noise before continuing. "I love you. You are the centre of my universe. I enjoy showering you with gifts, I have a ridiculous amount of money available for just that. You agreed this morning to let me take you shopping and pay for everything. Will you accept my gifts?" I finished my short speech and waited.

"You bought me jewellery." I heard her sigh heavily. Uh oh. "I don't need jewellery Edward" She countered.

"I know you don't _need_ it. It's how I like to show you I love you, by buying you gifts love. I shall be very upset if you don't accept them...I those them specifically for you, I'd hate to have to give them to someone else" She wiggled in my lap slightly.

"You could always return them" She whispered. I kissed her neck and chuckled.

"But I won't." I was adamant. I had never returned anything...why bother when I had so much wealth? It wasn't like I needed the money.

"Hmmm" I wondered desperately what she was thinking...would she accept them or would I be adding to Esme's already exorbitant collection from me.

"Please Bella." I purred in her ear. Her breath caught, her heart started beating double time...another thing I would miss dearly.

"Would I have to wear them?" I frowned. What kind of a question was that?

"Yes. Not all the time, but I would like to see them on you" And nothing else...something to think about after we were married.

"How much did they cost?" I heard the frown in her voice.

"It's a _gift_ Bella. I'm not going to tell you." She sighed again.

"Expensive then, I take it" Bella muttered.

"_Nothing_ is too good for you" I confirmed.

"And giving them to me will make you happy?" She sounded confused by this concept.

"Yes" I whispered, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Please Bella" Another kiss "Please" I kissed a path down her neck.

"Ok Edward. You win" She answered rather breathlessly.

I slid out from underneath her, so I could knee down in front of her and watch her face as she opened the boxes. Extracting the necklace first, I placed the box carefully in her hands. Her eyes lifted to my face, studying me for a minute. I wonder if she can see the absolute joy it brings me to give her things. After a second, her eyes dropped back to her hands where she shakily opened the box and gasped.

"It's beautiful" Bella murmured. I leaned forward and lifted it out of the box before clasping it around her neck, letting it fall in the valley between her breasts...tantalizing.

"You're beautiful" I added, kissing her lips before handing her the next box; the bracelet. She studied me once again before opening the box and sucking in air. I attached it to her other wrist.

The third box was small and she raised her eyebrows at me. I took it from her hands and opened it for her.

"Oh Edward" The ring was beautiful, not as beautiful as Bella, but it would complement her perfectly. I slid it onto her right hand.

"Perfect" I smiled at her. She did look magnificent; her pale skin contrasted by the black of her clothing, the blue sapphires nestled against her creamy skin.

It was moments like these that I wished we were both human...or both vampire...so I could ravish her and her body to my mind and body's delight.

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	21. Compromising

21

**Warning****: Heavy Edward x Bella make-out session and ****sexually**** related topics discussed. Not recommended for young eyes. **

**I don't own anything, all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Enjoy... **

BPOV

Edward's eyes were doing that _molten_ thing again. I watched as he stood and slowly drew me into his arms.

"Edward?" He simply smiled and pulled me closer. His lips were suddenly on mine, caressing, loving, and tender. My heart started pounding. I leaned into his body and his arms tightened around me slightly.

Abruptly, I found myself on my back, nestled in the giant bed with Edward's lips still attached to mine. His lips parted from mine to pay attention to my neck and I gasped heavily for breath. My hands found their way into his hair and I tugged his head back up. Pressing my lips back to his hungrily, I heard a purr deep in his throat. I love that sound...and that _I_ elicit that sound from him.

Every inch of his body was pressed gently against mine. His lips left mine again and he was panting slightly.

"God Bella" He murmured, burying his face in my neck.

"No, don't stop" I whimpered. Edward's head lifted and he smiled before he kissed a path down along the top of my shirt, gently running his cool tongue along the crests of my breasts. I stopped breathing.

"When should we stop?" His voice was huskier than usual; his hand gently brushed my hair away from my face before he started kissing my ear. Oh my.

"B-but you're th-the one that s-sets the bound-boundaries" I gasped as he continued his sweet torture.

"We're not having sex love; I just want to know when to stop. Do you like this love?" He wondered.

"Mmmmm" My mind was slowly turning to mush...he was setting my body on fire.

"When do we stop Bella?" He demanded again. I could hardly focus on his words.

"B-before third base" I muttered. He gently kissed his way back up to my lips.

"What's third base? We're not playing baseball" Edward laughed. I froze. He didn't know?!

"Not that k-kind" I tried to explain as he continued to lay kisses all over my face.

"What kind then? What's first and second and home while we're at it?" He asked. I felt my face turn red.

"Its physical stages that you reach in a relationship" I replied quietly. Edward paused and cupped my face gently kissing my lips.

"Go on" He instructed with a smile.

"S-so first base is kissing, second base is making out and touching certain areas, clothes on...uh third base is pleasurable touching and homerun is uh _sex"_ I whispered out the last half of my sentence. This was rather mortifying. Edward was simply smiling at me.

"We haven't really made it to second base then, have we?" He chuckled. Why was he chuckling? I just shook my head no. "Explain the rules of second base to me again love" He requested, kissing the corner of my mouth.

"They're more guidelines, than rules Edward" He rested his weight on his elbows as he pulled back to study my face, dipping his head, he brushed his nose against mine.

"I see. Then define _pleasurable_ touching" I knew my face must be fast approaching crimson.

"I-uh, well-you see- no" I mumbled. I felt his hand slip under my top and I stopped breathing, again.

"Like this?" He wondered, rubbing a slow circle on my stomach.

"T-that's second base" His hand moved a little higher, to cup the underside of my breast. I moaned softly.

"How about this?" His lips started to trail up and down my neck again.

"Still second" I gasped. I felt his hand slide lower, and lower, reaching the waist band of my skirt.

"NO!" I shrieked. Edward laughed.

"So let me get this straight my Bella. Above the waist touching is second base; below the waist touching is third?" I nodded, feeling a renewed blush in my cheeks.

"I can work with that" I shuddered at how deep and sexy his voice had gotten. He could _work _with that?

"Are you sure?" I asked carefully. Not that I was scared of him, or worried about pushing our physical boundaries; I wanted to go all the way with Edward without a doubt. I was just unsure about if this was what he wanted.

"What do you mean by that, lovely?" His fingers were drawing interesting patterns on my stomach.

"D-do you..."This was a lot harder to ask than I thought, especially when I was being driven to distraction by his hands.

"Do I what?" He had paused in his movements, serious for a moment.

"Do you want to...?" I gestured sort of between us bit; I was a little vague and more than a little embarrassed.

"Yes" One word, so strong and sure before his fingers were tickling my stomach and his lips were cherishing my neck.

I lost myself in the moment, his hand, still ever gentle, trailed higher to cup my breast once again. He was being reverent and caring. The sound of his purring kept us cocooned in our own little world. Edward pulled back slightly and he slid my shirt over my head, leaving me in my skirt, shoes and black lacy bra.

"Mmmmm my beautiful Bella" He murmured before kissing my lips with a little more force. His tongue stroked my bottom lip teasingly, and I opened my mouth for him. Edward's tongue entered my mouth, hot meeting cold. Damn he tasted as good as he smelled. I was in heaven.

"Edward" I sighed blissfully as he titled his head away and resumed kissing my neck making his way down to my breasts. I was just unbuttoning his shirt when there was loud knocking on the door.

Edward groaned and pulled my shirt back on me, while throwing his off onto the floor.

"Damn Alice" He growled before climbing off of me and stomping over to the door.

He threw it open and there stood Esme and Carlisle.

"Can I help you two?" Edward snarled. I hid my face under a pillow. I was pretty sure they knew exactly what we had just been up to...not that we were going to go very far.

I heard a smack.

"That is no way to speak to Esme, Edward" I pulled the pillow away from my face just long enough to watch them enter and the door snap shut behind them. That sound made me feel apprehension.

"Bella dear, come out and have a chat with us" Esme called. I think I flinched. Suddenly I felt strong arms wrap around me and pick me up. It was just Edward, relax. I let him...well...I don't _let_ him do anything...he carried me out and sat down in the same lazy boy I had been sitting in before but I sat in his lap this time.

"Speak" Edward ordered in my ear.

"We weren't doing anything wrong!" I babbled immediately. I felt Edward's hand over my mouth.

"Not you love; Carlisle and Esme have some things they want to say" Oh. Oops. I knew my face was bright red, another few shades darker won't make that much more difference.

"Sorry" I mumbled through Edward's fingers. Carlisle laughed and shook his head, relaxing back in the couch with Esme tucked up next to him.

"Right, well we both know you two love each other very much" Carlisle began and I felt my stomach drop. NO WAY!

"And that you two are begging to experiment sexually with the other" YES WAY THEY WERE!

"NO!" I shouted. "Stop talking right this instant!" I covered my ears and closed my eyes. There was dead silence around me...

"Bella?" Edward pulled a hand away from my ear. "Calm down love. It's ok" I shook my head and struggled off his lap so I could pace between him, Esme and Carlisle.

"No, it's not Edward, it's not. This brings up bad memories" I shuddered and kept pacing, suddenly I found Edward in front of me.

"I thought you've never had a boyfriend before me" He growled. I started laughing, I couldn't help it.

"Not me silly. I was the one giving the lecture. Kids" I murmured, mindlessly patting Edward on the head and pacing around him.

"WHAT?!" Edward exclaimed, he sounded completely puzzled.

"I think you should start at the beginning Bella, so no-one is confused. Sit down Edward, Bella" Carlisle commanded. I sighed and watched Edward sit before collapsing in his lap.

"Well...uh, you both know Renee and Phil got married before I moved to Forks." They nodded. This is where it got...uncomfortable. "They...you see...they were acting very much like adolescent teenagers so I had to sit them down and give them the talk." I spat out in one breath. I felt Edward start chuckling behind me. Retching out of his arms, I turned to face him, hands on hips.

"It is NOT funny Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" He immediately wiped the smile off his face and gestured for me to continue.

"So I gave them the talk about how much they were in love but that didn't mean they didn't need to be cautious and practice safe sex. Then, not half an hour later..." I whispered and shuddered slightly; I still couldn't believe they had done it. They were supposed to be the responsible ones, not me!

"Then what?" Esme requested eagerly.

"Then...Icajuwuhghtgktheemidfoingiteonmykdbed!" I huffed out; my face feeling like it was on fire.

"Slower Bella, not even immortals could understand that" Edward chuckled and pulled me back into his arms. I buried my face in his shirtless chest.

"I caught them doing it on my bed...and they weren't even...I can't talk about this" I shivered and pulled myself as close to Edward as I could.

"What happened then?" Carlisle asked excitedly. What?!

"I told them to get dressed, clean up and buy me a new mattress and new sheets...and some condoms while they were at it" I grumbled, so highly embarrassed it wasn't funny. Silence.

"And how does this experience make you feel Bella?" Carlisle questioned all business tones again. HE DID NOT!

"I'm not going to talk about it. Especially not when you ask me that question." I answered into Edward's chest.

"What's wrong with my question?" Now Carlisle sounded affronted.

"Because that's what shrinks ask their mental patients." I sighed.

"Alright enough" Esme called out. We all faced her.

"Edward, do we need to remind you to be responsible with your actions regarding Bella?" She enquired.

"No" He sounded curt.

"Bella, you know the consequences, and then there are the ones we're unsure of. Have you both thought this through?" Esme turned to me.

"We're not having sex till we're married" I replied insistently.

"Oh. But Alice...she...Carlisle?" Esme's voiced wavered with uncertainty.

"Alice is playing her little games again. I believe I told Bella not ten minutes before you entered that we would not make love until we were wed. I am allowed to touch and kiss my fiancé. Neither of you have had a problem with that previously. And it is none of your business if or when we do decide to slide into home. It's our decision, we're not you're regular adolescent teens" Edward's voice was strong and persuasive.

"Slide into home? What does that phrase mean?" Esme wondered glancing at Carlisle.

"Teenage slang, love, I doubt we'd be able to understand it. We'll see you two at home tomorrow then." Carlisle rose gracefully with Esme on his arm.

"Till then" Edward murmured, his hand running through my hair. The door shut quietly and Edward's lips descended on mine.

I pulled away from Edward and rested my head on his chest.

"The kind of killed the mood didn't they love?" Edward spoke softly into my ear.

"A little" I nodded but pressed a kiss against his skin.

"Do you want to stop?" He speculated, as he went back to dropping kisses down my neck. Edward seemed to really like doing that...and I had no complaints because it felt incredible.

"N-not really" I answered.

"Good" I was once again lifted into his arms as he flew into the bedroom, my shirt was off before I even hit the bed. Edward was again hovering over me. "Now where were we?" He whispered against my lips before deepening the kiss.

I let my hands wander down his chest, memorizing his muscles, tracing them with the tips of my fingers. I felt them tense and bunch under my attention and his purr increased in volume. His head had dropped onto my shoulder as I had been working. Turning slightly I placed kisses along his jaw; he groaned and rolled us over so that I was straddling his lap, my hands braced on his chest. Edward's hands settled on my hips and held me against him.

"Oh by the way Edward... WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Esme was back and she seemed...upset. I knew I was blushing, ok; so it seemed it was worse being walked in on then walking in on someone else.

"Esme, we're experimenting sexually with each other" Edward answered with a smile perfectly mimicking Carlisle's voice. I buried my face in his neck, so now, one hundred years later he decides to become a bothersome teenager. Go figure.

"Unhand her at once young man!" Esme ordered. Edward chuckled and I found myself pinned beneath him, his lips hovering above mine.

"No. Esme, it's no good to say one thing when you're thinking another. Well be home tomorrow and we promise to be good" and with that Edward dismissed her, his lips fused with mine in a tender kiss. I was frozen stiff. Edward pulled away from me and I glanced around the room. No Esme.

"Is she gone?" I questioned.

"Yes angel, she's gone and now the moment really is, isn't it?" His voice was defeated. I smiled at him sadly.

"We'll have some privacy on our honeymoon, right Edward?" I half begged. He chuckled before kissing me again, cradling me as we stretched out on the bed.

"More than we'll need Bella, I promise" Thank God for that, we were just making out and the thought of someone walking in on us was humiliating...what if it happened when we were...well more intimately occupied.

"I'm going to hold you to that" I replied curling against his chest.

"Don't worry love; I'm holding myself to the same promise. I want to be alone with you desperately" He declared.

"I love you Edward" I smiled gently.

"I love you too Bella" As always the words made my heart flutter, even though it was currently resting under Edward's hand and we were laying half naked together.


	22. Naming

**Alright, here is the next chapter. I apologize for not updating sooner. Hope you enjoy!**

**Warnings: Sexual themes!**

22

BPOV

I awoke with a sad smile next to my personal Greek Adonis. We had to return to Forks today...not that the small, damp, dark, wet town hadn't started to grow on me. I was just sad that Edward's and mine time alone was coming to an end. It had been an _enlightening_ experience to say the least.

"Love, whatever you're thinking about; stop it. I don't like this little frown" His lips brushed across _said little frown_, instantly bringing a smile to my face.

"We have to go home today" I admitted on a sigh, staring into his beautiful eyes. I wonder what shade of green they were in his human life...did they make him more beautiful? No, I don't think that would be possible...He was male perfection.

"Yes we do my love" He leaned forward to kiss my lips but my hand shot out, colliding with cool smooth skin, blocking his path.

"Morning Breath. Can I have a human moment?" I enquired, starting to sit up. Edward pounced on top of me, his body pressing into mine enjoyably, forcing me to lie back down underneath him.

"No you may not. I want to kiss my fiancée good morning" I chuckled at Edward's pout before he took my breath away in a deep kiss. His tongue swept along my bottom lip and he pulled back, smiling as bright as the sun.

"Good Morning Bella" He purred seductively, his lips peppering me in kisses as his hands slowly traced the length of my body.

"Good...uh Morning...Ed-ward" I managed between breathless gasps.

Laughing he sat up and cuddled me to his cool chest.

"I love you Bella. Go have your human moment" I was deposited on my feet and given a gentle nudge in the direction of the bathroom.

Shooting him a frown, I entered the bathroom, closing the door with a loud click.

After dressing, Edward called room service and ordered me twice as much food than I could possibly ever eat. Eating my pancakes slowly, I watched him zip around the hotel room, packing up all of our things.

We made our way down stairs, our purchases packed in two large suitcases. I had no idea where Edward had found the suitcases, but there they were. I couldn't believe he had bought so many things for me. I was still wearing the incredible set of jewellery he had purchased for me...they were beyond beautiful. I had also donned a set of new, _incredibly overpriced_, clothes that Edward had picked out. His eyes had danced with joy when I had exited the bathroom.

Making our way to the front desk, I felt Edward freeze and a quiet growl escape his throat. My eyes swept the foyer, but I failed to see any lurking or hidden dangers.

"What is it?" I whispered, as he pulled me flush against his body.

"Mike Newton is here" He ground out between clenched teeth.

My jaw dropped. No way!

"But, isn't he grounded, being punished, under house arrest?!" I wondered, my eyes scanning the foyer again and finding him entering through the front door.

"He's looking for Jessica and Lauren and he's just spotted us." I felt Edward tense even more as Mike rushed towards us.

"Hi Bella!" He greeted enthusiastically. Edward growled and I was pressed closer to his chest.

"What are you doing here Mike?" I inquired.

"Jessica dumped me so now I'm free and single!" He blurted out hastily. "Would you like to go out with me? We could indulge in a little sex-capade of our own!" Mike winked at me as he continued talking. Edward slid me behind his body and glared at Mike.

"Newton!" Edward snapped. "Bella is my _fiancée._ WE ARE ENGAGED! There is no way in HELL that she would ever agree to a date with you. The only one who will be privy to her body is ME! Do you understand?!" I could feel the anger seeping from Edward's body. I _really_ didn't want to know what Mike was thinking about.

"I see your lips moving, but I don't hear those words coming from Bella's mouth." My God! Could the boy really be this stupid?

"Mike. I have no interest in you. AT ALL. I _love_ Edward. I'm _in love_ with Edward. I'm _marrying _Edward. He is my soul mate." I reinforced angrily.

Completely ignoring me, Mike smiled and took a step towards me. Edward's hand shot out to halt his progress and Mike stumbled back, rubbing his chest. I was positive there would be a bruise there tomorrow.

"So Bella, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" Mike tried a different tactic, asking, with that stupid smile that I'm sure _he thought_ was alluring, on his face. Gag.

"You do realise you just insulted her" Edward pointed out snidely.

"What?! No! _You_ just insulted her!" He stuttered, his face turning an ugly shade of red.

"Newton. I did not insult my fiancée. You did." Edward sighed, frustrated, glancing at me in exasperation.

"I know you are, you say you are, but what am I?" Mike retorted snottily.

"Bella. What is this human child on about?" Edward turned to me, looking completely befuddled. I couldn't help myself, I laughed.

"C'mon Edward. Let's blow this joint" I grabbed his hand and tugged him behind me as we scooted around Mike.

"Bella, Carlisle set down the rules and I personally refuse to let you anywhere near a _joint_. Drugs are bad for your health, physically and mentally." I burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Edward took a step back from me.

"N-no, joint as in building, house, complex, hotel. No-not as in a _joint!_" I felt a warm arm slide around my waist and the smile fell right off my face. I stood stock still...Mike was touching me...

"HANDS OFF!" Edward snarled, yanking me to his chest protectively. "Do not ever lay a single hand on her again or you will be sorry Newton" He instructed before practically carrying me over to the reception desk.

I feared for, not only Mike's safety again, but everyone else's in the lobby of the hotel. Edward had anger visibly rippling through his body now. The woman who was serving us kept giving him terrified looks. I traced my finger down Edward's jaw line and across his lips. Reaching up I let my lips press ever so softly against his and watched him take a deep breath and calm down immensely.

"Thank you Bella" He whispered in my ear, with a quick kiss to my neck before he turned back to the woman, a pleasant smile now on his face.

Edward checked us out with deft precision and had the car brought around front, and our suitcases loaded, in the blink of an eye.

"B-Bella? When will I see you again?!" Mike shouted from the arms of a security guard as Edward escorted me to the passenger's side of his Volvo.

"Hopefully never!" I grimaced at him as Edward assisted me inside the car and buckled me in with a light, affectionate kiss.

"Let's blow a joint!"Edward smiled at me. I shook my head and stifled a giggle.

"The expression is, let's blow _this_ joint. Big difference Edward" He frowned then pouted. I grasped one of his hands in mine and gave it a quick squeeze. He brushed his lips across mine and smiled before shifting the car into drive.

We were on the road in seconds, Mike simply a small figure being tossed in the gutter, in the rear view mirror.

"Edward?" I questioned quietly.

"Yes my Bella" He replied taking his eyes off the road to stare into mine.

"I love you" I smiled shyly.

"I love you too Bella" He murmured tenderly before flicking his eyes back to the road.

EPOV

We were on our way back to Forks after our two day getaway. I was reluctant to have to be sharing my Bella again...but at least Rose wouldn't be there. I had had quite enough of her attitude. Bella had been injured and humiliated by her more than one should have to suffer.

Carlisle had ordered Rose from the house, she would not be returning till school began again, not that she would be attending. Emmett had refused to be banished with her, much to her sullen displeasure. Rose needed to learn _sometime_ that she couldn't always get what she wanted, although that had not _ever _been the case. She was still a spoilt little rich girl and Emmett usually indulged her...which I could understand. I indulged Bella whenever I could...even when she didn't want to be spoiled, because Iloved her. Love, I'd decided, had that effect on a male.

I stared at my love as we sped down the bitumen. She was silently gazing out the window, occasionally glancing at me and smiling adorably.

I kept one of her hands in mine, reassured by her warmth and strong pulse.

Thanking God for gracing me with such a miraculous person in my existence, I kissed her fingers and started singing to her.

Within ten minutes, Bella had been lulled to sleep by the motion of the car and my voice. She's so beautiful...it still frustrates me that she can't see that in herself.

All too quickly, I pulled up in front of the house. Racing around the car, I lifted Bella into my arms and carried her slowly inside. Alice, Jasper and Emmett, were all sitting silent and still on the couch, smiling at me. Their thoughts were shouting what they had obviously been banned from saying aloud...at least my love wouldn't have to face their ridicule...I hoped anyway.

_Emmett'sPOV  
Esme and Carlisle told us all about you're almost sex-capade. You two are officially on sex-watch. Suck on them eggs Eddie!!! That will teach you for getting rid of my Rosie!_

_APOV_

_Suckers. It was soooo worth losing my credit card privileges over telling Esme and Carlisle you were having sex when you weren't! _

_JPOV_

_I'm going to have to leave this mad house. God, Esme is so excited that her modest Edward is finally growing up...and jeeze Edward, keep little Eddie in your pants! _

I shook my head and glanced down at the sleeping angel safely held in my arms as I made my way up the stairs. Her sunburn was fading, and I was sure it would start_, shudder,_ peeling soon. The bruises, I knew, were still harsh dark blemishes on her pale skin. My poor love.

Settling her in the soft satin of my bed, I raced back down to the car for the bags and was back by her side in an instant. I really didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone in this house.

Lying down next to Bella, I watched her roll over and snuggle into my side. Lifting a hand, I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and wrapped my arms around her slim waist.

"Edward, a word?" Carlisle knocked softly on the door.

"Come in" I replied quietly.

My eyes watched him carefully as he sung _Star Spangled Banner_ in his mind.

"Something you wish to discuss?" I wondered cautiously, pulling Bella's body a little closer.

"Well, yes, actually...there is something rather important..." He trailed off. I waited silently. "I think you should stay in the spare bedroom down the hall whenever Bella is sleeping" Carlisle exclaimed rapidly.

My teeth clenched, my anger levels skyrocketed and I could hear my siblings laughing from downstairs.

Growling and baring my teeth at Carlisle I locked Bella securely against my chest. She wasn't going anywhere, and neither was I.

"No" I spat out.

"Edward. Be realistic. Her father is an officer of the law and you're dating his teenage daughter –" I cut him off.

"Carlisle. We are engaged! I seem to remember you and Esme doing an awful lot more than kissing when you two were engaged! Bella is legally an adult. She has the right to make her own decisions, regardless of her father's opinions" I tried to rationalize.

"But you two are under my roof." And; _what_? _What_ he says is law?!

"What about Alice and Jasper? They aren't even engaged and they partake in much more risqué behaviour than even you and Esme. How can you punish Bella and I, when we aren't even doing _anything_? All the while not penalising _them_?!" Carlisle opened and closed his mouth before the door slammed open and Esme glided into the room.

"Carlisle Cullen! How dare you? We discussed this and now you've gone behind my back to belittle our children. I won't stand for it! They are both adults, they are waiting to consummate their relationship till when they're married and you agreed to let them be! You cannot separate them; you will simply drive them from our house and out of our lives! Now, go to your room and think about what you've done!" I watched, with great amusement, as Esme practically frog marched her husband out of my room, locking the door behind her.

"Mmmmm Edward...is something wrong?" I heard my sweet mumbled as she nestled her face against my neck, yawning quietly.

"No love, nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?" I asked gently, tilting my head so my lips were against her ear.

"You're holding me like someone's about to yank me from your arms" She smiled softly at me as she lifted her head up from resting on me.

I relaxed and moved a hand up to cup her face as my lips brushed hers.

"I love you" I breathed against her lips. She blinked dazedly, leaning back in to kiss me again.

Chuckling, I indulged her, _and myself if I was being honest_, rolling her fragile body underneath mine as my lips moved ever so carefully against hers. I couldn't wait till I could kiss her with abandon...when she could kiss me however she pleased without the fear of tempting me too far.

"I _told you_ so" Alice hummed from somewhere near the door. Fuzzy thoughts from Jasper and Emmett also floated through my mind as I reluctantly rolled onto my back, pulling Bella across my chest.

"You were right. But I would never have believed this if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes" Emmett grinned, pouncing on the bed. I sat up quickly, curling Bella safely into my lap as Emmett landed where we had just been lying.

"Emmett!" I snarled, glancing down to make sure I hadn't caused any harm to my beloved. She seemed fine...although she was blushing a delightful crimson.

"Keep you knickers on Eddie, I wouldn't hurt my little sis" I rolled my eyes and watched as Alice and Jasper sat at the foot of the bed.

"So you two have finally...taken the plunge?" Jasper wondered curiously. I frowned and sifted through his thoughts.

"No. We're still waiting till we're married" I asserted, slipping my hand under Bella's top, resting it on her lower back. Her skin was so remarkably soft there...

"I think little Eddie has other plans" Alice giggled, staring pointedly at my hand. Why was everyone so worried about me touching my _fiancée?!_

"Little Eddie?" Bella whispered.

"Yeah, you know Bella: his little man, his soldier, his Mr Happy, his Schlong, his Johnson" Emmett explained patiently to my poor beautiful Bella.

"Enough!" I growled, refusing to risk glancing at Bella. I knew she'd be mortified.

"Edward, why did you name..._it_...little Eddie?" I heard my innocent, pure, love, ask curiously. I spluttered.

"_I _did not name my...I did not name it _period_! You have Emmett to thank for that one." I let my eyes meet hers...while her face was tinged red; her eyes were dancing with amusement.

Dropping a teasing kiss to her neck, "From previous experience with my siblings, apparently it's _you_ my love, who has the privileged right of naming" I murmured with a smile. She froze and looked up at me with furious embarrassment burning in her eyes.

"Hey! Not true!" Emmett and Jasper shouted as one. I raised an eyebrow.

"Very true boys...Come Jasper...I think _General Cock_ needs to be reminded who's boss" I shuddered as unwanted images flooded my mind and Alice picked Jasper up and carried him from the room.

That always amused me.

"So Emmett, what did Rosalie bequeath you with?" I heard Bella giggle. I started to laugh too...just _wait_ till Bella heard his nickname.

"Nothing" Emmett retorted gruffly, jumping off the bed, scowling at us.

"That's not what I remember...in fact..."I smirked, egging him on. Emmett growled.

"Fine! It's _Little Drizzly_. I hope Bella gives you a really bad one Edward!" He stomped out of the room slamming the door.

_Oh God, I hadn't even thought of that_. _I had to make sure not to piss Bella off...EVER._

"Relax Edward...I'd never be that cruel" My angel assured me, brushing her lips down my jaw, her hand sliding under my shirt.

"Promise?" I wondered.

"What could be worse than little Eddie or little drizzly?"She inquired as I barricaded the door quickly and returned to her arms. I had both of our shirts off faster than she could blink; her body once again nestled under mine.

"Touché" I agreed before laying my lips to her skin and worshiping her body...desperately trying to push Alice and Jasper's thoughts from my mind... something that Bella and her body tended to do quite quickly.

**Review, tell me your thoughts, ideas, comments and critiques!**


	23. Arresting

**Sorry I haven't updated, Real Life has been kicking my butt. I'm just coming to the end of the college semester and it's been a hectic one! **

**Some adult content in this chapter, but not much.**

**I don't own twilight or the characters...sadly**

23

BPOV

"I'm _bored_ Bella-wella" Emmett groaned for the hundredth time in half an hour.

All the others had gone hunting for the morning...and Emmett had claimed his _Bella time._ We were only an hour in. It was now eight am. Everyone wouldn't be returning till lunch time or later.

I was worried for my safety. Both Edward and Alice had assured me though, that no physical harm would befoul my person. I was more concerned about my _mental_ health. _That_ they hadn't given me any reassurances about.

"So you've said" I murmured. "I miss Edward" I really did...my heart was aching, the chasm in my chest not quite healed yet...I needed him like air.

"I _know_. You will _not_ quit whining about it!" He snorted, jumping off the couch to pace restlessly and quickly in front of me. He was nothing but a blur...it was starting to make me dizzy.

"Like you've been any better" I retorted, closing my eyes and willing my stomach to settle.

"It's not my fault I miss Rosie and that you're no fun" Emmett complained.

I sighed. I did not want to discuss Rosalie.

"I'm sorry I bore you. You could have gone hunting too" I opened my eyes again and flinched when I realised he was mere inches from my face, staring at me intensely.

"You don't bore me Bella-wella. You just don't know how to have fun. Eddie has sucked the fun right out of you. And like hell I could have gone hunting. Someone needed to stay with you. You're a walking catastrophe. You could have slipped and bled out while we were all gone. At least with someone here we have a chance of delaying fate. " He was hardly moving, simply breathing and moving his lips, his eyes boring into mine.

"You sure know how to flatter a girl Emmett...and make it sound like I have one foot in the grave" I muttered.

"Bella, since you met Edward you're practically sleeping in the grave. Hell you're begging to be turned into a vampire...you are going to die soon, just not in the normal sense" His statement was blunt....but true. "And not even you can deny you're an accident waiting to happen" He chuckled reaching his hand out to tap a finger on my nose before zooming away.

"Emmett – " I began.

"ROSIE!!!" Emmett shouted happily as I gritted my teeth; watching Rosalie flounce into the room and into Emmett's waiting arms.

Standing quickly I turned and made my way to the stairs, my face burning in both embarrassment and anger.

"Bella!" Emmett called, suddenly in front of me.

"I'll be in Edward's room." I announced side stepping him. He blocked my path again.

"C'mon Bella" He pleaded. I shook my head.

"No Emmett. Move out of my way" Rose didn't want to be around me, and I sure as hell didn't want to be around her.

"I promised Edward I wouldn't let you out of my sight" He admitted, a hand on my arm, still impeding my movements.

"I'm sure he won't mind if I go upstairs and lay silently on his bed for a few hours. I will put some music on and read a book. I'm not going to hurt myself, promise. Now let me be" I growled, trying to yank my arm out of his grip. I think I just succeeded in bruising my arm.

"Bella" Rose's voice whispered from behind me, and then she too was standing in front of me.

I closed my eyes.

"What is it that you two require?" I questioned, my breathing shallow, nervous.

"Can I...we...Bella." My eyes fluttered open and found Rose frowning, considering her thoughts. "I wish to talk to you...apologize" Her face scrunched up in a slight grimace, yet nothing marred her beauty.

"Of course" I reluctantly agreed, turning back towards the couch. It wouldn't hurt to hear what she had to say. Abruptly I was flying for a brief moment and then I was seated in a stone cold lap facing Rosalie. "Emmett?!" I rolled my eyes, frustrated at how helpless I was in these situations. _Just you wait till I'm a new born Emmett Cullen! _

"Bella" Rosalie spoke quietly. "I'm sorry. I overreacted. I haven't been treating you fairly at all. I haven't made anything easy on you. I knew there would be pranking going on this week, it was inevitable. I'm sorry for how I've acted towards you and what I have said and done to you. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me" I felt light headed, then realised I hadn't taken a breath since she started speaking. Breathing deeply, I thought over her words. She looked sincere, she had spoken sincerely. She had nothing to gain by apologizing to me.

"It's ok Rose" I mumbled as I heard the buzz of a phone. Rosalie instantly had hers held to her ear, her lips moving, but she was speaking at a frequency to low or high for my human ears to detect.

"Enough Edward!" She unexpectedly screeched. Ah, Alice must have had a vision about Rose's little visit and informed the others. Rosalie sighed heavily, flipping her hair impatiently. "Yes Carlisle, I'm leaving now" She growled, snapping the phone shut with such force that it snapped.

I found myself sitting alone on the couch as Emmett hugged Rosalie to his chest and spoke gently into her ear before handing her an exact replica of her now crushed phone. And then she was gone and Emmett was flopping down onto the couch next to me.

"You should probably call Edward. Sounded like he needs calming down" Emmett handed me his phone, already ringing.

"Emmett!" Edward snarled viciously.

"Um...no?" I uttered quietly, flinched away from Edward's tone.

"Bella" Edward exhaled deeply, sounding extremely relieved. "How are you sweetheart?" He breathed sweetly.

"I'm fine Edward. Everything is fine. You don't need to worry" I attempted to comfort him, hoping he would finish hunting before racing home to my aid.

"Isabella. I always worry about you! I care about you, I love you, how can I not worry?" I blushed and smiled as Emmett just rolled his eyes at me.

"Ok Edward. I'll let you get back. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Happy Hunting" I giggled.

"Alright my love. I'll be home soon, bye Bella" I handed the phone back to Emmett and continued to smile goofily.

"See you're no fun. With you it's always _Edward this_ and _Edward that_ and he's always like _Bella, Bella, Bella!_ It's sickening. Where is your sense of fun?!" Emmett complain once again.

"Fine. You wanna see my fun side? Give me the phone" I ordered in an angry voice, holding out my hand. Emmett just laughed loudly and patted me on the head before disappearing from the room. In a flash he was back with the home phone. Why he felt the need to use this phone over his mobile I'll never know. One of the mysteries that is Emmett I guess.

I watched him bounce excitedly on the balls of his feet as he handed me the phone.

"Have you ever prank called anyone before?" I wondered, just to be sure.

"No" My jaw dropped. Emmett, the self proclaimed prankster king had never done a prank phone call?!

"WHAT?! You-you're not serious are you? Even I've prank called before...How is that even possible?" I demanded, my voice completely astounded.

"I am serious Bella-wella. Tell me what this _prank_ _calling _is!" I blinked at him a few times, trying to process that he had never done this before...ever.

"All right Emmett, a prank phone call is just a practical joke committed over the phone" I summarised quickly.

"I don't get it" My jaw clenched as I stared at him carefully. Was he trying to infuriate me? He looked completely serious...but then this was Emmett...

"Ooook. How about I do a test one and you can watch and learn?" I tried hopelessly.

"That sounds AWESOME!" Emmett sat on the couch eagerly and started bouncing again.

Right. Let's do this Bella.

"Can you grab me a phone book?" I wondered. I felt the air around me swirl and abruptly a phone book was sitting on my lap. "Uh, thanks"

I flipped it open and started searching for expensive restaurants in the area. Finding one I liked, I dialled the number.

"_Good Morning, Bella Vista Restaurant how can I help you?"_ The voice of a man answered. I put on a fake voice and started sobbing.

"Hello?! Yes, please I need some help! I'm trapped in the bathroom of the restaurant with no toilet paper!" I wailed pitifully. Emmett was clutching his stomach silently laughing.

"_Well you just hold on one second ma'am and I'll have someone come to your aid immediately, don't you worry_" I sighed dramatically at his answer and thanked him repeatedly before hanging up.

"B-Bella! I didn't know you had it in you!" Emmett guffawed, holding his side. I shrugged and handed him the phone.

"Your turn" I smiled and sat back waiting to see what he would do.

"Excellent! I'll put it on speaker phone, so you can listen!" He punched in a number excitedly and sat the phone on the coffee table.

"_Hello Newton Residence, Mike speaking"_ Oh no he didn't! I giggled quietly and waited.

"Hello. This is Elvis McCarthy from Forks Seal-A-Fridge. I was just wondering if your fridge is running sir?" Emmett asked, his voice serious.

"What kind of a name is that?!"Mike snorted.

"Answer the Question sir" Emmett all but growled.

"_Uh, yes_" Mike answered quickly.

"Well then you better go catch it!" And with that Emmett hung up.

"You can do so much better than that Em, that was weak" I shook my head sadly.

The shrill ring of the phone crackled through the air. I raised my eyebrows as Emmett let it ring three times before answering. Another pretend human trait.

"Cullen residence, Emmett speaking" He replied before pulling the phone away from his ear, frowning at it and then hanging up.

"What? Who was it?" I wondered.

"No-one, a dial tone after I answered" He flipped the phone open and started dialling another number.

I stood and exited the room, jogging carefully up the stairs and falling onto Edward's bed. Hopefully that would keep Emmett entertained for a while. Maybe he'd leave me alone anyway.

ExBxExBxExBxExBxExBxExB ExBxExB

I awoke suddenly to the doorbell frantically, repeatedly ringing and Emmett hollering. Sitting up and rubbing my eyes, I started to get up when I heard Charlie's voice ring out.

"Emmett Cullen, I'm sorry but you're under arrest. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law" I froze. Then crept slowly towards the doorway and out into the hall so I could hear better. What the hell was going on?

"But, Charlie what is this about?!" Emmett demanded as I heard the familiar click of handcuffs.

"Telephone harassment , we've had numerous phone calls in the last hour of you prank calling the citizens of Forks" I smiled and bit my lip.

"So you're arresting me?! How did everyone know it was me?!" Emmett whined.

"Son, when they hit redial you answered with your name" I stifled a giggle, feeling only slightly guilty for not mentioning that basic fact about today's technology.

"But-but, how long am I going to have to rot in jail for?!" Emmett asked, his voice panicked. "I'm supposed to be watching..." My breath caught, but his voice trailed off and I exhaled sharply in relief as I realised he wasn't going to rat me out.

"Watching what son?" Charlie questioned.

"My TV show, I never miss it if I can help it. So how long am I going to be in the slammer for?" Emmett's voice was rising in pitch. I laughed quietly again, he sounded so absurd.

"Just until you're father can come down and pay the fine. You need to think about what you've done wrong." I heard the front door open and shut; the house fell silent as I heard tyres on the gravel.

I ran back into Edward's room to grab the landline and tripped, landing (thankfully) on the bed. I cursed quietly under my breath and sat up.

"Such shocking language Bella" The voice of my angel purred.

"Edward?! I was just about to call you" I started to turn around but Edward was already sitting in front of me.

"Yes I know Bella, Alice saw the whole thing. Carlisle is going to leave him there for an hour or so then go and get him. Are you alright love, you didn't hurt yourself?" Edward's hands rested gently on my waist and he pulled me into his lap, peppering kisses all over my face. "I missed you love" I sunk into Edward's embrace and pressed my lips to his gently.

"I missed you too" I breathed as Edward flipped us over and hovered above me.

"Is that a bruise in the shape of Emmett's hand on your arm?!"

_Meanwhile_

_Lauren'sPOV_

Jessica and I were having lunch as _Bella Vista_, hoping that we might spot Edward here with Bella. It seemed like the kind of place he would take her to, and we could always get rid of her when Edward realised it was me he really wanted.

Excusing myself from the table, where Jessica and her latest beau were making goo goo eyes at each other, I headed to the bathroom.

Checking my makeup and hair in the mirror, I slipped into the stall and took care of my business.

"Ma'am! I'm coming, you don't have to worry, I've found the toilet rolls!" A man's voice sung out as the bathroom door banged loudly. I shrieked. Who the hell did this man think he was?!

"Ma'am? Which stall are you in?" I was in the second stall, but no way was I going to inform him of that. I heard him knock on the first stall, and then the door as it got pushed open. I jumped slightly as it shook the stalls. The man took two footsteps and paused in front of my stall. I took a deep breath as he knocked then I glanced at the lock...I HADN'T LOCKED THE DOOR!

Jumping to my feet I dived for the door as I yanked up my underwear. I wasn't quick enough though, the door opened with my skirt still hanging around my ankles, my g-string not hiding much.

I opened my mouth and let rip an indignant scream.

_Emmett's POV_

I was sitting in my holding cell waiting for Carlisle to come and pick me up. I couldn't believe he was letting me rot in here! Too bad only five minutes and twenty six seconds had passed...twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty...

Charlie approached my cell, and eagerly I jumped up, thinking my father had finally come. But alas, Charlie was escorting towards me a red face man in a suit. He unlocked the door and shoved the man inside.

"But she called me at the front desk and asked for some toilet paper! I'm not guilty I tell you!" The man cried, his hands gripping the bars as Charlie relocked the door. Charlie walked away, simply shaking his head.

The disgruntled man sat down heavily next to me. I patted him on the back.

"That's what they all say champ" Poor fool.

**_Is anyone even still reading this story? Let me know. _**


	24. Waiting

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, I really didn't expect many people at all to still be reading this, but here you all are. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your amazing support. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, some adult content/sexual references and minor language.**

**I don't own twilight or the characters...sadly. All belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

_Emmett's POV_

Three hours, eight minutes and eleven seconds...twelve seconds, thirteen, fourteen...WHY THE HELL HASNT CARLISLE COME AND GOT ME OUT OF HERE YET?!

I sighed, highly irritated, and watched the other man pace back and forth at his slow human speed.

He was getting more and more frustrated as time went on...he hadn't even gotten his one phone call yet. At least I knew someone was going to pick me up sometime...

"Aren't there real criminals out there you should be catching?!" The guy hollered. He'd been shouting random things at Charlie for the last hour. I was fighting between joining in and getting a lecture from Carlisle, Esme and Edward or sitting here quietly hopping someone would come and PICK ME UP!

"Man, sit down" I growled. I was ignored...something that didn't happen very often. Huffing I folded my arms across my chest. Weak humans, they don't know nothing.

"You know, I was going to be a cop, but then I decided to finish high school instead!"

"And look where it got you" I muttered, snorting loudly.

"What did you say?!" Oh goody...some fun.

"I'm sorry? Are you talking to me?" I gave him my innocent face, complete with puppy dog eyes and pouting lip.

"You know I am! Stand up, I'll teach you how to respect a real man!" I laughed again as I stood slowly. This was not going to end well for the human.

"I don't want any trouble" I held up my hands, raising my voice slightly, hoping Charlie would hear me.

"You insulted me! How dare you insult _me?! _I'm innocent, I haven't done anything wrong! I don't deserve to be here!" I rolled my eyes and took a dramatic step back as the guy advanced on me. You'd have to be pretty stupid to try to take me on, even if it was just me and my human strength...but with all my immortal arsenal...I flexed my muscles threateningly.

"Charlie! This guys threatening me!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, sitting heavily back down on the bench, cowering into a corner.

I heard Charlie's heavy footsteps approaching and stop outside the bars as...

"WHY YOU LITTLE BROWN NOSE PUNK!" The man latched onto my collar and yanked me (with my help of course) to my feet. I whimpered for effect.

"Unhand that boy now! Fancy taking out your anger on a harmless youth! I'll have none of that in my jail!" Charlie dragged the man off of me and sat him in the opposite corner. "C'mon Emmett, out ya go son. Carlisle called and said he'd be out front in a few minutes, he sent through his credit card detail so your fine is paid too. You can sit at my desk while you wait" Charlie clapped a friendly hand on my back and locked the man inside, motioning me down a hall.

That was pure genius if I do say so myself. Now all I had to do was wait for Carlisle to bust me out of here, and then I was home free...and I could see my Rosie again.

_Edward's POV_

"Is that a bruise in the shape of Emmett's hand on your arm?!" I growled running my cool fingers ever so gently over my Bella's skin.

"I was trying to escape him and Rosalie. _I_ pulled away from _him_, it was my own fault. And remember he didn't rat me out. I could be in jail, sitting right next to him at this moment if it wasn't for his silence" She stammered, trying to protect my goof of a brother from my ensuing wrath. I would not tolerate anyone hurting my Bella.

"He wouldn't have dared, love. He would have never crossed you or me or this family like that..." I assured her, the calmness in my voice surprising even myself. I brushed my lips over the harsh bruise, pressing cool kisses to her overheated skin. Silly Bella, I couldn't wait for our wedding night I wondered if her blush would spread all across...

"But I'm the one-" I cut her words off quickly.

"Don't you dare blame Emmett's ignorance on yourself! He should have had better commonsense. He should have used his brain." I defended her; it was not her fault. Emmett was Emmett...and this wasn't the first time he had ended up in jail over the decades.

"Edward" She grumbled adorably. I rewarded her sweetness with a gentle kiss to her luscious lips...her warm, pillowy, all encompassing, delicate, soft, tasty lips...my tongue darted out quickly to taste her flesh before I pulled myself a fraction of an inch away from her.

"Bella" I smiled, my breath fanning over her face. She blinked at me, dazed, before shaking her head. Another smile curved my lips as I leaned forward, this time catching her bottom lip between mine, and running my tongue over it, sucking on it gently with my own lips.

A quiet moan escaped her precious mouth as her eyelashes brushed her cheeks. She was such a beautiful woman. My woman. My fiancée. My heart, life and soul...

Releasing her, I nuzzled my face into her neck.

"What was it you were trying to persuade me of Bella?" I murmured. A sigh melted from her lips as her body shifted closer to mine.

"Who's Bella?" She mumbled, her voice delightfully befuddled.

"That would be _you_ angel, I'll be back in a few seconds. I just need to talk to Carlisle for a moment. Don't go anywhere, ok?" I slid my body away from hers, laying her down on the bed as her fingers swept across her mouth. Grinning, I raced down to Carlisle's study; entering on his ok. I found Esme nestled in his lap as they reclined on his couch.

"Carlisle. Esme" I greeted warmly.

"Edward, what can we do for you?" Esme smiled at me; even though I'm sure she and Carlisle had both heard Bella and mine's conversation.

"I've come to make a request" I announced. "I wish for you to leave Emmett to stew in jail a little longer, and hour or so more. He hurt Bella, and we all know it won't hurt him to sit there and think for a while" I persuaded logically.

"He needs to learn one of these years that he can't keep getting arrested..." Esme agreed, glancing up at Carlisle. He lifted a hand and caressed her face gently.

"I'm in no inclination to move from this very spot for quite some time...would you and Bella mind collecting him in a couple hours?" Carlisle wondered, his eyes not leaving Esme's face...I now knew exactly how that felt...to love someone so much that I couldn't bear to take my eyes off of her...speaking of Bella...

"Of course. Thank you" I gave them a brief nod.

"Don't forget to inform Bella of Rosalie" Carlisle reminded me as I flew back up the stairs, landing carefully on the bed next to my angel. I had been gone less than half a minute.

"That was quick" She smiled gorgeously, her eyes full of such depth and emotion as she stared up at me.

"I couldn't stand to be away from you for another second" I admitted truthfully. "I dread being separated from you love, I plan to stay glued to your side for at least today...I'm not sharing you again" I declared, rubbing my nose up and down her silky cheek.

_Oh yes you are Edward! I haven't had my Bella-time yet!_ Alice screamed mentally at me.

I pulled Bella closer to me and focused solely on her, determined to drown the thoughts and sounds of my family out.

"So where did you go just now?" My sweetheart wondered.

"Talked with Carlisle" I muttered, quickly darting to the door, to shut, lock and barricade it...I wasn't taking any chances of my family disturbing us. Not when I wanted to worship my love.

"Edw - ohhhh" Bella groaned softly as my lips danced across her now shirtless chest. Both hers and my shirts were lying discarded on the ground. My tongue traced the outline of her bra, while my mind was begging me to rip it from her beautiful body. I wanted to see my gorgeous Bella in all her glory...but today wasn't the day; the majority of my family was residing in the house...speaking of family...

"Bella" _Lick_ "I" _Kiss _"Have to" _Lick _"Tell you" _Kiss "_Something" I murmured, trying to distract her while keeping my mind semi-focused on the task at hand...I wasn't doing so well at focusing.

"Then say it" She gasped as my tongue delved into her belly button. God she tasted sublime...

"I want you naked" I growled out... _Shit_! That wasn't what I was supposed to say.

"What?!" Bella squeaked most adorably as a blush crept up her neck and face before sweeping her chest...ah so her blush does spread, how..._positively sinful_.

"You heard me my love, but I think that that is another base up from second...another step for another day. Right now I have something else to tell you. Are you listening my Bella?" I questioned in a light voice, brushing my lips back and forth across her flat stomach. I was hoping she simply concluded that I was testing her and that those words hadn't slipped out of my mouth accidentally..._I want you naked_...well I did, but that was beside the point. It wasn't exactly appropriate to blurt out such things especially when we were waiting till after our marriage to consummate our relationship.

"Y-yes" Her voice waved as I continued my ministrations for a moment before crawling up her body to press my lips to hers. I rested my body ever so slightly against hers, just enough for her to feel my presence, but no pressure.

"Rosalie is coming back to live in the house. Carlisle and Esme decided that her apology indicated her remorse and hopefully her inclination to not repeat her actions" I stated quietly, pulling back a bit so I could stare at her whole face.

"And...are you ok with it?" She asked, her finger rising to run through my hair. I held back a shiver and stared into her unwavering eyes. I wondered if she knew how much it affects me when she does that...how much it turns me on...the intimacy of those actions. I didn't let anyone else touch my hair; she was the only one with permission...

"I'm ok with it Bella. I'm not leaving your side. No-one else is going to have the chance to hurt you for the rest of this week...forever. Are you ok with her returning love?" She nodded at me thoughtfully, a tender smile playing on her lips. Oh what I would give to hear her thoughts...

"I think so. Her apology seemed sincere, and we all know she never apologizes, so yes, I am if you are." Bella deliberated aloud. I smiled happily at her then stole a quick kiss.

"And what was that little smile about?" I insisted, planting my hands on either side of her head and running my nose up and down the slender column of her neck.

"About you, of course" She giggled as I found a particularly sensitive spot. I tucked the mental note away for future reference. _About me, of course_. I couldn't help it as my lips curved upwards, pulling into Bella's favourite crooked smile.

"Oh? What about me my gorgeous fiancé?" I breathed into her ear, making goose bumps emerge over her skin. I wanted to nibble on her skin...so unfortunate that I would not be able to experience that till she was changed.

"About how when I'm changed, you really won't have to leave my side...not for human moments, not for when you go hunting..." She trailed off as I froze above her.

"Bella-" I started.

"No. Don't Edward. I'm not sorry I said it. It might have been a silly thought, but I'm not sorry I said it and I won't take it back" Her eyes welled with unshed tears as she pushed against my chest, trying to get me to move away from her. Her hands were merely a feather of a touch. I wasn't letting her away from me, not for a second.

"Love...I...Bella stop, you're going to hurt yourself" I noted, collecting her hands in one of mine as I rolled onto my back; Bella ended up perched on my chest. My free arm locked around her waist, holding her captive. "Listen to me for a second Bella, please" I whispered, my heart breaking as a tear landed heavily on her cheek, followed shortly by another. She averted her face and lowered her eyes, focusing them on a patch of carpet in the corner of the room. I sat up instantly, pressing Bella to my chest. I didn't want her to hurt so badly over such a silly misunderstanding.

"D-don't Edward" She sobbed. My lips collected each falling tear, tasting her delicious, strong flavour, with a hint of saltiness.

"Bella. My love, my life, my soon to be darling wife. I was going to say that while I will not enjoy turning you into a monst-vampire, I will enjoy the benefits, and that yes, one will be, never having to leave your side. Although, no doubt Emmett and Jasper will drag me away for male hunting trips and that Alice and Rose will take you shopping now and again, we will essentially be together twenty-four hours a day" Tears were still falling from her eyes, but a smile was now, thankfully, lighting up her face. "And I can't wait...especially for you to be my wife" I added thoughtfully as Bella relaxed against me.

"I love you, so much...words can't express what I feel for you" She confided, emotions shinning from the very depths of her eyes.

"I love you too Bella, and you are absolutely right sweetheart, words are insufficient to convey the expanse of my love for you" I released her hands so I could softly cup her face and bring my lips to hers. "I will change you Bella, after we are married. I want you, forever, and I'm selfish enough to act on that want" I divulged delicately, hoping that one day my words wouldn't change her mind...

"You're not selfish Edward. It's something I want, something I need, and you're kind enough to give it to me" My angel of a woman tried to assure me.

"I won't argue with you Bella" I remarked, letting my lips press against her temple. She sighed.

"Ok Edward...can we just lay here for a while and touch...kiss?" I smiled and lowered my body back down onto the bed.

"Most certainly" I agreed, carefully pulling her body down on top of mine so our lips could join together. I was going to happily spend the next couple of hours pleasing my gorgeous woman with all the kisses she could bear to indulge in.

After she _was_ changed, I intended to spend an entire week doing nothing but kissing her perfect lips...she wouldn't have to worry about needing breath, I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her in anyway; we could simply enjoy the moment, indulge our passions...build our hunger for each other's bodies before coming together in the most intimate way.

Oh yes, I was looking forward to Bella joining me for eternity...but regardless of all the rational, emotional and happy facts laid out before me, I still wished that there was some other way, knowing there wasn't.

_TBC..._

**I'm coming up to three weeks of exams, so I don't know when I'll update next. Hopefully it won't be too long. **

**Review and tell me your thoughts, opinions and any ideas :D**


	25. Showering

**A/N: Rated M. WARNINGS: Sexual references and adult themes apply. Some minor language. **

**I do not own the characters, setting, or anything Twilight, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**25**

BPOV

"Breathe Bella. Take a deep breath, come on my love. Open those beautiful eyes for me." I heard Edward's voice floating through my mind and willed my eyes to open.

"Edward?" I mumbled, confused as I peeled my eyes open. He was hovering above me, shirtless, a smile playing on his lips.

"Yes love. Who else would it be? How are we ever supposed to progress past second base if you keep passing out, breathless?" He wondered cheekily, swooping down and brushing his cool lips against mine.

My mind raced, and then slowly the pieces started to fall into place. Edward. Me. Shirtless. Bed. Kissing. Touching. Lots of kissing and touching...

My face flushed bright red. I couldn't believe I had passed out. My eyes snapped shut. Edward chuckled.

"Bella...my lovely... I want to see your eyes... open them for me angel." His voice cooed again, a laugh on his lips.

Flinging them open and scowling up at him, I folded my arms petulantly across my chest.

"Edward." I growled. He smirked and moved closer until his nose was brushing mine, his mouth periodically pressing to my pouting lips.

"Isabella-soon-to-be-Cullen. I love you." My traitorous heart thumped rapidly in my chest and I melted into his body that was still hovering above me. My arms snaked up around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

We sat still, simply breathing in each other's breaths, his cool air to my warm, mingling and mixing as our eyes bored into each other's; loving, passionate words passing silently between us. I wasn't sure how long we lay there until I noticed Edward staring at my lips, and I at his. Our eyes met, my breathing stopped and he chuckled simply placing a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth. Whimpering unhappily, I took a deep breath and raised my eyebrows. His eyes glowed with desire as his lips pressed against mine; his lips modelling perfectly before his tongue quickly gained access.

I caught myself before I moaned into his mouth. His cool tongue was so tantalizing against mine.

"Edward! Bella! You need to go get Emmett!" Alice's voice interrupted what was a very enjoyable kiss. Her little fist rapped on the door. Edward groaned and jumped to his feet, picking both his and my shirts of the ground.

"I forgot about Emmett, sorry love." He sighed, pulling his shirt over his head, hiding his glorious chest from view.

"Wait...Emmett's still in jail?!" I wondered, sitting up as Edward helped me dress, his hands lingering delightfully on my skin for a few long moments. My pulse raced at the thought of Edward becoming willing to increase our intimacy, it had surprised me initially when he had started our teasing sessions, to say the least.

"Yes Bella. C'mon, let's go." I was in his arms and downstairs in seconds, my gasp caught in my throat. He slid me to my feet as we reached the front door.

We quickly walked to the garage and approached Carlisle's car.

"Edward?" I inquired as he opened the passenger door and settled me inside.

"Charlie might get suspicious if we take my car. He thinks Carlisle is picking Emmett up, I'd like to keep it that way." He explained, zipping around to the driver's side and reversing the car swiftly.

"Oh...how are you going to get Emmett out of the jail and into the car then?" He obviously couldn't go in there; otherwise Charlie would certainly know that Carlisle wasn't collecting his son.

"You'll see Bella. Patience my love." Edward smiled gently, collecting my hand in his as he raced down the roads of Forks, towards the police station.

We sat quietly, the radio tuned to a soft classical station that Edward hummed along to. His melodic voice relaxed me quickly and in no time at all, we were pulling into a park close to the door.

Edward rapidly entered a number into his phone and waited patiently while it rung.

"_Hello Charlie, yes its Carlisle here. Good, yes, thank you. I know it is terribly rude of me, but I am needed down at the hospital. Could you possibly send Emmett out, my car is parked right out front, so he won't be able to stray. Thank you very much. Yes, you can be sure he will be punished extensively for his behaviour, his mother is furious. All right then, thanks again." _I gaped at Edward as he imitated Carlisle's voice flawlessly.

I watched on as Charlie escorted Emmett to the front door of the police station. They both shook hands and Emmett bounded down the steps, slipping into the backseat of the car.

"Hey kids, so nice of you two to bust me out. Took you freaking long enough though!" Emmett ruffled my hair, then Edward's before buckling his seat belt. "Let's blow this joint!" He shouted enthusiastically.

I laughed, raising an eyebrow at Edward.

Edward slowly backed out of the car park, winding down his window a fraction to wave a Charlie before driving off down the street.

"So when were you going to tell me Charlie returned home early?" I wondered quietly, a definite edge to my voice.

"_Oooohh_, Eddie's in trouble!" Emmett taunted gleefully, rocking forward and sticking his head between the gap in the seats, grinning madly at both of us.

Edward growled and flashed his teeth at Emmett.

Emmett simply chucked Edward under the chin and sat back again, presumably waiting for the show to begin.

"My love – "

"Edward. I want straight answers and I do not want to be dazzled into submission. You _will_ regret it later. When did my father return to Forks, why did he return and how long have you known about this and kept it from me?" I questioned calmly.

Emmett was humming _Edward's in trouble_, just under his breath. I watched Edward's jaw clench and his fingers tighten around the steering wheel.

"Shut. Up. Emmett." My fiancé snarled dangerously.

"Please Edward," I interjected, wanting to know the answers to my simple questions. "Why did you decide to keep it from me?" I gazed at him through my eyelashes, studying his face.

"_Yeah_ Eddie, how could you keep something like this from your precious little Bella? She's so adorable! Why didn't you tell her, huh, _huh?!_" Emmett was positively bouncing with excitement; I hoped Carlisle's car would survive.

"Last. Warning. Emmett." Seemed to be Edward's only reply.

I felt like I was being completely and utterly ignored.

"Edward?" I wondered, glaring at him a little now. Really, I could never remember a time when I had been so utterly and completely ignored by someone.

"Edward's not getting any, Edward's not getting any!" Emmett sung annoyingly.

My goodness, had he always been this, _childish?!_

"Emmett, please stop." I begged, watching cautiously as Edward's eyes darkened to a fierce black.

"Oh, _come on_ Bella-wella. He's kept something from you, you should be furious at him! Stop acting all nicey-nice." Emmett turned on me this time.

"Do not tell her how to respond or how to act! She is her own person." I soon expected Edward to start foaming at the mouth; he was radiating angry energy. "Another word from you and you're dead." My loving vampire promised his brother.

Emmett huffed and finally fell still.

Edward's eyes darted quickly over my face, assessing me and my reaction to the situation.

"Bella. I don't know how to tell you this, so please just let me say it all in one go, and then you may ask your questions. Alright love?" His eyes were glued to me now, I worried momentarily about our safety before becoming anxious about what he was about to tell me. It did not, by any stretch of the imagination, sound like good news.

"Okay." I croaked out nervously, vaguely gesturing for him to continue. I heard Emmett sniggered quietly. Something snapped and disintegrated in Edward's hand... something I hoped wasn't vitally important to driving the car home safely.

"Charlie is dating a woman in Seattle; he visited her for the first half of the week. She's a police officer as well and works in a small precinct. He felt so guilty about lying to you that felt he had no other choice but to return early. He's been trying to figure out for the past two months how to tell you. I only found out the other day, before he left, when he let his mind wander to her. I knew he'd been feeling guilty, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Bella, I just wanted you to have a peaceful week, relaxing and having a good time with me for once. I wish things had been going smoother. I'm sorry." After finishing his announcement, his jaw snapped shut and his eyes returned unwaveringly to the road.

My mind was swirling. _Charlie_, _dating_?!

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen – " I started, rapidly being cut off by Emmett.

"You are _so_ screwed!" He laughed as we made the turn into the Cullen's familiar drive, on two wheels. Shrieking, I braced myself against the door frame as Edward forcefully stopped the car in front of the house, the tyres spinning. Before the dust even settled, both boys were out of the car wrestling at a blinding speed.

I slowly stumbled out of the car after them as they disappeared through the house. Following in their wake of destruction, I had only made it through the front door when I heard an almighty roar.

"ALICE WHAT THE HELL?!" Edward's voice bellowed as I took off running for the backdoor.

I was watching my feet as I ran, and became horrified as I observed them fly out from underneath me as I went flying outside. Bracing myself for the hard impact of the ground, I was utterly shocked when I landed in something with a gooey texture and I immediately started sinking.

Without thinking, I panicked, flailing my arms around, only increasing my descent into the gelatinous goo. It was what I assumed quicksand was like, except that its lurid colour, sickly sweet smell and stickiness made it seem infinitely worse.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist and hauled me against a cool reassuring chest, drawing my head above the goo so I could breathe in fresh air.

_Edward_.

I buried my face in his shirt and immediately felt the sticky goo now residing on my face, but I was too dammed relieved I was safe from my plight to find myself caring about something as fickle as my appearance.

"She could have drowned Alice! What were you thinking? Bloody Hell!" The expletive from his lips shocked me more than anything as I felt Edward wade through yards of the offensive green sludge before climbing up the steps and into the house. I glanced over his shoulder and gaped at the backyard.

It was entirely covered in the green goo, two yards deep and extending as far as I could see, I simply shut my eyes and an absurd giggle burst from my lips at the madness that was the Cullens.

I was probably the maddest of the bunch, and I would soon be joining them in name and in soul; after all, I was a human willingly spending my days with a coven of vampires.

When I opened my eyes again a few moments later, Edward was standing very still in his ensuite bathroom, with me cradled in his arms. I peered up at his face as he steadfastly refused to meet my eyes.

"Edward?" I murmured, reaching up to touch his cheek softly.

"I can understand if you're angry at me. I am sorry Bella. I hope you can forgive me." His stiff posture, and sharply delivered words made me want to flinch. However, I needed to allay his fears; I wasn't angry at him.

"Edward, let me speak." I gushed out before he could interrupt again. With his swift nod of acknowledgment, I smiled up at him. I was sure he could glimpse my face from the corner of his eyes, so I continued smiling. "Thank you." His shocked eyes quickly found mine as I spoke again. "Thank you for telling me about Charlie. I'm so unbelievable happy for him, so happy that he's finally found someone after so long. I wish you'd told me sooner, I feel so relieved that I won't be completely abandoning him when I finally do, _join_ you." His eyes softened as he listened to me speak.

Carefully setting me on my feet, his hands cupped my face and he bent down towards me. I blinked at the intensity of his eyes.

"I love you Isabella." He breathed before I found his lips against mine, moving hungrily.

Soon his tongue was entering my mouth, a jolt of electricity zinging down my spine, leaving my body tingling. I found his hands sweeping down my body, worshiping my curves, lingering now and then.

"Edward?" I gasped as his hands crept into the waist of my shorts.

"Bella, tell me to stop." He whispered as he feathered kisses against any sliver of my skin that was revealed to him.

"Edward, I c-can't do that. I love you. I w-want you. I don't want you to s-stop, ever." He groaned heavily and took a slow deep breath.

"I want you too Bella, never doubt that. How about we... compromise?" I nodded against him as he asked.

His excitement suddenly became tangible. _What was he planning?_

"You can always say no, Bella." He promised, his hands grasping the hem of my shirt, toying with it, lifting it and letting it fall.

"Tell me." I requested, pressing a kiss behind his ear, grinning as he quaked.

"We shower. Together. Now." His breathing was slightly laboured; his eyes no longer black, but shinning the molten gold colour I was now beginning to realise was _desire_.

"Okay." I panted, unsure, but willing to trust him with everything... even my insecurities.

His smile became something more as he ever so gradually peeled my shirt up and off. I stopped him as he made a move to remove my shorts, my hands simply ripping his shirt open, buttons flying and bouncing around the tiled room. Growling with amusement, he shrugged out of the material, allowing it to flutter to the ground.

"_Bella_." He purred seductively, tearing my shorts off my body effortlessly and throwing them behind him. Dashing backwards a few feet, Edward's eyes raked my body eagerly.

"Beautiful as always." He muttered, back in front of me in a heartbeat, his pants now missing. I smiled at his silk boxers, wondering where he found that shade; they matched my eyes.

"Dazzling, as always." I returned as he pulled me flush against his body his lips grazing mine.

I shivered as his hands slowly slid up my back, coming to rest at the clasp of my bra.

"Are you sure Bella?" He inquired gently, fingers dancing over my skin lightly.

"Y-yes." I nodded, my face buried in the crook of his neck, my breathing rapid. In one flick, my bra had popped open and I whimpered as I felt him drawing it down my arms, uncovering me for his pleasure.

"God, you're going to make one hell of a sexy vampire." He laughed darkly, causing my skin to flush at his praise.

In a blink I found us under the water of the shower, my underwear and his boxers still firmly on.

"Ed-Edward?" His hands were moving over my body, sliding easily with the water slick on my skin.

"Second base Bella; touching is restricted to above the belt. I'm not sure if I could handle more just yet my love. This is so much more than I believed I'd ever... dreamed I would ever feel, thank you angel." His words were so heady as well as appreciative.

"I love you Edward." My words lacked in comparison to his, and they couldn't possibly say it all, but they did simply sum up my feelings. I _did_ love him, for a multitude of different reasons, for _everything _he was.

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**Hope you enjoyed. **


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